Feb 28 2014

Friday 28 February 2014: Zalman flower

Getting Ghengis to the swimming pool this morning took freakin’ ages. It took me ages to get her dressed, then by the time we got to the front door her nappy had leaked and I had to start again.

It was good once we got there though, I was holding her up on the surface and she was kicking her legs like a proper wee swimmer.

Third day in a row she’s been up in the morning with a time starting with a 5. Not good. I’m knackered.

I’ve turned 2 of my broken laptops into one working one which is a bonus

you: where else were you going to hold her?
me: what?
you: you were holding her "at the surface"
me: well yeah, cause the other option is technically drowning.
you: exactly. So why say it? And it’s more than just a bonus getting one latptop working
me: why what were you expecting?
you: two non working ones still
me: is that all?
you: no, electrocution/fire was the other option.

Feb 27 2014

Thursday 27 February 2014: Moo.

Or whatever noise stags make. Bellow perhaps. This statue was in a watch shop where I was sure they must have missed the decimal points out of the prices. The watches were Patek Philippe’s, and the price made the rolexes seem positively bargainous. But still, it’s bonus day, what’s a man to do?

An interesting start to the day with the first headline on BBC news reading "Standard Life to leave Scotland" or words to that effect. Best get house hunting in London I guess. I suspect we’ll be swapping our five bed detached for a one bed flat.

Felt ropey as a result of yesterdays coughing splutterer I suspect which I found massively annoying and said as much when perhaps I shouldn’t have. Anyway, called off climbing and went for a curry instead. I decided to have the hottest one in an effort to kill off the cold before it gets hold. It certainly made me sweat.

you: you bought one didn’t you
me: what?
you: a Patek Philippe
me: naw all my money is tied up in a car
you: a clapped out rx8 and a diesel beemer?
me: No the McLaren P1 Davidd and I are going halves on
you: good bonus then?
me: I have no idea, for some reason we never got our letters.
you: re mortgaged the house then?
me: twice. And a bit.

Feb 26 2014

Wednesday 26 February 2014: Hop.

Got home and there was a parcel card through the door. Thinking it was the other broken laptop I traipsed down in to town seeing as it was the one late night of opening for the post office. It wasn’t the laptop. It was the computer bit from china that had a delivery date of about the middle of March. I wouldn’t have bothered had I known. Picked up the new blind for the music and reading room while I was down in town though.

Ghengis did some awesome "ready, <miss out steady>, go" tonight. She just ran back and forwards up and down the sitting room turning at each end and straight into her "ready" pose. When she does "ready" she crouches right down and crosses her arms. Very cute and amusing.

It was almost enough to forgive her the 5:30am start this morning. No idea why she woke so early, it’s not like her.

you: the highlight of your day was picking up a parcel
me: well no, the highlight of my day was Ghengis running up and down
you: and you have nothing else to add?
me: my brain is shutting down.
you: big wuss. It was one early start, the first in months
me: aye but the folk sitting around me are bringing in the lurgy. One of them shouldn’t have been in at all as far as I’m concerned, not naming any names, person that sits to my right. I feel a bit ropey
you: oh ffs man up princess.

x/x 4, 1, 0, 11, 11, 13 x

Feb 25 2014

Tuesday 25 February 2014: Not the one oclock gun (2)

Today I made it up to the castle in time for the one o’clock gun, but I didn’t like the photo I took of it. So instead we have this one of the crowd waiting for it to go off.

I goofed ordering some computer bits for dad yesterday morning, but didn’t realise until I got home last night. So I signed up for an amazon prime trial, ordered the bits at 18:45, and they were with him this morning. Incredible. And that’s without the automated drones of the future. Man the future is gonna be awesome.

Huge haggis nachos at Monbodo tonight. Well worth the tenner asking price, but a bit cold in the middle.

The first of the broken laptops from ebay has arrived. It’s actually quite a nice wee bit of kit….except for the broken screen. A bit of a bargain too as there was no detail on the auction so it was a bit of a punt. I could fix it, sell it, and make about 50 quid….. But I might just keep it…..to add to the mountains of other junk.

you: what time was it?
me: what?
you: the one oclock gun?
me: bang on one oclo……… ho ho.
you: idiot. And the future will only be awesome until….?
me: …….the automated drones become sentient and strap machine guns to themselves and wipe out humanity.
you: good boy, you’ve been paying attention in class. Roll on the future eh!

Feb 24 2014

Monday 24 February 2014: SitRep. (2)

It’s been four months since my last status update, and getting ever closer to a year since I started my week long room tidy challenge.

I think it’s time to admit defeat. I’m not man enough for the task. The sofa bed has been out since christmas. I’ve been shuffling around it since then. And using it to store camera gear. I need help.

you: in a lot more ways than one.

2.3/65 4 1 0 11 8 11 2.98/17.8

Feb 23 2014

Sunday 23 February 2014: My reputation preceeds me….

….."here come’s that numpty and his camera again, I’ll give him a good view of my back".

Through to visit Obi-wan this arvo. His wee boy has started walking recently so that was fun to see. He had his own personal in-flight re-fuelling station in the form of Ghengis following him around with his water bottle and offering/forcing it on him at any opportunity. Mrs Obi-wan had made a lovely carrot cake. And rustled up some tasty sarnies too.

When I said the other day that I’d won the broken screened laptop on ebay I should have used that as a reminder to cancel the bids on the other one. I didn’t. I won it too. So now I have two broken screened laptops winging their way to me.

I bought skis/boots/bindings the other night. I’ve now had an email saying my order has been cancelled as they didn’t have the boots in stock. The missus says that it’s fate. I didn’t need them. I’m looking at it more like I now have a couple of hundred quid that needs spent that I didn’t have a minute ago.

you: WHAT?!
me: what?
you: sometimes, very occasionally, if I get crazy drunk and squint really hard I can see a glimmer of sense in your "logic"
me: but?
you: this time it’s utterly ridiculous.
me: I just forgot to cancel a bid on ebay. It’s not that bad.
you: not that you moron
me: what then?
you: well you’re not a skier for a start
me: but had the order not been cancelled I would have been
you: no, you would have been an idiot with skis. But even that doesn’t bother me that much.
me: what then?
you: you don’t have any more money than you had the other day. So you don’t have any money that needs spent.
me: but I do. I had spent that 200 quid. My bank balance was depleted. And I was fine with that. Now it’s been replenished. It’s like a windfall. And what do you do with a windfall? You buy something you’d like but you couldn’t really afford before.
you: for my own sanity I refuse to continue this conversation
me: good. I have some shopping to do. Now who has a ski sale on…..

Feb 22 2014

Saturday 22 February 2014: Artist at work.

This morning Ghengis kept dragging me to the kitchen and saying "goyah". I thought she was just doing her usual and constantly asking for raisins so kept taking her away which was upsetting her. Eventually I realised all she wanted was her crayons so she could draw a picture. Poor wee chook.

Then she wanted raisins.

The missus was away for the arvo with the bro in law so I was on Ghengis duty and didn’t leave the house.

This morning I got up with her and she sat quietly at her wee table playing with her teapot and the cutlery and bowls we got from Ikea last week. Then she got up and picked up all her stuff and kept saying mummy and trying to go upstairs. Eventually I gave up trying to protect the missus’ lie in and let her go up. The wee poppet was wanting to take her mummy breakfast in bed. Where she got that idea from we have absolutely no clue. The missus would rather have had an extra hours kip instead of imaginary beans and a singing kettle I think.

you: poor wee thing
me: I know, but it’s hard to work out what she wants when she starts coming out with new words
you: not that!
me: what then?
you: that’s two days in a row she’s had no one but you for company
me: I don’t know, her dolls seem to be pretty talkative with her
you: she’s just making that up so she doesn’t have to talk to you.

Feb 21 2014

Friday 21 February 2014: That’s my girl

I didn’t even need to tell her, she went off to check the lockers for missed pound coins all by herself. So proud. Much like I was when we left and she dragged me across the car park to the beemer the same as ours. It didn’t matter to me that we were actually in the rx8, she had recognised "our" car. Good work chicken.

I must admit Ghengis had me pretty stressed out by the end of the day though. She’s been hard work.

So I was glad of a jar once I got through to Edinburgh for CM’s leaving do. I’ve aired my opinion of him before. And seeing as every man and his dog turned out for his leaving drinks, it’s clearly a shared sentiment.

you: a dog came out for his leaving do?
me: no.
you: so why did you say one did?
me: it’s a saying. Like "don’t cry over spilled milk"
you: I’ll cry if I want to. It’s such a shame to see cow juice wasted.
me: it’s just another saying!
you: well I don’t like your sayings. I find them to be confusing and full of lies
me: There are three types of lies — lies, damn lies, and statistics.
you: why have you brought statistics into this?
me: it’s just a sayi……I give up.

2.2/64 4 0 0 9 7 9

Feb 20 2014

Thursday 20 February 2014: Diet. Day 1

A cake from the sicilian bakery, then a curry for lunch. This dieting lark is easy. It was CM’s leaving lunch. I didn’t walk out of this one as they managed to serve us pretty sharpish. It was a different restaurant though, Kasturi this time.

First climb in 3 months tonight. Lets just say getting off the ground was harder than it used to be. Maybe something to do with being 14st 5lb 6oz last night. Holy crap that’s bad. The scales are going the wrong way.

you: you are ridiculous.
me: I only had one after eight mint
you: because you finally realised you are turning in to a porker and you had to stop eating?
me: naw, the missus wouldn’t let me have any more
you: so she’s realised you are turning into a porker and doesn’t like it.
me: seems about right.

Feb 19 2014

Wednesday 19 February 2014: Get back in line

Out for a wander with Sutin at lunchtime, after which I went to the 52 canoes as White Lightning had informed us that they now do takeaway lunch. I had a burrito, and it was freakin’ awesome. Super tasty. Super massive. And superb value at only £4.25. If you weren’t a pig you could probably make it last for lunch and tea.

But I am.

So I didn’t.

The batteries for my bike light almost caught fire last night. One of the wires went red hot and melted all the plastic. Thankfully it wasn’t in my pocket at the time. I took it to bits and tried to sort it tonight, but it doesn’t seem to have worked. More expense I don’t need when I just accidentally bought a broken laptop off ebay.

you: there’s a surprise.
me: I did think about leaving some for later
you: but?
me: it was so freakin’ tasty I couldn’t
you: and surely you’ve got it back to front.
me: what?
you: it’s the broken laptop that’s the expense you could do without. A bike light is kind of a necessity for self preservation
me: but my weather station is offline, I need a wee laptop to run it
you: oh, sorry, my mistake. Getting your weather station back online is much more important than staying alive. Idiot.

Woop woop. Lorde just won best international female at the Brits. My incessant listening to her album has been validate. Sort of.

2.2/63, 5, 0, 0, 13, 5, 8

Feb 18 2014

Tuesday 18 February 2014: What the funk?!

1) yes, that is a pint of water Napoleon is drinking. Why? Because the quiet lads afternoon out that I missed on saturday, the intention of which was to tick a few more pubs off the tour, turned into a 19 pub extravaganza
2) part of the reason for this was some awesome news from Oz, so I missed getting to celebrate that
3) the reason the chemist wasn’t there was because he had been burgled. That makes me so frickin mad.

and finally, and the most "what the funk" of all, is that when my nachos arrived tonight I was disappointed at the size of them. Then the Teacher’s nachos arrived, and they were twice the size. What do you mean you brought me the individual portion? I don’t order individual portions. If there is an option of individual or for sharing, I always have the for sharing option. My reputation should have proceeded me. You should have known. WHAT. THE. FUNK!

Heard this on EPOS on the radio the other day, it’s Shenzou from the Gravity soundtrack. I’ve yet to see the film, but the music made me sit up and listen.

you: aw naw, burgled?
me: yeah, bampot scumbags. And the postcard of a tastefully drawn C+B that the drunkards on the tour sent with "Sorry you got robbed" didn’t go down very well
you: I don’t imagine it would have
me: We are yet to receive our postcard. But since it’s apparently addressed to Ghengis I assume it won’t be as crude.
you: let’s hope not.
me: indeed.

Feb 17 2014

Monday 17 February 2014: Hoolit

According to Ghengis I am the man on the back of the packet of crisps the missus bought today. At least that’s what she shouted while pointing….all the way around the supermarket.

you: she’s almost right
me: in what way
you: you are usually the man in the packet of crisps
me: I’ve not had crisps in ages
you: well just replace crisps with any other food. Biscuits, chocolates, crisps
me: I just said I haven’t had crisps in ages.
you: tell that to your waistline
me: I started a new exercise challenge tonight
you: and what’s that? Doing some?
me: essentially.

2.2/61, 5, 1, 0, 10, 5, 6

Feb 16 2014

Sunday 16 February 2014: One pound.

One pound! How can that be possible. How can they possibly make a profit selling six full sets of cutlery for a quid? And six bowls for 90p. And plates too? It makes no sense.

Through at Ikea today to get a shoe cupboard thing. I think Ikea is quite an amazing place. I like all the order they have to everything. And I love the warehousey market place bit. I like looking at all the things.

Ghengis has decided that the words "all, day, long" in "the wheels on the bus" can be replaced by shouting "aaaaaaaah" every time. Which I liked.

Finally got round to cooking the other half of this. And even though it’s been in the freezer for almost a year, once I’d cooked it it was absolutely delicious.

you: once you’d cooked it?
me: perfectly I might add
you: well you weren’t going to eat it without cooking it were you? So why mention "once I’d cooked it"?
me: so I could get my comment about cooking it perfectly in
you: but you could have just written that
me: I could have. But it’s more fun to wind you up.
you: hey hang on a minute
me: don’t like it when the boot is on the other foot eh.

Feb 15 2014

Saturday 15 February 2014: Out of focus…


We headed along to linlithgow for a wander and to let Ghengis have a go on the swings and slide. The wind was bitterly cold, but she had great fun on the slide. Then she threw a wobbly when we tried to get her to leave. I had to bundle her under one arm with her screaming blue murder, I’m sure it looked as if I was abducting her.

Saw the Wolf of Wall Street. Had it been an entirely fictional story I think I would have liked it more. As it is it’s just essentially glamorising a crook. The missus amazingly recognised that his missus in the film was none other than the inventor of the Shrugalero.

you: the shrug-a-what-now?
me: the shrugaloro
you: what the frick?
me: the shrugalero. Come on you must remember the episode where Donna names her new item of fashion wear the "shrugalero"
you: episode of what?!
me: Neighbours of course.
you: are you seriously going to admit to being a neighbours watcher? Oh, ok I get it, was this in like 1987 or something?
me: eh….20 years later
you: you still watched neighbours in 2007?! You saddo
me: but I preferred Home and Away. That makes it ok, right?
you: No!

Feb 14 2014

Friday 14 February 2014: Splish splash 2.

Took Ghengis swimming again. She enjoyed it a bit more than last week. I managed to stay entirely dry from the knees up, until the last 5 minutes when she wanted to jump in to the wee pool, and I had to get in to catch her.

We had a fun day, even though every time the missus asked if she had had a fun day she resolutely responded with a "No" and a shake of the head.

I’m sure there was other stuff, but I can’t remember

you: and these are the flowers you got the missus for valentines day?
me: no they were just sitting on the kitchen table
you: good, because valentines roses are meant to be red. And what do you mean you can’t remember?
me: I just can’t remember
you: it was yesterday! And what kind of swimming were you doing that allowed you to only get wet from the knees down?
me: The "walking around in the shallow end" kind

Feb 13 2014

Thursday 13 February 2014: Cocktail hour at Aldi

Some botched communication meant that when I went to pick Steven up for our first climb since November, he was asleep on his couch and hadn’t had any tea. So I went to Aldi. The entirety of the chap behind me’s shopping was this, 2 bottles of red wine and a can of relentless. What does this make? Other than a sore head? Is it some form of alternate crazy vimto?

you: as you do
me: as you do what?
you: I’m sure most people, having failed to organise a climbing outing, would go to Aldi
me: yeah. Turns out they do have aged fillet steak.
you: so that’s what you bought?
me: no.
you: come on then, you’re mocking someone else’s purchase, what did you get?
me: some socks, some angle brackets, some pry bars, and 2 cans of white spray paint.
you: I wish I’d never asked
me: They have some amazing deals on quality ales, if anyone’s on the lookout.

Feb 12 2014

Wednesday 12 February 2014: The alps

Or the ochils. It reminded me of the alps though.

Yesterdays snow had partially melted and then frozen making the street and paths one big sheet of ice. So I decided to take the long way round to the station this morning as at least it was salted. Half way there I noticed the light on the hills, and ended up racing up exactly the icy paths I was trying to avoid to get a photo.

When Ghengis got home she ran to the foot of the stairs and shouted "daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy……" up them. Love it! Then we had a fun skype with mum and dad as she was bouncing around shouting and basically acting like a (good) wee loon. And her new excema creams seem to be working which is good.

you: more meetings today?
me: more meetings
you: just block your diary out with fake stuff
me: I already block out ever lunchtime to stop folk booking meetings then
you: well that’s just plain rude doing that
me: but folk should be able to have their lunch in peace
you: no no no, I’m in agreement with you.
me: <cough> <splutter> what?!
you: don’t make me say it again.

Feb 11 2014

Tuesday 11 February 2014: Done it before?

Met Leeanne at lunch for a blether and to hand over the Ghengis stickers she has offered to plaster between here and Morocco.

4hrs of meetings today. 4hrs? Why is my diary filling up with meetings? I don’t approve of meetings. Meetings are what get in the way of actually getting stuff done. Most of the time anyway.

Got another wedding photography enquiry today. Woop woop.

Then to the boozer. Had our food in Grand Cru. That place holds some fond memories of rushed pints of stella artois on a friday afternoon with auslaender. The burger was ok but wasn’t great tonight though. They forgot to put the bacon on all our bacon and cheeseburgers. When I pointed this out they brought out a massive plate of bacon. I think Napoleon got the bacon sweats he ate so much.

you: you mean evening surely?
me: what?
you: pints of stella on a friday evening, not afternoon?
me: no, we would be out the door sharpish at half 3
you: part timer!
me: not in those days.
you: and why rushed pints?
me: so I could get the half five train
you: going out for just a couple of pints? What’s the point?
me: a couple? One time we had six.
you: 20 mins per pint of stella?! Not clever
me: Not at all. I barfed on the train once.
you: you barfed on a half 5 train? Classy.

Feb 10 2014

Monday 10 February 2014: lliam street

I really like the lamp posts in this part of town. Maybe one day I’ll get a photo I like of them.

Ghengis has been a monster today. The missus’ hands are all scratched where Ghengis clawed at them all the way around the supermarket. She was throwing herself on the floor in tantrums. She wouldn’t do anything she was asked. She wouldn’t stop anything she was told to stop. In fact she was being so naughty she was putting herself in the naughty corner, then coming out and doing the same thing again. Pretty much as if to say "I don’t care about the consequences". Wee turd.

All this upset the missus. I didn’t deal with that very well. Sometimes I’m not very good at things like that. Sorry poppet.

you: and all that after you saying how good she had been yesterday?
me: I know, I think she must have used up all her niceness
you: much like you did? Many moons ago
me: I can think of one person that would agree with you
you: I can think of a lot more.

Feb 9 2014

Sunday 9 February 2014: Glenshee 2

A truly terrible nights sleep. I’m blaming the jagermeister. Just more fuel to throw on my three total fire. Nightmares and too hot. At one point I was dreaming that one of JJ’s twitter followers was trying to drown me by pouring vodka into my mouth while I slept. I’m sure it was a dream…

I decided that I was going to go up the slopes today, since I’d made the effort to drive all the way up here and had brought my snowboarding gear. I got to the front of the car parking queue, turned around and left. I just couldn’t be bothered with it. So I went to take some photos instead, and it was one of the most fruitless photography excursions I’ve ever had.

Back home and Ghengis has been a good chook all afternoon. In the last couple of weeks she has become really good at keeping herself amused playing away with her dolls and stuff. It’s very cute to watch.

you: you lame a$$!
me: what?
you: all that way and you didn’t even go snowboarding
me: ach I just didn’t fancy it. I’m never sure I enjoy it enough any more
you: loser
me: I think I’m going to buy some skis
you: oh yeah, some classic logical thinking there
me: well I don’t mind being out in the cold, so maybe it’s the boarding I don’t enjoy
you: it’s not that.
me: what is it then?
you: you’re an idiot. Plain and simple.

Feb 8 2014

Saturday 8 February 2014: Spittal of Glenshee

It really was that grey.

Up the road today to join the ski crew. It was a pretty rank drive, tipping down and windy. I was going to go straight on by the house and on up to the slopes to see if I could find any of the folks…..then I noticed the car park at the house was packed because everyone had bailed out. It had been horrible up the mountain. A few had managed some runs, others had hired skis, got to the slopes and decided not to bother.

To the pub for the rugby. Not that I watched or cared. LB and Ham announced they were pregnant which was nice news.

The evening was far more sedate than the one the rest of them had last night. Lucky for me. A few of us ended up playing trivial pursuit with a few beers, with questions from 1991 providing much amusement.

you: ooh rock and roll
me: what? Spit it out.
you: some party! Playing triv.
me: last night was the party, tonight was more of a social gathering
you: and you stuck to your three total rule?
me: naw I fell off the wagon, but only by a few. Some as a result of losing beer-pong. A cup of jagermeister is not pleasant
you: a sip of jagermeister is not pleasant. And limiting yourself to three beers is not "on the wagon"
me: depends on the wagon.

Feb 7 2014

Friday 7 February 2014: Splish splash

I took Ghengis swimming today. She wasn’t entirely keen which I think is our fault for not taking her enough. This was only the second time, and last time she was just a tiddler. She was enjoying splashing around by the end, but only walking, she didn’t like lying down at all.

We watched The Dark Knight Rises tonight. I really enjoyed it. Bane was a cracking baddy, and we never saw the twist coming. I frickin hate the bat-bike and the bat-mobiles though. They are totally rubbish. Especially the bike with it’s stupid wide square edged tyres.

you: eh…. suspension of disbelief?
me: I know, there’s no way that bike could work
you: I don’t mean the bikes suspension moron. I mean whatever happened to the suspension of disbelief when watching an action film.
me: but the bike is just plain stupid I liked his hovercar thing though
you: ok so you’ll accept a flying car but not a bike with oversized wheels?
me: it just looked stupid.
you: now you’re starting to look stupid.

Feb 6 2014

Thursday 6 February 2014: You will be assimilated

The sitting room isn’t a safe place to be.

you: why so few words
me: I have nothing interesting to say
you: it’s never stopped you before.

Feb 5 2014

Wednesday 5 February 2014: Eltsac

Ghengis managed to get hold of her lunch bag, open the zip, open her yoghurt, and cover herself in it this morning in the back of the car on the way to nursery. Nice start to the day for the missus having to clean that up.

Bit of a wander at lunchtime to see if boots had any more cheap toys after the missus got a bunch yesterday. They didn’t. So we just played with the cars from yesterday which are ace. They have decent sized wheels so they roll for miles. Ghengis loves them.

Were just watching Location Location Location and couldn’t believe what the couple were getting for 600k. It was tiny! But it led us to look for our next house, and we’ve found it. We just need to find £17660000 and it’s ours.

Quick go on the turbo and that was it. Averaged 19.3mph. Target was 20.

you: so you failed
me: I prefer "left myself with room for improvement"
you: you failed. And where do you expect to find nearly £18M
me: well, I’m going to start with the back of the sofa. Then the drawer under the bed.
you: aha that should get you close
me:might have to raid Ghengis’ piggy bank
you: and a few other banks I might suggest
me: yeah I’m just trying to find my balaclava. Should be in by the end of the week I reckon
you: aye, jail, not the house.

Feb 4 2014

Tuesday 4 February 2014: Choose life not a knife

Tonight the tour took us to a pub all of us were dreading, Dickens. As with the last pub we were all dreading, The Grapes, it was fine. It wasn’t quite as friendly as The Grapes though. And I probably wouldn’t want to be anywhere near it when a football match was on.

A five quid all day breakfast was consumed. And I delivered the copies of FHM I had selected for the boys, with era specific crushes, for want of a better word. Cat Deeley for Napoleon, Carmen Electra for White Lightning, Louise Nurding for Oz, and Frank Skinner for The Teacher.

you: Frank Skinner?!
me: yeah in retrospect I should have gone for Cameron Diaz, but I found it amusing that out of the 60 or so issues I had, only one had a man on the cover.
you: I’m sure The Teacher was delighted!
me: it had Catherine Zeta Jones on the inside, so it wasn’t all bad.
you: mmmm, Entrapment….

Feb 3 2014

Monday 3 February 2014: Late start

Couldn’t get out of bed. Then couldn’t find the light for my bike. Then couldn’t find my bag. All of this meant I was a bit late for work. All of this meant I saw this awesome sunrise.

you: that is pretty awesome
me: I know, nice eh.
you: shame you didn’t make the effort to get somewhere nice to shoot it
me: I was already late for work
you: no dedication, that’s your problem
me: and dedications what you need
you + me: if you wanna be a record breakerrrrrrr
me: can you believe Roy Castle died in 1994?
you: nope
me: me either. Hey, you only made one barbed comment, and you sang a theme tune from a kids tv show with me. Are we making a bit of progress here?
you: No.

Feb 2 2014

Sunday 2 February 2014: JT’s

Went a wander with dad up his favourite hill this arvo. The wind was biting, but the view you get is great, especially considering it’s only a 25 minute climb.

Ghengis had a fun day playing with Grandma and Grandpa and Aunty Jenelope….which meant I got to have a kip on the couch in front of the fire. Everyone’s a winner!

Took Ghengis to see (my) Grandma too. No sooner was she in the door and jacket off when she decided she’d had enough, tried to put her coat back on, walked up to grandma and waved at her and said bye in the super cute way she does at the moment.

An easy drive back up home, now I’m just waiting on the missus getting back from the airport.

you: and it nearly killed you didn’t it?
me: what?
you: you’re just trying to make it sound like it was "just a 25 minute climb", when in fact you were ready to call in the air ambulance
me: I’m in a default state of being ready to call in the air ambulance, but just because I want to ride in a helicopter.
you: and wouldn’t that be responsible. I take it you’ve been up before?
me: yeah loads. Dad used to drag us up when we were weans and didn’t appreciate the views. We did appreciate that he had already climbed up before he took us and hid sweets on the hill that he would miraculously "just find under a rock"
you: you’ll have to do that with Ghengis
me: indeed I will.

Feb 1 2014

Saturday 1 February 2014: Worlds sexiest woman 1996

The missus is away to visit Em, so Ghengis and I are down to see mum and dad. It wasn’t a very pleasant drive. Snow and slush.

Mum has been clearing out the loft, box after box of my magazines. The quad bike magazine I used to get shipped in from the states when I was young. Surfing magazines. And piles and piles of FHM’s from when I was at uni. So if anyone wants to buy FHM 1995-99 I’m yer man.

Went round to visit Doog in his new house. It’s grand. I wish my house was as warm….and as tidy.

The boys are having a few beers and playing the board game we invented a few years back. Shame I’m missing it, but I don’t get home very often. I’ve had a few texts of questions from it as they go. "Name 2 Steps albums?" (that was one of mine from the music category, rather embarrassing but I blame the missus). The last was "Blonde or brunette"? That’s a group consensus question, majority wins.

you: quad bikes?
me: yeah I always wanted one of them. I used to pore over the tyre patterns
you: and there was me thinking you’d grown boring as you got older. Turns out it’s always been the case. And surfing magazines?
me: yeah I always wanted to be a surfer.
you: yet you never learned to swim. And worlds sexiest woman ‘96? Gillian Anderson?! Was everyone in ‘96 permanently drunk?
me: it was the start of X-Files madness.
you: and finally: Blonde.
me: wrong.