Apr 30 2014

Wednesday 30 April 2014: Holiday day 5. Come back

This was the view we had for most of the day. Ghengis running away. We went to visit Cragside today. All Ghengis was interested in was the stairs. The minute we were inside she wanted out. The minute we were outside she wanted in. The minute we put her down she wanted up. The minute we picked her up she wanted down. She was hard work.

We figured that since we weren’t really getting to see much of the house, or what there was to be seen, that we’d trade in our one off tickets for a national trust annual pass so we could go to a bunch of places and not really see them either. This displeased the missus. Not only was she wearing "comfortable walking shoes", but she was now a member of the national trust. Well if we’re gonna hit middle age properly we may as well do it with all guns blazing.

There was a lady we kept seeing out and about who was very good at motivating Ghengis though. Getting her to race to the bridge, or to look for squirrels. We asked if we could hire her for a bit of childcare. She said no so we bundled her in to the boot and brought her home anyway.

you: eh, I think that’s called kidnap
me: that’s exactly why we brought her home with us, to deal with Ghengis
you: not "child sleep", kidnap!
me: aye, well you know I was only kidding. We can barely fit a can of juice in the back of the car when the big buggy is in there, let alone a friendly child motivator.
you: I see some more of your logic at play
me: where?#
you: rather than spend a bit of money to not see one place, you’ll spend more to not see more places
me: that’s not my logic, that’s actual logic
you: and that’s actual delusion.


Apr 29 2014

Tuesday 29 April 2014: Holiday day 4. Dogfight

We spent the day at the Durham botanical gardens. We only went to have a bit of a look, then we were going to go to the cathedral. But it turned in to such a nice day we just spent the whole arvo there. Had a nice lunch on their terrace too. We’d forgotten Ghengis’ sun hat so had to fashion something out of a bib, she looked like a wee old housewife.

She did lots of running about. Lots of hitting the "rain" button in the rainforest greenhouse. Lots of "this way daddy", "this way mummy", and we eventually got her to have a nap. While she was having a kip under the trees I spotted these butterflys.

All that, and when we asked her what her favourite thing was about the day her response was ‘orses. Bl00dy horses! The second thing was Jenelope, we didn’t even see Jenelope, we didn’t even skype her! Next in line was ‘mandma’. Ditto. Then Fottie. A third person we neither saw nor spoke to. Next was mummy. Then was daddy. Sixth. Sixth place. Behind three people she didn’t see. I know my place.
you: hahaha
me: yeah I thought you might find that amusing
you: are you sure you were even sixth?
me:no. I’m fairly sure there was something else in there, fish, perhaps. But when I look back on this in years to come I want to be at least sixth.
you: don’t worry, I’ll be sure to remind you. You didn’t even scrape into the top five of your daughters favourite things for the day


Apr 28 2014

Monday 28 April 2014: Holiday day 3. All the way to Beamish…..

…..and all we say was this lousy chicken. I wonder if it’s related to the one we saw when we went all the way to Twycross.

Had a cracking day at Beamish. We were there for nearly 7 hours, and for the most part Ghengis was a wee trooper. I reckon she must have walked a mile or two today. Fingers crossed this translates to a lie in tomorrow. She liked the piglets, and of course the ‘orses, and the lambs. But I think that most of all she liked the trams. We did a couple of laps at the end on the tram as she seemed to like it so much. I was slightly dubious about how much fun we were going to get for our £36 entry fee. But I reckon it was probably worth it. The missus even got to have a nap in the sun on a bench, that’s got to be worth a few quid.

It was also day 1 of the "thank goodness I haven’t got my big camera" tour. The fuji was just the job. To the extent I started looking at new lenses for it.

Got a lovely email back from Andy of Trish and Andy today. They loved the photo I took of them. And on top of that their kids loved the photo too.

you: why?
me: why what?
you: do you insist of blipping photos of chickens whenever you go somewhere interesting?
me: I don’t insist on it. I just do it
you: there must have been all sorts of interesting stuff?
me: There was. There was the olde worlde dentists. And the sweet shop, and the farm, and the trams
you: yet you blip a chicken
me: yet I blip a chicken
you: well worth your 36 quid entry fee. Where are you going tomorrow?
me: Durham Cathedral maybe
you: well at least there are no chickens there
me: you’d think…..


Apr 27 2014

Sunday 27 April 2014: Holiday day 2. Childs portion.

No. Seriously. This was the childs portion at the carvery we went to for lunch. Ghengis gave it a good shot. But she was defeated, even though we took most of the yorkie off her. She ate plenty of the veg and some of the turkey. After she claimed to be finished the first word she said was "cake". Not a chance kiddo.

Today has been frickin hard work. Verging on helliday rather than holiday. Dunno what’s been up with Ghengis but she hasn’t half been playing up. Perhaps there’s nothing up with her at all. Perhaps she’s just being an adventurous, energetic, inquisitive almost 2 year old, pushing at boundaries whenever she get’s the chance. But I would quite happily have selotaped her on to one of the horses here at the farm then set it free this arvo. But then she gives you a wee cuddle and says sorry and she’s my wee poppet again. Little $h1t!

We went through to Durham with the intention of going to see the cathedral, then remembered it was sunday so would be in use for some palava or other. So we came home and went for lunch at the carvery next door.

Ghengis’ favourite word at the moment is ‘orses. She just keeps wanting to go and look in the horse kennels. I’m concocting a story about how awful horses are and how much work they are, as there’s no way she’s ever getting a pony under my watch.

you: no wonder she’s playing up!
me: why?
you: I would have too
me:why?!
you: you took her yorkshire pudding off her!
me: aye well I don’t want her turning into a wee tubster. Not like the poor wee bairn at the table further along. Surrounded by a table of morbidly obese family members who were feeding her coke . She was about 6 months old. Poor wee chook. What chance does she have?!
you: get you on yer high ‘orse. beer and nacho man
me: I have three beers a week, if that. And nachos probably once a fortnight. I do regular exercise. And I don’t eat a lot of sweets
you: Which is a shocking example to set for your poor wee girl. You monster. And I think "regular exercise" is pushing it. I’ll let you away with unregular exercise.


Apr 26 2014

Saturday 26 April 2014: Holiday day 1. Park Run 3. They’re back (2014)

And the start of the "I wish I brought my big camera" tour. What I would have given for my big camera and the 200mm this morning. Ach well. This holiday I decided to just bring the fuji to decide if I’m going to keep it.

Sutin pointed out that there was a park run just down the road from the holiday house. So for some reason I found myself there this morning. 23min 17s. Happy with that for the 3rd attempt and still no training. The missus and Ghengis came along and because the course was fairly short laps they just kept crossing sides to cheer me on which was ace. The missus said I looked relatively spritely on the first lap, and like a zombie by the finish.

Went out to get supplies, to the worst asda in the world. In Stanley, which appears to be inhabitted solely by litter dropping hoodies.

Then out for a bit of lunch where I really enjoyed the food, and was impressed by the service. Mostly teens, but they all walked about with purpose unlike the slovenly folk you sometimes see.

A trip to another shopping place for more supplies, slightly more pleasant. Then home.

There are loads of swallows around, and although dad said he saw some a week or two ago today is the first I’ve seen of them, so now they’re officially back.

Day 1 done. I hope day2 doesn’t start at 5:50am like today did

you: How many supplies do you need?
me: we needed staples. Asda. And decent. M&S.
you: And at what point does doing the park runs become the training?
me: I was wondering that myself. But that’s me done. No more.
you: aye right
me: so you’re just going to leave those 17 seconds hanging there are you?
me: ach. dammit! Probably not. I’m my own worst enemy
you: no that’s me. You’re in second place. Loser
me: you see that’s why I don’t compete at anything. Because i invariably lose.


Apr 25 2014

Friday 25 April 2014: Ghengis Friday

Took Ghengis down to the soft play this morning and we were there for nearly 2 hours. I was knackered, I don’t know why she wasn’t.

Didn’t manage to get much packing for our holiday done, she was a bit hard work. And when she had her lunchtime nap I went for a nap too.

The drive down to our house for the week went pretty well. Rank weather most of the way, and terrible fog for the last couple of miles. But the roads were pretty empty, we found the house, and it seems nice.

Roll on a relaxing week. If only

you: why would you be knackered at soft play?
me: because it’s hard work?
you: sitting watching Ghengis play was hard work?
me: sitting watching? I wish. She just keeps dragging me round.
you: awww, poor you, getting dragged around a wee soft play area sounds like such hard work
me: it is! It’s not designed for someone my size
you: blimey is there anything you can’t whine about?
me: not that I’ve found yet.


Apr 24 2014

Thursday 24 April 2014: Ding dong the bells are going to chime.

I went up to the castle at lunchtime today. Last chance I’ll get before the membership card runs out. I went down to a section I hadn’t been before, there wasn’t anyone else there but a couple standing where I wanted take a photo, so I waited. Then all of a sudden they were both inordinately happy. Something must have happened. A proposal perhaps? Then I saw the lady look at her hand. Yup. A proposal, it must be. Awesome! They were both so incredibly happy. There was no one else around and I so wanted to ask if I could take a photo, but a) I didn’t want to interrupt their happy moment, and b) I chickened out.

I wandered about for a bit, kicking myself at missing an opportunity. But then I spotted them again. So I went over and asked if they had just got engaged, congratulated them, and explained about my journal and asked if they’d mind me taking their photo.

So this is them. Trish and Andy. If they can hold on to even just a tenth of the happiness they had in those moments after Trish accepted Andy’s wedding proposal then their life together is going to be wonderful. And I hope it is.

And of course they must now be in the market for a wedding photographer. If only I’d had one of my business cards ;-)

you: aww, how sweet!
me: I know. Nice stuff eh
you: certainly seems to have cheered you up
me: you know what? It has. They seemed like a lovely friendly couple. I wish nothing but the best for them
you: and a proposal at edinburgh castle sure beats your effort eh?
me: does that have to get brought up again?
you: every time a proposal is mentioned? Yes. What was it again?
me: a tuesday night after tea while the credits of home and away rolled in the background
you: ah yes, that was it. Classy.


Apr 23 2014

Wednesday 23 April 2014: Canalside apocalypse

I went a wander up to the canal today.

I saw some ducklings. They were tiny, cheeping away and racing along. That put a smile on my face. It didn’t last long. Dunno what was up today, I wasn’t in the mood for anything at all. Certainly not being in the office. This scene just looked a bit post apocalyptic, which is how I felt.

Home and put fitted the new light cluster in the beemer. It was a 5 minute job. So much easier than the day of faff I had last year mending it rather than replacing it. Got the roof box fitted. Odd, but I think the car looks smart with it on. I don’t know why.

you: You pointed out why.
me: Why what?
you: you like the car with the roof box on
me: when?
you: first word, second last sentence
me: Odd?
you: Indeed you are.


Apr 22 2014

Tuesday 22 April 2014: Deux Canards

The boozer selection was fairly poor tonight. The first would only serve the beer I asked for in a 2/3 pint glass. I don’t want 2/3 of a pint. I want a pint.

The second we went to as it had rave reviews for it’s burgers on tripadvisor. They only serve burgers during the day.

The third seemed to be populated by escaped inhabitants of an asylum. We couldn’t work out what kind though. The bar man was extremely grumpy and the chef decided to shut up shop just as we were about to order.

The fourth was fine. Just a boozer really. The burger was tasty enough. Probably the most haggis I’ve had on a haggis topped burger lately, so that’s a good thing.

The first boozer had hundreds of old slides stuck to the windows to make a sort of frame. I liked that.

you: how often do you have them exactly?
me: have what?
you: burgers topped with haggis?
me: oh, I dunno, that’s maybe my 4th this month.
you: so one a week then
me: hmm, looks like it.
you: and you’re wondering where the extra pounds have come from?
me: not really. I think it’s mostly from the cakes, biscuits and sweets.
you: spot on. Lardy


Apr 21 2014

Monday 21 April 2014: Egg Thief.

It seems that the easter egg hunt never needs to end. Had great fun in the garden when I got home from work. Ghengis played on her bike for a bit, then we had a bit of an easter egg hunt. The amazing bird box continues to produce plastic eggs much to Ghengis’ amazement.

Bit of a wander with sbarlster at lunch and that was about it really. My legs are still freakin’ agony from saturday’s run.

I’ve just eaten half a cow it seems. The leftover roast beef was delicious. There was too much for 1 meal, but not enough for 2. Obviously rather than have a meal bereft of meaty goodness tomorrow I just went overboard tonight.

you: "bereft of meaty goodness"
me: aye
you: did you really just say "bereft of meaty goodness"
me: yes. And now you have twice. I think I’m going to open a restaurant serving nothing but beef. And toast. And gravy
you: I imagine they’ll be queueing to get out the door
me: you mean "queueing out the door", as in busy, dimwit
you: no I mean queueing to get out the door. Who want’s beef and gravy on toast
me: me
you: that’s one.
me: and the restaurant’s not even open yet. What a start!
you: what an idiot!

………….
A month and half of back blips starts here if you can be bothered.


Apr 20 2014

Sunday 20 April 2014: Good ‘un

As weekends go this has been a belter. Wall to wall sunshine, and probably as much time spent in the garden as the entirety of last year.

Bro in law was around and we had a roast dinner, consumed outside in the pit. Another easter egg hunt was arranged for Ghengis, which she thoroughly enjoyed again, especially the magic bird box that seemed to have another egg in it every time she looked.

All the fresh air has made me feel pretty tired. And my legs ache from yesterday’s run. But I’m not going to complain, the vitamin D has done me good.

you: sunstroke
me: what is?
you: it’s always the same
me: what is?!
you: whenever you say you’re not going to complain after it’s been sunny the only possible explanation is sunstroke
me: it was about 14C
you: which is positively tropical for Falkirk. Sunstroke.


Apr 19 2014

Saturday 19 April 2014: Easter hunt (and park run 2)

Got up this morning and the weather was beautiful again. So for some reason I decided I would have my second go at the 5km park run. Last time I quite enjoyed it. This time I’m not sure I did. I did beat my time by 35s. But was 2 seconds off the target Em set me of sub 25mins. Which is massively annoying and I am blaming technology. I didn’t have any sort of timer with me so I had no idea what my time was going to be.

Mum and dad brought Ghengis down to the park. She was just sitting eating at the finish line. I might take that approach next time.

Dad and I finished building the cover over the trench of terror and while we did that the missus went and got picnic supplies and we all had a picnic on the lawn. If this weather keeps up the lawn will have been worth every penny.

In the arvo we hid eggs around the garden for Ghengis to do a wee easter egg hunt. She seemed to enjoy it. The garden has been invaded by a massive bouncy bunny. She didn’t have too much trouble finding that.

you: so it works
me: what works?
you: your no running training regime
me: it would appear so.
you: so now you’re going to market it?
me: already got the domain name
you: which is
me: theamazingnorunningtrainingforrunningmiracleregime.com
you: catchy.


Apr 18 2014

Friday 18 April 2014: construction

Mum and dad arrived this morning. At half past eight. When they’d said they were going to come up early I hadn’t expected that early! Ghengis spotted them first and got super excited. “mandma, mandma, keek, keek” as she ran off to the door.

Dad and I popped down to the timber place to start getting quotes for the wood I needed to make the trench of terror child friendly. Somehow we ended up getting it delivered this afternoon, and dad and I spent 5 hours on it. Only knocking off when we had to stop hammering as Ghengis was going to bed. It’s looking good.

The weather was absolutely superb. Not a cloud in the sky the entire day, so everyone just had a nice time outside.

I didn’t make it to see the Kelpies as I was too tired. So unfortunately I didn’t improve on last nights shot.

you: so you invite yer folks up then make your dad work all day. Nice.
me: well…he offered….
you: out of politeness no doubt
me: naw…he enjoyed it as much as I did
you: and why do you make up such ridiculous names for areas of your garden?
me: ridiculous?
you: trench of terror?
me: that’s what it said in the title deeds
you: aha. Of course.


Apr 17 2014

Thursday 17 April 2014: kelpies

It was the first night of the grand opening of the Kelpies tonight. As I was climbing I didn’t go, and this was the best shot I got from the car as we drove by. Still, climbing was good. I was climbing the best I have for ages. Did a 6b, and a couple of 6a’s that had to be mislabeled.

you: mis-labeled? You mean you couldn’t do them
me: I did them, they just seemed awful hard
you: also know as “you’re not good enough” . Much like this photo
me: yeah, poor. I got some nice shots today too
you: so why would you post this guff?
me: because the kelpie light show will never happen again
you: until tomorrow night
me: oh. Yeah. Until then


Apr 16 2014

Wednesday 16 April 2014: pink things

Had a meeting down the road today so went for a wander in the botanics with sutin. Not as nice a day as it’s been the last few though. But to make up for it, as we wandered I was eating nachos. Normally I don’t have the canteen nachos from the grill bar, but as I wasn’t on home turf, and I didn’t have any at the boozer last night, I decided to treat myself. And they were actually very nice, and only £3.50.

Random training session this arvo, which was almost identical to one I was sent on about 7 years ago. The approach was used for a while before it fell out of favour. I wonder how long it will be until I’m sent on it again.

Ghengis is a right wee bossy monkey at the moment. In the mornings she won’t sit and watch tv in bed for a bit with us. Instead she goes and gets my slippers, and a tshirt, and then goes and unplugs my phone and brings it over, then pulls the duvet off me if I still haven’t moved. I can slow her down for about 30 seconds by sending her to get the missus’ phone, but that’s about it.

you: just get up then!
me: 5 minutes to wake up might be nice
you: but she wants her breakfast. Don’t keep her waiting
me: she never gets me my breakfast
you: she gets your phone for you though
me: yeah but I’m not sure that’s a good thing
you: saves you getting it.
me: yeah, but it also means she thinks I can’t function without my phone
you: which is correct
me: but I don’t do anything with it other than take photos
you: and since that’s all you do, you therefore can’t function without it. She’s got you sussed.


Apr 15 2014

Tuesday 15 April 2014: Am I bovvered?

I suspect the £60 parking fine won’t be of much concern to someone that drives a car worth £150k. First time I’ve seen an SLS. I wouldn’t say no. I’ve also got a bit of a thing about Range Rover’s at the moment. Not evoque’s. Not sport’s. Proper, full fat Range Rovers. I’d love one.

Another lovely sunny day. Met Oz’ missus at lunch to take a look in the Moray Place gardens as a possible photo shoot location. Very nice.

Started to feel like I was coming down with a cold so just had juice at the boozer and left early. I frickin hope I don’t have another cold coming on.

you: A Range Rover?
me: yeah. I think I need one
you: need one? And why might that be?
me: I’m worried I’m going to get stuck in snow
you: oh yeah, because that’s such a major risk in your life. Idiot


Apr 14 2014

Monday 14 April 2014: That’s more like it

Met Sutin for a wander at lunchtime. Unlike last monday when I met him the weather was ace. So rather than cut the wander short and head home to our offices soaked through as we did last week, today we seemed to keep tacking another bit on to the walk….then another…..and maybe just a wee bit more.

As I finally walked back to the office I realised I had an inner monologue going on about whether I was going to stop in to greggs on the way for a cake. I decided I wouldn’t, and even managed to stick to my decision and walk straight on.

Got home and played in the garden with Ghengis. Then I put the summer wheels back on the car. It looks so much better with them on, and it no longer feels like you are driving around on balloons.

you: who were you talking to about greggs?
me: well I assumed it was you
you: was half of the conversation caustic?
me: no it was actually rather pleasant
you: well it wasn’t me then
me: fair point
you: right that’s it. Who’s this other voice in your head. I’m gonna ‘ave ‘im!
who: you think so do ya!
me: woah woah woah, what’s going on here?
you: shut it you. right, what are the rules?
who: no blades, guns, knuckle dusters, biting, or shots at the groin
you: bo-ring
who: not man enough to do it old school eh. Thought not.
you: right, that’s it! Outside, now!
me: I’ll leave you to it.


Apr 13 2014

Sunday 13 April 2014: Local calzone taste test shocker

Not much happened today, the weather has been shocking. We headed out for a late lunch, to Chianti’s. In it’s previous incarnation with another name and different owners I was never impressed. To the extent that we went twice then I would never go back. They never took note of feedback people left of tripadvisor, they never improved, they closed. Today was an entirely different kettle of fish. The staff couldn’t have been more welcoming, the food was tasty and fresh, and it’s a place I’ll be going back to. To top it off I think their calzone may have knocked Taste of Italy out of the top spot for my favourite.

Oh, Mo Farrah failed to beat the UK marathon record. He came 8th. That’s like 7th loser. Oh no, hang on, he ran 26 miles in 2hr 8min 21seconds. He’s still frickin’ awesome.

you: that’s lucky eh?
me: what? That we’ve found a local restaurant I like?
you: no that you still love Mo Farrah
me: love’s a bit over the top. Have serious respect for as a fellow professional athlete is perhaps more accurate. Anyway, why is it lucky?
you: it means you don’t have to find someone else to put a picture of up in the garage
me: the way you say it makes it sound creepy
you: it is creepy. Hang on a minute, “fellow professional athlete”
me: damn it, though I’d got away with that one.
you: the only thing you’re professional at is eating. And it’s not an olympic sport.
me: not an olympic sport *yet*


Apr 12 2014

Saturday 12 April 2014: get used to this face, you’ll see a lot of it

Through to Napoleon and Esme’s new pad for the second weekend in a row. This time with Ghengis in tow, and it was to a fairly impromptu last minute gathering. We were going to be meeting up with Scott and Clare and baby Ivy somewhere in town, but Napoleon and Esme offered to host, which was ace. There were a bunch of bairns, plenty of tea and cake, and it was a very different gathering to those of days gone by. Great fun though. And the bairns all had a hoot running around the garden and over the tiny bridge. Napoleon reckons he’s gonna get rid of it. I think he might find a sit in/on protest from a bunch of under five year olds if he tries.

Ghengis has started saying “c’mon” a lot. “c’mon mummy”, “c’mon daddy” etc. But tonight I had to double take as she said “c’mon tae fck”. Or at least that’s what it sounded like. Thankfully once I listened again and implanted the “baby talk babel fish” she was in fact saying “come on to walk”. Few. I was going to have to pay a bit more attention to the script on Balamory and Katy Morag to find out which it was that was the root of Ghengis’ scottish potty mouth.

More Line of Duty. Three more in fact. Jeez it’s good, even though I don’t particularly like 2 of the main actors.

you: like you don’t pay attention as it is
me: pah, I don’t pay any attention to those shows what so ever.
you: really?
me: nope, not a jot
you: so when I looked through the window yesterday it wasn’t you that was standing gawping at the tv slack jawed like the village eejit?
me: nope, not sure who you saw
you: it was mr bloom’s nursery that was on
me: oh….yeah….that might have been me you saw
you: I know it was
me: but he was in Falkirk
you: and it’s a show aimed at pre-schoolers!
me: but he was in Falkirk
you: that’s really no excuse at all. It’s still a kids show
me: but he……
you: yes we know. Eejit


Apr 11 2014

Friday 11 April 2014: Flying ladies

Dad prefers these two to the bonnet adornment on his other motor. I’m pretty sure he would have quite happily driven home from perth with them sitting there….lashed on with baler twine to keep them safe probably.

Bit of a faffy family gathering this arvo. Dad was up delivering a piece of work at Glendoick. Mum had been up at W.E for the week so she came down with K & L. Jenelope came down, driven by cousin Sammy because some b@st@rd had kicked her car windscreen in. And dad’s cousin from Canada came along for good measure. Always nice to see everyone together though, no matter how faffy it is.

Started watching the latest series of Line of Duty. Jeez it’s good tv.

you: oh yeah line of duty is good
me: I know eh
you: you realise it was him that did it?
me: who that did what?
you: the murderer, it was him
me: la la la la I can’t hear you
you: I’LL SPEAK A BIT LOUDER THEN. IT WAS…….
……………..
you: oh, he’s gone.


Apr 10 2014

Thursday 10 April 2014: Happy days. (and clean glass)

I love reflected light. I love reflected reflected light.

Great sunny day today. When I got home I cut the lawn for the first time this year. Then I had my first ever proper race on the lawn with Ghengis. That was awesome. Then I was forced to have about another 20. The novelty wore off a wee bit for me. Not for her it would seem.

Then we had about 100 renditions of Baa Baa Black Sheep and The Wheels On the Bus. It seems you’re only allowed one verse of either before immediately switching to the other.

My new phone has an awesome unlimited streaming music app on it, and I’ve been loving it this last couple of days. Heard loads of tunes I’ve really liked from artists I’ve never heard of.

Talking of music, I’ve also been loving the britpop sessions on Jo Whiley’s show. I’d forgotten how many awesome songs there were in that era.

Happy days.

you: who are you?
me: it’s me. What do you mean?
you: pull the other one!
me: what are you talking about
you: there’s more positivity in this blip than the last 4 years combined
me: I dunno, maybe it’s the sunshine
you: liar! I don’t know who you are, but go away back to yer other hidey hole
me: I will
you: and whoever you are, I bet you lost didn’t you
me: lost what?
you: the race with the 2 year old girl
me: yes, I lost
you: maybe it is you after all. Loser,

……………….
a mate is trying to raise a bit of money for the macmillan cancer support charity by selling t-shirts relating to sheffield’s screw up at the half marathon the other day. Take a look here


Apr 9 2014

Wednesday 08 April 2014: Scary-fier

Got the new scarifier out to go over the lawn tonight. It doesn’t half chuck stones out at a fair old pace if they get in it. Then it broke. After about 15 minutes. So I had to traipse off to the shop to get a replacement. Very annoying
you: much like you then
me: good at throwing stones?
you: annoying
me: I’m good at throwing stones too though
you: fine, you can be annoying *and* good at throwing stones
me: yay!
you: simpleton!


Apr 8 2014

Tuesday 08 April 2014: Too far

Went a wander with monochrome at lunchtime. It appeared for a moment that we had wandered all the way to tokyo or some such, based on this sign anyway.

The missus got one of my favourite ever pictures of Ghengis today. They had been shopping, and Ghengis got some sunglasses. She was very, very pleased with this purchase.

Tonight I not only broke through my “I refuse to pay more than a tenner for a burger” rule, I smashed through it, by 40%. £14 for a burger. It’s too much. Luckily I enjoyed it. Was it worth £14? No. It was nice though.

you: why in fricks name did you do that?
me: it was the teachers fault
you: why?
me: because I mistakenly thought he had ordered all the extras on his burger, so I did the same
you: not got enough sense to think for yourself?
me: yes
you: so why be a copy cat?
me: because everyone knows that the teacher almost always orders the best things. So it’s a safe bet to copy him
you: that will teach you to pay more attention to what he says then


Apr 7 2014

Monday 07 April 2014: No miracles

Went a wander with Sutin at lunchtime. This was a mistake. It was tipping down by the time we got to our respective offices. Both soaked. On the way back I stopped in at greggs to get a ‘coni peh to cheer myself up. Then I went to the canteen and had apple sponge and custard….to cheer myself up.

By the time I got home though it was a lovely evening so the three of us went for a wee wander. Ghengis had great fun spashing in the puddles of the car park to the woods…until she fell in one. Then she carried on having great fun splashing in the puddles. The missus said she’s been as good as gold today.

I started trying to aerate the new lawn, which stressed me out. It seems that they didn’t put in as much subsoil as they said. A lot of places I was hitting rocks as soon as I was through the turf. The whole lawn is pretty much saturated, which is understandable given that it’s been pretty wet. Less so when you consider it’s a raised lawn built on rubble.

you: you must be pretty cheery then
me: me? Cheery?
you: well you had two non advisable items under the pretence of cheering yourself up
me: oh no that was just to get me back to my default state
you: of misery
me: no, not misery, thank you very much. More like, well, ok, misery


Apr 6 2014

Sunday 06 April 2014: chandelier-y

Jenelope and magoo offered to look after Ghengis when we nipped through to edinburgh which was ace. The missus and I went to The Angels Share for lunch. The missing apostrophe in this name annoys me as much as it annoys Napoleon. How did they get it wrong for this one and right for their place next door, The Devil’s Cut. Both names supposed to be referring to those used in whisky distilling I assume. Anyway, it was nice to be out for a bit with just the missus.

We were through to go to a wedding fayre that I had been considering exhibiting at but decided not to based on cost. And having spoken to a bunch of the other vendors I’m glad I didn’t. They didn’t seem entirely happy with the number of attendees, or the advertising, or the organisers communications. A few mentioned an alternative though, which I am now on the waiting list for…..for March 2015 as Nov 2104 is already booked up! I had been sent a couple of complimentary tickets….which should have been £25 each. £25 to get in to a wedding fayre?! Mental. Only one winner there, the organisers!

Lovely warm sunny day in town. 15.5C the car was saying, and it felt nice. While through we went to visit Napoleon and Esme in their new pad. They’re all grown up now, having moved from a flat to a house. And very nice too. I can’t get over edinburgh prices though, just mental.

When we got home Ghengis was properly hyper. I think Jenelope had been feeding her chocolate all day as a joke. She did some awesome dancing to her favourite song though. Then she was out like a light at bed time so all the hyper-ness must have tired her out.

All in all a nice day

you: blimey not all that much in the way of complaining today, the weather must have improved your mood
me: nah I’m saving all my complaints for emails at the moment
you: and how’s that working out for you
me: two for two at the moment.
you: aye? What?
me: I complained to a yoghurt company that I didn’t like the shape of there pots
you: seriously?
me: oh I was very serious. I got £6 of vouchers for my efforts
you: eh?!
me: and just got an email back to say a good will voucher was on it’s way as a result of my complaint about the steak we got the other night
you: what?
me: good eh
you: What on earth are they doing?!
me: dealing with honest and constructive customer comments in a good way I’d say
you: encouraging and idiot is what I’d say!


Apr 5 2014

Saturday 05 April 2014: Postie postie do your stuff

This is Ghengis posting an acceptance card for a recent wedding invitation. Little does she know she’s not getting to come with us.

The missus was away shopping today so I was on Ghengis duty again. As is normally the case she was a good wee chook. I took her to the zoo in the morning. When I say zoo I of course mean Pets at Home. And we went for a bit of a wander in the afternoon.

Jenelope and magoo arrived in the evening. Which was good timing as Ghengis had just learned to say Jenelope. We watched The Voice final. Come on British public, what are you playing at? The wrong person won. Watched a few Parks and Recreation episodes too. It continues to be pretty good.

you: oooh the excitement. The Voice final *and* parks and recreation
me: we were all tired
you: and did you vote?
me: no.
you: so you have no right to complain about the outcome.
me: it’s more than a right. It’s a duty.
you: one you take very seriously it would seem.
me: never miss an opportunity, that’s my motto
you: are you sure it’s not “if it’s not utterly perfect I’m going to moan about it because I’m a moaning git”?


Apr 4 2014

Friday 04 April 2014: It’s a boy!

After nearly 2 years, today I realised that Ghengis was a wee boy. Oh no, it’s just the garden hose

Took her swimming this morning. There was an “all customers out of the pool”
announcement.  Nothing to do with us I hasten to add.  Also heard a wee boy say to his daddy “I want my dress on”.  His dad was quite loud about explaining that it wasn’t a dress, it was just clothes.

Picked my new phone up today too.  So far so good.  I’m liking the camera, especially for wee videos of Ghengis.  The stabilisation seems to work pretty well.  I reckon I got a decent deal on it too.  Same can’t be said for the laptop which continues to annoy the he11 out of me.

you: a bit quick there
me: with what?
you: to cry out about your innocence in the “out of the pool” incident
me: she had her swimming nappy on,  it would have been fine
you: I wasn’t talking about Ghengis!


Apr 3 2014

Thursday 03 April 2014: Ring Ring

And you can just keep on ringing. As I wandered passed these phone boxes one started to ring. No way I was answering it!

Another evening wasted on the new laptop.

you: why didn’t you answer it
me: you’ve seen phone booth right?
you: here we go a again! Mixing movies and reality!
me: but it could have been a copycat
you: you looked around at the rooftops didn’t you? Looking for snipers?
me: no
you: yes
me: no!
you: tell the truth
me: maybe just a wee bit.


Apr 2 2014

Wednesday 02 April 2014: Equilibrium

I posted one of my old broken laptops that I’d sold today. But as luck would have it the replacement for the new one I bought last week arrived today. Which is good, because who knows what might have happened if there hadn’t been 5 laptops in the house. A black hole could have formed.

Uma’s leaving lunch today. As seems to be traditional some of the attendees were late. Not just late. 40 minutes late. I don’t have time for faffing like that so I left before my pudding arrived.

Within an hour of the laptop arriving I had broken it. Not physically, but I had goosed the OS install….and the recovery partition. Cue a night wasted faffing.

you: 5? why 5
me: ach they are mostly junk.
you: so ditch them
me: they’re on ebay as we speak
you: and what happens when one sells?
me: a black hole will form?
you: so to save the world from a fate worse than death you’re going to get another new one?
me: well, I think I may have made a mistake with the one I got
you: idiot
me: and do you think a black hole is a fate worse than death? Isn’t it just a route *to* death?
you: who knows?
me: me, that’s why I said it
you: but you asked a question
me: fine. A black hole is a route to death
you: ooh get you, prof Brian Cox watch yer back, there’s a new space expert in town.


Apr 1 2014

Tuesday 01 April 2014: Mixed berry

Uma finished up at work tomorrow. She’s been part of our team for quite a while now. Today she gave me some skittles. It would have been rude not to eat them. She also brought in massive bags of bombay mix, which were delicious. And as they fall outwith my usual self imposed sweet ban I’ve eaten quite a lot over the last couple of days.

Had a green pint at the boozer tonight. It looked very odd, like lime cordial. It tasted not bad though. Unlike the burger I had at what used to be the bank on the high street. Which didn’t taste bad. It just didn’t taste.

First time I’ve come home on the train without my bike in years, it felt rather odd. Thankfully rather than it having been stolen I have just given Napoleon a loan of it.

I also bought a new phone today. My lumia 1020 will hopefully be with my by the end of the week.

you: a loan?
me: aye
you: how much did you charge
me: nothing! It’s a loan
you: so you demanded no cash
me: I didn’t demand anything
you: and he gave you nothing
me: awright awright he gave me a fiver to get a taxi up the road
you: you miserable git!
me: what? I hate walking, so he gave me a fiver to get a taxi
you: you miserable git!
me: why should I be out of pocket as a result of being generous?
you: I’m going to stop talking to you before you charge me for the privilege
me: too late. The bill’s already in the post.