Jun 30 2014

Monday 30 June 2014: An evening stroll on the estate.

Met JJ and Sarah for a bit of lunch in the sun. It was almost too hot. I’m sure my cheap work trousers were starting to melt.

Seeing as we can’t go for a walk around the woods in the evening as Ghengis is in bed, the missus and I did a few laps of the garden, and watered some plants.

you: that must have taken all of 5 minutes
me: four, I think.

Jun 29 2014

Sunday 29 June 2014: Looking for fwogs

Although there was no rush to get home as Bama was looking after Ghengis we decided to just head home after breakfast. Feeling weary is the best way to describe things I guess.

A nice afternoon of lying around in the garden with Ghengis and the missus and Bama, then Jenelope arrived back from a hen night. Then Bumps arrived to take Bama home, and we all went for a wander.

Mama oishi for tea. A not so quick sort through of the photos from the wedding yesterday. And now I have started the battery charging process for next Friday’s wedding. I always end up with too many batteries. Like far, far too many. But better safe than sorry I guess.

you: super late night last night was it?
me: I was asleep before 1
you: and you slept until after 9. And you are "weary"
me: looking that way
you: how ancient are you exactly
me: ancient enough that a 1am finsih feeling mostly sober is enough to knacker me
you: big pansy. When I were a lad I could stay out till 6am and start a days work down’t pit at 6:05.

Jun 28 2014

Saturday 28 June 2014: Congratumulationtastic

At Chris and Leigh’s wedding today. Great fun. It didn’t get off to a great start though when I made us half an hour late leaving home to drive to the hotel an hour away. I made matters worse when we got to the hotel and realised I’d left my shirt in the cupboard. Whoops. The full kilt outfit, but no shirt. Brilliant. I asked the hotel owner if there was anywhere I could get a dress shirt in the next 5 minutes. Nope. 20 mins drive to the nearest town. Brilliant. Then she said I could borrow her husband’s. And a tie. And she went off and ironed it for me. Actually brilliant!

The ceremony was going to be outside but just before it started the rain came down. In buckets. The bride could see everyone sheltering under a tree from the window, and took pity on us. She called one of the ushers and we all moved inside.

Food. Drink Ceilidh. All good. And Matt had built an awesome raspberry pi powered photo booth complete with printer.

A great way to spend our wedding anniversary, by celebrating at the wedding of friends!

you: What. A. Plonker.
me: me
you: who else?
me: it could happen to anyone
you: Every single time you go to a wedding yer kilt shirt is an issue
me: ’tis not!
you: so, the last wedding you went to?
me: I realised it had a stain on the collar I couldn’t get out.
you: yes, the night before you left. And the time before that?
me: I couldn’t find it.
you: at all. The night before you left.
me: which all leads you to think….
you: You. Are. A. Plonker.

Jun 27 2014

Friday 27 June 2014: Water did come.

Not quite such a successful potty training day for Ghengis today. Not bad, but a couple of wee accidents. Episode one was when she was standing at the back door to wave bye bye to mummy. "Daddy, water did come". I suspect it was the cold wind that caused it. So I took the mat out back to wash it off. "Daddy, water did come". Brilliant. A few successes too where she called out she wanted to use the potty.

I built the parasol trolley this arvo. Some might say it was a bit "Heath Robinson", others might say it looked frickin ridiculous. On this occasion I’d side with the latter. Jenelope and mum arrived tonight and they were just about rolling about on the floor laughing at it. In fact we all were. One of the main issues is I over-spec’ed the castors. But it does what it was designed to do, so it just needs a bit of refinement.

you: much like you then
me: what?
you: frickin ridiculous, always being laughed at, and in need of refinement
me: but I always get the job done.

Jun 26 2014

Thursday 26 June 2014: Fire Escape. Keep Clear

Bit of a wander with Monochrome at lunchtime. Ran in to Gwak too, been a while since I’ve seen him.

Down to the physio tonight about my elbow. He reckons just to keep going with the exercises he gave me last time, that’ll be 40 quid please, ching ching.

Ghengis had a dry nappy all day at nursery today as she was just asking the nursery ladies for the potty whenever she needed to go. Awesome! Go Ghengie!

Just got all my kilt gear out to check it over. We’re guests at C+L’s wedding this weekend and I’m really looking forward to it.

you: did you check it still fits
me: what?
you: your kilt dummy
me: no, of course it will still fit
you: how long is it since you had it on
me: oh, about 2 years
you: oof, and all you’ve done since is eat cake
me: That’s not all I’ve done
you: ok biscuits too. And nachos
me: Ok so I’ll maybe need to loosen the buckles off a bit
you: loosen the buckles? You realise a 6inch gap down the side is not a good look?

Jun 25 2014

Wednesday 25 June 2014: Busy bee

Had a nice relaxing lunchtime in my wee quiet spot. The sun didn’t quite manage to break through but it was nice enough. I just sat and watched the bees for a while. They were pretty methodical about visiting each flower. And knew when someone else had just visited as they would skip on by.

The wheels have arrived so I can start making the base for the parasol. The sooner I get it done the better as it’s a right pain to move at the moment.

Some more potty action from Ghengis. Poopy potty action. The sooner she is house trained the better.

you: house trained?
me: yeah that will be great
you: house trained?!
me: yes! Getting ever closer.
you: you house train a puppy, not a kid you moron

Jun 24 2014

Tuesday 24 June 2014: Have you ever seen a glow worm?

No? Neither have I. I’d like to though. Turns out no one at the boozer has seen one either. Nor did they understand where my random question came from.

Had a meeting at lunchtime with the wedding co-ordinator for the wedding I am shooting next week. She showed me around the rooms and then let me loose in the gardens. Which. Are. Incredible. Give me some nice dry weather with a bit of cloud and I’m going to be a happy bunny.

It would appear that Ghengis has decided to start potty training herself. She’s been using it a wee bit lately but today she refused to put her nappy on, she would only put on her princess pants. Just for an hour or two. But no accidents. It’s a start.

Had some pretty good nachos tonight. Very good in fact. But Napoleon said I’d been talking $h1t all night so rather than proclaim them my new favourite I should sleep on it.

As for the photo, I just liked the way it looks like the plant is trying to pick the lock

you: very kind of you
me: what is?
you: to loan them to Ghengis
me: loan what?
you: your princess pants.

Jun 23 2014

Monday 23 June 2014: SP

I’m reading Bradley Wiggin’s autobiography at the moment, and today something in it struck a chord with me. It was in relation to fuelling the body, and the coaches analogy was about how rather than brimming the tank on a car just to nip to the shops, just stick a fivers worth in. Basically just fuel enough for the task in hand. I took this on board, so when I got home I had a slice of guiness cake, a full packet of irish cream chocolates. The prawn wrap Ghengis wouldn’t eat. The cheese she wouldn’t eat. The apple she wouldn’t eat. A pile of rich teas. And some salt and rosemary biscuits. Then I had my tea. Then I ran 5k.

Anyway, this is my diablo III character.

you: there’s a zero missing surely?
me: where?
you: you didn’t eat all that and then only run 5k
me: yeah
you: I thought you’d "taken the comments about food on board"
me: I have
you: and then thrown them straight overboard by the sounds of it. Anyway, why is your character a slim blonde woman?
me: because computer games are meant to be a bit of escapism right?
you: and?
me: so what would be the point of me selecting a muscle bound barbarian as my character, that would just be a ……
you: don’t you dare say a reflection of real life
me: …a reflection of real life.
you: one day you’re going to get lost in your dream world and never make it back
me: the sooner the better.


Jun 22 2014

Sunday 22 June 2014: Garden. Done.

I’ve barely stopped today. To be fair I didn’t start until half eleven but after that I was working almost non stop until nearly 6. More fence painting. And I’ve re-painted the walls of the pit. And got the grass cut. And various other wee odds and ends. So that’s it. Patio on path cleaned, painting done, grass cut. It’s ready to sell. Except I’m not selling.

Jenelope did a grand job of amusing Ghengis which meant I was free to get on with things. The missus was away to see a friend. We went to meet her walking back from the station and Ghengis did her horse impression most of the way. She skips along in horsey fashion, with her elbows out to the side, and she clip clips and neighs the whole way. Then she saw mummy and set off at a he11 of a pace.

you: you missed a bit
me: where
you: there in the corner
me: oh yeah
you: and there’s a big drip there
me: where?
you: sitting right there in front of the monitor, typing this
me: ho. ho.
you: you could at least have tidied your toys off the lawn for the photo.
me: you’re on fire tonight.

Jun 21 2014

Saturday 21 June 2014: Dark Oak.

Best 20 quid I’ve spent in quite a while. I’m referring here to the battery powered Ronseal spray/pump unit. 60m of fence done in a couple of hours, and that was with some lengthy stops. I hate to think how long it would have taken me with a brush. I like that the machine just clips on the buckets the paint comes in. A nice wee bit of design.

Ghengis has been a source of amusement and wonder today. From when she was so excited at Jenelope’s arrival that she danced and jumped until her shorts fell down – a wee shocked face, a wee ‘oh’, and then lots of laughing, to when she was counting up to four in her book and telling me what things were that I had no idea she knew – high fives all round.

Jenelope and ‘Goo’ are off out to a wedding, so the missus and I watched the great gatsby. Neither of us are sure what we thought of it. I thought it reminded me of Romeo and Juliet and Moulin Rouge, so it was no surprise when it ended and I saw Baz Luhrman was the director. So now I have a director I like, him, and one(s) I hate, the cohen brothers.

you: this blip was brought to you by ronseal
me: eh?
you: are you sponsored by them or something?
me: no, it’s just part of my "praise when it’s good, letters and emails of complaint when it’s not" campaign
you: Ghengis can’t read though can she?
me: what are you talking about now?
you: how is she going to read your letters of complaint when she’s bad
me: There’s the naughty corner until she can read.
you: I assume there is also an idiots corner for you.

parkrun: 24:14 Disappointing.

Jun 20 2014

Friday 20 June 2014: Splish

Down to b&q to get some stuff to paint the fence. I finished pressure washing it too.

Took Ghengis down to the kelpies again. I think that might become a regular friday wander. There was some dude on the other side of the canal out walking his macaw. Yes, I said macaw. WTF.

Got the spray-y-spash-y mat thing out for Ghengis to play on this arvo as it was so nice out. The water was freakin’ baltic though, I don’t know how she could stand it.

The fella I’d asked to clean the gutters on the house came today. He said they were the worst he’d ever seen, with dirt backing up under the tiles. Not great, but now they are clean I’ll keep them that way.

The missus is still feeling ropey so just a quiet night of telly. We found ourselves watching Ghengis’ "barbie: the princess and the popstar" to sing along with the songs. We need to get out more.

you: a macaw?
me: yes. A macaw
you: you seriously expect me to believe there was a man walking a south american parrot along the canal path in falkirk
me: yes, a scarlet macaw
you: adding a colour to the front doesn’t make it any more believable. On the other hand….
me: what?
you: you watching a film for a wee girl is entirely believable
me: it reminds me of my favourite game, Space Channel 5, that’s all
you: that and yer a big nancy.

Jun 19 2014

Thursday 19 June 2014: Melting

This wee sunflower was planted by Ghengis at nursery. It came back as a tiny seedling, at which point I meant to blip it, but didn’t, and now the damn thing is about 3ft tall. Another cracking day, which is perhaps why the flower appears to be melting.

Out to the gardens with JJ for lunch again.

Home and started pressure washing the fence ready for Jenelope to paint it. Then out for a curry with Steven. Not really curry weather…but I had one anyway.

you: for Jenelope to paint? Why the frick would she paint your fence you lazy git
me: because she quit her job and as of last week she’s effectively self employed and working with dad
you: so?
me: so she might like odd jobs to tide her over
you: she might. Then again she might not
me: well either way she’s going to paint my fence for me.
you: and what will you be doing?
me: having a nap in my hammock with an occasional check to make sure she hasn’t missed any bits.
you: you’ll be paying her handsomely though so that’s ok.
me: she can have as many rich tea* biscuits as she wants, yes.
you: *?
me: tesco branded.
you: you miserable so and so.

Jun 18 2014

Wednesday 18 June 2014: A rose by any other name….

….would be misnamed.

Another scorcher. 26C in the shade in the garden. So I left work early to get home and enjoy it. So what happens? As is the norm whenever I try and get home early the trains are cancelled. Too hot for them no doubt. Or the wrong kind of sunshine on the track.

Anyway got home and the new parasol and garden seats had been delivered. The missus has decided she doesn’t like the parasol as when it’s folded up it looks like a dementor. She’s right you know.

Finally got the front grass cut. It’s a bad sign when the grass is taller than your mower. Had there been any flowers in it I might have got away with it as a wildflower meadow. Anyway, this is just the rose bush out the front catching the last of the light.

you: and your finger
me: and my finger what?
you: it’s just a rose and your finger
me: what are you talking about
you: your finger
me: I gathered that but why?
you: because it’s there in the photo, just in from the right at the bottom
me: oh, there, that’s, eh, part of the composition.

Jun 17 2014

Tuesday 17 June 2014: AGGGGGgggggghhhhh

You’d think she’d seen a big troll hiding under her slide. But it was only me.

Another scorchio day. Another seat in the gardens for lunch. 24.8C in the shade at home.

Felt a bit odd this arvo so skipped the pub and just came home. Felt a bit better for being outside so just played in the garden with Ghengis and the missus.

Varnished Ghengis’ picnic table. And that’s about it for the night

you: what on earth were you doing to get that reaction?
me: just being myself
you: the poor wee thing! You could at least have tried to be something a bit less scary

Jun 16 2014

Monday 16 June 2014: Shopping for apples

For some reason when Ghengis was playing on her quad tonight she kept stopping and leaning off "to buy apples". Which she would then pretend to eat. Fair enough, I’m not going to argue. Does imaginary fruit count for one of your five a day?

Superb weather today. Out for a wander with JJ at lunchtime. Then home early to play in the garden with Ghengis. I could get used to this kind of weather.

What wasn’t so good was my run. Slowest I have ever done it, by quite a margin. I just wasn’t feeling it. I did see a beautiful wee deer that just stood and watched me run struggle up the hill. And even though I was going so slow it was still there on the way down. And I saw I bat. I love seeing bats. As long as it’s not a huge flock/swarm/gaggle of killer bats

you: and you get a lot of those around your way do you?
me: what?
you: large gatherings of killer bats
me:you don’t know the collective term for a group of bats either then
you: stop deflecting the question
me: look…is that superman….

Jun 15 2014

Sunday 15 June 2014: kelpies and a grumpy old man

Another year closer to the grave. At least my knee worked today, which it didn’t yesterday. And fathers day too.

We went down to the kelpies for the first time. There were hundereds of people there. They are pretty impressive, the kelpies, not the 100s of people. Not constructed how either the missus or I thought, but very impressive. Ghengis had a good wander and kept saying "by ‘orses" when we were leaving.

you: well aren’t you just a bundle of joy today
me: leave me alone, I’m tired
you: that’ll be the old age catching up with you
me: that’s what I’m afraid of. Why would my knee just decide to be painful?
you: to spite you
me: sounds like the sort of thing you’d do
you: if I could, I would

Jun 14 2014

Saturday 14 June 2014: Please…..

….keep your feet off our seats.

Last train home. Not a place I ever look forward to being. But tonight it was ok. In fact tonight I was probably the person people didn’t want to be on the train with. The man sweating profusely in the corner looking like he was going to barf. That was me.

Out for Chris’ stag do (part 2). I couldn’t make part 1 as it was on Ghengis b’day. A good bit of banter tonight though which was enjoyable. More beers than I am used to though.

Taxi up the road with the only taxi driver in falkirk that has no banter what-so-ever. So he didn’t get a tip.

you: he was probably glad to just get you out of his car
me: quite possibly
you: what were you talking to him about?
me: he had a toolstation catalogue on his dash
you: and?
me: if a man can’t talk about the contents of the toolstation catalogue for more than 3 seconds then there is something wrong with him
you: or the idiot in his car
me: the fare paying idiot if you don’t mind.

Jun 13 2014

Friday 13 June 2014: Too many penguins.

While I was arguing with Ghengis about whether she was going to have a nap, I flicked through the paper and noticed an advert for a kids theatre thing, Too Many Penguins, that started in 20 minutes. So I gave up arguing and we raced off to see it. I guess it was Ghengis first trip to see a live show like that. And she seemed to really enjoy it. She sat on my knee for pretty much the whole thing, and from time to time shed look round at me smiling.

I rather enjoyed it too.

Got the pressure washer out and cleaned up the patio set I nabbed that were out for the bin at a neighbour down the road. Looking at similar sets from the same manufacturer I reckon it’s pushing a grands worth! While I had the washer out I cleaned up the whole patio and path, took ages but it looks good.

Watched "The Debt" with the missus. Not my cup of tea. I think the 6.9 on IMDB is a bit generous. Quite a bit.

you: theif!
me: what?
you: taking stuff that’s out for the bin is still stealing
me: I did ask
you: oh.

Jun 12 2014

Thursday 12 June 2014: When I’m cleanin’ windows

A couple of the guys at work have somehow got permission to run a world cup event on our floor. The 32 banks of desks have each been assigned a world cup team. There are flags and bunting up everywhere, and each ‘country’ is decorating their area, some more than others. We are mexico so have some mexican bunting, various flags, and a mahoosive sombrero.

For each game there is in the world cup the equivalent teams at work will battle it out to get through to the next round. One part is a quiz about the opposition country. The other part is a penalty shootout in the "Stadio de la Printor", which made me laugh. They’ve printed out shedloads of crowd photos and have a kids target goal set and foam footballs.

For the first match of the day today a big crowd gathered. I dare say it will calm down, but it was a good laugh and it’s resulting in a good bit of banter.

Makes a nice change for our area that’s for sure.

5k tonight, but I tried to do it as intervals rather than just doing my usual route.

Ghengis said she’d had enough in the shower. When I opened the door there was something rather unsavoury on the floor. I would have had enough too.

you: you?
me: me what?
you: was it you that was on the floor?

Jun 11 2014

Wednesday 11 June 2014: Tiny fwog

More sunshine and showers today.

Met Monochrome for a wander, man it was warm at lunchtime.

Ghengis came racing in the house from nursery shouting about a tiny fwog. Turns out nursery have got some wee baby frogs. Apparently they jump.

I had a t-shirt with a picture of a pirate on it, she pointed at it and said pirate. I was so proud, getting all the important words sorted. I nearly fell out of my seat with emotion when I thought she said she’d had nachos for lunch. She hadn’t.

5k tonight. twas awright. I also put some fertiliser on the lawn. Lets see if that greens it up a bit.

you: you don’t have enough
me: what?
you: emotion
me: for what?
you: to cause you to fall out of your chair.
me: do to.
you: and you weren’t even sitting on a seat.
me: fine. I nearly fell off the floor.
you: so you nearly fell into a seat
me: just leave it. It doesn’t matter. The moment has passed.

Jun 10 2014

Tuesday 10 June 2014: All chalk, no action.

I liked the way the dude with the purposeful, active stride, is blocking out the ‘i’ and ‘o’ of "action"

The boozers we were ticking off were on george street tonight. The George seems to be the in place for 6th years to have their proms. Sutin’s lad was there last night and there was another on tonight. All kids that have just finished school, all dressed up to the nines with limos and all that stuff. What I couldn’t believe was the number of them standing outside smoking. Who takes up smoking in this day and age? I found that very odd. I thought the younger generation were meant to be smart?

One of the pubs we were ticking off was Maddogs. None of us had very high expectations. Pretty much all based off a single visit about 15 years ago. Turns out it’s much nicer than we were expecting, and the food is astonishing value. The nachos were pretty good.

FW collected my bike to take it for a service as I couldn’t face doing it this time. Got a text saying it needs £165 of parts. Eek. Nope. Can’t afford that. Just give it a spit and polish please. He’ll find that hard, as all his bikes are immaculate and fully operational.

Oh, and I went to the physio this morning about my arm. He’s given me a bunch of wee exercises and stretches. And emptied my wallet.

you: about time you went to the physio I was getting tired of the whining
me: well it just didn’t seem to be getting any better
you: so do you know what caused it?
me: aye. I checked back through my blips
you: and?
me: gardening
you: gardening? You don’t do gardening. You cut the grass
me: it was using the secateurs on the neighbours trees
you: sounds like karma to me. You shouldn’t have been attacking his trees
me: so freakin annoying. I was just going at branches that were too big but kept crushing away at them. And it’s knackered my arm. So very, very annoying
you: much like your good self

Jun 9 2014

Monday 9 June 2014: Just the one.

photo. All day.

Not the best of starts to the day as I had a puncture so had to take the mountain bike again.

Weird weather at the moment: tipping down one minute and dry the next. It’s a bit annoying to be honest as it means you never have the right clothes on.

Was going to go for a run tonight, then decided to play diablo III with the missus instead. About 2 minutes after I decided not to go the heavens opened big style. A rare good decision from me.

you: I have a solution
me: to what?
you: your not knowing what to wear dilemma
me: and the solution is?
you: waterproof pants
me: why are you talking american, you mean trousers.
you: no, I mean pants. Undercrackers. Y fronts
me: and what else shall I wear with these items?
you: nothing. Just waterproof pants
me: I’ll pass I think
you: your loss

Jun 8 2014

Sunday 8 June 2014: Frankie

I was out taking photos of the steeple. It’s 200 this year so there are a few events in town. One of which is a photo exhibition.

Frankie stopped me to say hello. He claims to be older than the steeple. Then admitted to being 128 years younger than it. He’s a rock pianist. He still plays apparently, and does a bit of singing. His voice actually sounded like it might have a nice tone to it. He seemed to speak with a bit of a mock american rock accent. I have no reason to doubt anything he said. He told me what boozer he drinks in, so who knows, I might do a Mr John and take him a print.

Out for lunch. The Stockbridge Tap has raised the bar so high for burgers I think I need to stop eating them anywhere else.

you: hang on
me: what?
you: out for burgers?
me: aye
you: what happened to yesterdays truffle shuffle concerns?
me: they were yesterdays concerns.
you: surely nothing has changed to make them no longer a concern overnight
me: it doesn’t matter, it’s in the past
you: I believe that is twice you have quoted an animated monkey on blip
me: his name is Rafiki, don’t be so rude.

Jun 7 2014

Saturday 7 June 2014: Throw down some shapes.

Inspired by an appearance on tv from Diversity the cybermen dance crew decided to hit the disco.

Another park run. Another 15 seconds off my time. It was a nice morning for it, which was great seeing as the rest of the day it poured. Worryingly though when i got out of the shower I noticed a hint of belly wobble. This is not good. Something needs to be done about it. Something has been done about it. I removed the mirror. Now where are the cakes.

Another pre-6am start from Ghengis, that’s every day this week, meant that by tea time I was shattered.

Watched the BGT final. I wanted the wee essex laddie to win. He didn’t.

My new flash arrived yesterday so tonight I had a quick play with the two flashes on the wireless triggers, all completely controllable from the camera which is pretty sweet.

Two self initiated potty pee-pee’s today. First time ever. Ghengis, not me I’d like to point out.

you: aye right!
me: what?
you: you wanted the wee essex lad to win
me: I did!
you: more like the french blokes
me: no. While they were very good dancers, they have ruined two of my favourite things for me
you: beyonce and dark eye makeup?
me: no, high heels and mini kilts.
you: I’m sure you look very fetching in them. Now will you do one thing?
me: what?


Jun 6 2014

Friday 6 June 2014: Have I got any on my face?

tis the season to eat ice cream
fa la la la la, la la la la.

Went to take Ghengis to the soft play place this morning but it was closed. As in shut down. How inconsiderate. So I took her to the park instead. And Aldi.

She was really upset when she woke up from her nap, she didn’t want to play outside, or play full stop. She just wanted to sit on my knee with her cuddly bunny and watch her barbie film. I’m not gonna complain. Free cuddles.

We did end up playing outside. 20.9C. Very nice indeed.

you: what kind of maths is that?
me: 20.9C? That’s not maths, just a number.
you: no, your soft play substitute
me: what are you talking about?
you: park + aldi = soft play does it?
me: no it equals play + a joinery router
you: and you need one of those why?
me: because I don’t own one.
you: your typical logic I see.

Jun 5 2014

Thursday 5 June 2014: Sam (2) and some potluck

At work today a bunch of the indian guys and gals had organised a "pot luck" event. Basically they all cooked a bunch of different dishes and brought them in for lunch to share out. And it was all freakin’ delicious! There were all sorts of curries, various rice dishes, and the puddings. Oh the puddings. How about a carrot and milk pudding? Sounds rank? It was absolutely delicious. Everything was so tasty, it’s fair to say I ate a bit much.

So acknowledging I’d probably exceeded any sensible calorific intake for the remainder of the week, I went out for a burger with Sutin. It was our christmas night out. And that’s where Sam comes in. I’ve blipped Sam before. And based on my review last time he had a lot to live up to. But he did. Easily. The burger (spicy lamb with goats cheese) was absolutely superb. The Stockbridge Tap without doubt remains my favourite place to get a burger in Edinburgh. Superb. And I had a few pints of Temptest Cresta to wash it down. A very nice pint, even if it was a bit darker than I normally drink.

you: are you dictating this blip?
me: no. Why?
you: you must be using voice recognition software at the very least?
me: NO. Why?
you: there is no way a fat git like you that has eaten that much in a day can sit close enough to a desk to type
me: well it would appear I am disproving your radical stereotyping of fat gits. As I am typing quite happily. Except for my freakin’ arm
you: aw naw here comes the whining, I’m off….

Jun 4 2014

Wednesday 4 June 2014: Your turn.

After last months baby bump photoshoot we figured it would be nice for them to have some shots with ‘dad’ in too, so today we went out for a quick photo session. Too late for one of the bumps as it is no longer a bump but a (not so) wee girl. Good fun again, even though it was tipping down. Turns out reflectors are useful for more than just reflecting….in the absence of a brolly.

It was Vinod’s wee girls birthday today. I asked if they were having a party, and he said they would have a wee thing at home. He said that back home in India though, on her birthday he used to take her and her birthday cake to the orphanage and they would spend some time with the kids and share the cake out. I thought that was so lovely.

The brake pads on my good commuter bike gave up the ghost last night. I’m not a big fan of screeching brake discs so took one of the full suspension bikes to work. On the way I realised it’s a long time since I rode down a flight of steps. So I found the biggest flight I could and rode down them. And then I did it again. More fun than the usual commute.

you: why
me: why what?
you: why would you ride down a flight of stairs?
me: because it’s more exciting than riding down a gentle slope
you: ah yes, of course it is. And another injury is just what you need. How’s the tennis elbow?
me: not great, now you come to mention it
you: stop being a moron then and maybe it will get better.

Jun 3 2014

Tuesday 3 June 2014: Fluffy

fluffy clouds on the train home today. And lovely blue skies. And green. Everything so green.

Didn’t make it to the boozer tonight as I’d said I’d go along to the woodland group committee meeting as I had some ideas. I wasn’t forward thinking enough to realise this would just result in a bunch of actions for me.

you: you didn’t realise taking ideas to a meeting would result in actions
me: well, yes, I did. But I didn’t necesarrily think they’d end up with me
you: who was going to take them? The squirrels? Foxes? Deer?
me: I told you last time it’s not a meeting of the woodland animals
you: and I’m sure I told you before, until it is a meeting between you and the woodland animals I’m not interested. Unless there is a fight between a polar bear and a donkey
me: eh, we don’t have polar bears and donkeys in the local wood
you: bo-ring

Jun 2 2014

Monday 2 June 2014: Failed

Tonight was the first time I failed to improve on my time for my local 5km loop. So that’s me giving up running I think. Time to move on.

Got home and the missus was cooking. Ghengis had been told off for trying to reach up to the hob, so she was sitting on her wee seat, as good as gold beside the missus just watching her, with the missus telling her everything she was doing. It was very cute.

And she’d done me a nice wee drawing/scribble.

She was a good wee chook today.

My arm/elbow on the other hand was freakin’ sore. All day. I don’t think I mentioned last week but I was at the docs about it. He figures it’s tennis elbow. I said it had been sore for a month or two to which he replied "oh it could be with you for a couple of years". WHAT? No. Not acceptable. Get me a new arm

you: I don’t think the NHS stretches to new arms for minor ailments. Or major ones for that matter
me: minor? It’s agony
you: agony on your scale
me: and?
you: on a scale of 1-10 how sore is pulling out an arm hair?
me: 14
you: Exactly. You are a nancy. Minor ailment.

Jun 1 2014

Sunday 1 June 2014: Big hair….

…and bogeys.

The missus was away shopping (successfully) for a new frock today. So I took Ghengis to the park. Then we had a tea party.

The missus has found a film that Ghengis will sit and watch. It’s some Barbie nonsense, but she seems to sit totally enthralled watching it. So 5 barbie films ordered, I reckon I can now get my Fridays back to the way they used to be, me out on the bike or with my camera. I’m sure Ghengis will be fine, I’ve shown her how to work the grill and the microwave.

Last night I did something I’ve never managed to do before: leave some of my chinese takeaway. I left it with the intention of having it for lunch today. Which I did. And I had the missus’ leftovers for breakfast. I think it was a bit rude of her not to leave me any of the meat though.

you: Chinese for breakfast?
me: mmm, tasty. On toast.
you: how many times do you need to be told, putting *anything you care to name* on toast does not make it breakfast
me: oh but it does.
you: and your lunch?
me: fried rice and chicken kon siu
you: on toast?
me: how else do you expect me to eat it?
you: eh, with cutlery, like anyone else
me: oh I use cutlery. I’m not a heathen.