Dec 31 2013

Tuesday 31 December 2013: Toot toot. All aboard

Next stop Miami.

Hogmanay at the swamp. Would you expect anything else? I lost the board game. Would you expect anything else. A grand time had by all. Would you expect anything else? I played on a wii u for the first time. It confused me.

you: would I expect anything else?
me: with regards to what?
you: a modern console confusing you
me: I don’t know, would you
you: no.
me: figured as much. Happy new year
you: No
me: what?
you: it’s not.
me: what?!
you: either.
me: WHAT?!
you: it’s not the new year yet, it’s still the 31st
me: ok fine, so it’s not the new year. But it’s not happy either?
you: no
me: any particular reason
you: I’m in your company.

Dec 30 2013

Monday 30 December 2013: Be a good girl….

….and drink up your ketchup.

Watched dispicable me 2 tonight. Pretty good. The minions are ace.

I had a tub of custard for pudding and then mistakenly read the tub. 1200 calories and 80g of fat. Lucky I’m doing so much exercise these days to burn it all off. Oh hang on, I barely leave the sofa.

Ghengis has started mocking our attempts to discipline her. She’s turning into a right wee monkey, just pushing to see how far she can go. Anyway, we were trying a 1-2-3 strike approach. Now she just starts doing whatever thing she knows she shouldn’t be doing and starts counting for us, not even deeming 1 a suitable start point to start her mocking from! She climbed onto her table, looked at us and said "two" in her wee cute voice with an evil genius grin on her face.

you: what do you expect?
me: she’s 19months. How can she be mocking us?
you: I’d be mocking you too
me: you do
you: well, yeah, but I mean if you fed me ketchup to keep me quiet in the supermarket I’d mock you for that as well
me: it’s not just any ketchup
you: what difference does that make?
me: it’s organic, like most things she gets. There should be less chemicals in it. I was hoping it would suppress her evil genius genes
you: and who might she have got those off?
me: me. Obviously! Muh-ha-ha-ha
you: ha! More likeable dimwit than evil genius
me: likeable? How kind of you
you: my mistake. You’re just a dimwit.

Dec 29 2013

Sunday 29 December 2013: On yer bike

I’m fed up with being in the house by myself. I went out for a wander this arvo to try and find some company from the animals in the woods. I was hoping to find an amenable bear that I could join in hibernation. Sadly I couldn’t and try as I might I couldn’t get up the trees to join the squirrels.


I’ve had a random cocktail of supposed cold and flu medication today. I’m going to sue the manufacturers of them all.

you: nice to see you’ve cheered up a bit
me: sarcasm?
you: your snot filled head hasn’t dulled your analytical skills at least.

Dec 28 2013

Saturday 28 December 2013: Get away from me with your lurgy

Today I have slept. Coughed. And blown my nose repeatedly.

you: and that’s it?
me: that’s it
you: not left the house?
me: yes. To put the bin out.
you: the excitement never stops
me: indeed it does not.
you: it’s just that none is ever associated with you.
me: indeed.

Dec 27 2013

Friday 27 December 2013: Seven Giraffes: Williams Brothers

How can I practice tee-totalism when people keep giving me beer?

Day 3 of present unwrapping today. The size of the pile of presents under the tree was unbelievable given that we’d already been at it for 2 days.

I have spent a fair chunk of the day with my head above a pan of hot water with vicks in it, trying to clear my nose. It works. Briefly. My ear still isn’t working though and if I bend over it feels as though my head is going to explode.

All this means that I won’t be doing my second (and probably last) 5k run tomorrow, where I was intending to beat Mo Farrah’s personal best. Ach well, I guess now we’ll never know if I would have.

you: eh. Yes we do.
me: what do you do?
you: know.
me: what do you know?
you: that you wouldn’t be within 10 minutes of Mo’s time
me: and what makes you so sure?
you: well you can’t run for a start
me: there is that
you: and you’ve done no training to try and even improve on your own time
me: Fabrication! Falsehood! Outright lies!
you: ok you’ve been on the cross trainer a couple of times.
me: exactly. So like I said. I guess we’ll never know.

Dec 26 2013

Thursday 26 December 2013: Something other than Ghengis

The weather seems to have stopped working. It’s not blowing a gale and tipping down. Something must be broken.

Sunshine and barely a wind? I’ll have a bit of that! Out for a wander with Ghengis was about it for the day.

The missus’ folks arrived tonight for a few days, so tomorrow we get to have christmas part 3.

Still feel cack, am totally full of snot, and in the last couple of hours my left ear has stopped working entirely

you: maybe it’s something to do with the weather?
me: what?
you: well you said it had stopped working too
me: what?
you: your ear.
me: yes the functionality of my left ear is directly linked to the wind, that must be it.
you: thought so. You should try powering it with batteries rather than a wind generator.

Dec 25 2013

Wednesday 25 December 2013: Merry chrimbo

Ghengis must have known santa was coming last night, as she woke up a bunch of times to try and catch him out.

It was great fun opening her presents with her. While she still ended up playing with/in boxes, we’re getting closer to actual appreciation of the gifts I think. Although she certainly appreciated all the skirts she got, as each time one was unwrapped she put it on, ending up with three on at once and parading around.

Her wee bike never got a second look. Actually I’m not sure it got a first look.

We are now the house with 2 "Sheldon" t-shirt folders from The Big Bang Theory, as we bought one for each other.

We all had an afternoon nap. Could have done with it lasting about 8 hours longer

you: well I didn’t think you’d bought yourself 2
me: what?
you: t-shirt folders
me: why would I do that?
you: exactly!
me: what point are you trying to make?
you: that you pointing out that you’d each bought the other the same crappy joke gift was worthless
me: crappy joke gift?! That was the best thing we each got!

Dec 24 2013

Tuesday 24 December 2013: What’s through the slightly squarey-roundy window?

Surprise surprise it’s Ghengis.

Santa had dropped off a few presents last night so that we could could have our pre-christmas christmas with mum and dad and Jenelope and K&K&L. And a lovely day it was too.

Ghengis seems to love her new play house thing, she didn’t make a peep for at least 20 minutes as she put all the wee people into the house and kissed them before putting them into the beds. Very cute. And perhaps we should have got her some toys like this sooner if it’s going to give us a bit of peace and quiet.

Had one of the worst nights sleep of my life last night. Constant repeating nightmares and just felt awful. Felt pretty ropey when I got up but haven’t been too bad through the day thankfully. Just settling in to watch Arthur Christmas, which after 10minutes I already prefer to The Poolar Express.

And I’ve decided I’m going to go t-total. I reckon my body is normally in perfect balance: I always have a cold but my immune system keeps the upper hand. The minute I go out on the booze the cold wins and I feel like crap.

you: there’s only one thing your body is in perfect balance with
me: what?
you: a hippo
me: and a merry christmas to you too.

Dec 23 2013

Monday 23 December 2013: Found it.

Mum and dad and Jenelope arrived this arvo for our pre-christmas christmas tomorrow.

As the day has gone on I have felt progressively worse and worse.

The wrapping is now done but I didn’t even manage to finish that myself. Early to bed.

you: and a partridge in a pear tree
me: what?
you: someone has got to bring some christmas cheer to this journal
me: it’s not my fault I feel crap
you: well, actually, it probably is. And you can’t call what you do "wrapping" anyway!
me: there is paper and selotape involved. It’s wrapping

Dec 22 2013

Sunday 22 December 2013: Just what the doctor ordered.

Actually I think what he ordered was about 8hrs more kip. But it must have got lost in the christmas post.

Crashed at White Lightning’s last night, so was up and got the first train home this morning….and went back to bed. Then I was on Ghengis duty for the rest of the day which went surprisingly well despite my lack of sleep.

And that’s about all I can remember

you: I’m fairly sure the doctor doesn’t prescribe fried food
me: remember I’m in Scotland
you: ah yes, the Scottish cure for everything, a bit of grease.

Dec 21 2013

Saturday 21 December 2013: Bro-mance.

I have no idea what was happening that resulted in this photo.

It was our lads christmas day out today. We put a colossal effort in and ticked 16 more pubs off the list. That’s 13 hours of hard work. That’s a serious shift in anyones book.

It was a cracking day out. Starting with a big cooked breakfast and a pint. Followed by a vast array of other beers, some nachos, some spirits, and a round of pina coladas. First none pink cocktail I’ve ever had.

We gatecrashed a Harley Davidson owners club christmas do (by accident). Napoleon popped one of their balloons…the one tied to my wrist in a corsage style. So we left before any of the women beat us up. And he owes me an orange harley davidson balloon.

And then we ended up in a club. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. We don’t belong in clubs. They cost too much, they are too noisy, they have crap beer. I’m pretty sure our sharp sartorial statement was noticed by plenty though. I’m positive there wasn’t a single other person in there wearing a brown stripy jumper from ASDA.

The evening ended in one of those all night arcades as Oz needed the loo. We lost a few quid in the puggies as none of us know how to play them. I read some of the quality "how to make junk from other junk" stories in "Take a break" magazine to The Teacher. And to top it off I had a free party ring biscuit.

you: 16 pubs
me: aye
you: in 13 hours
me: aye
you: not a very good rate is it?
me: I wondered about that myself. I think the meal stops slowed us down
you: well you know what they say
me: eatin’s cheatin’?
you: that’s the one.
me: we’ll do better next time. I promise.

Dec 20 2013

Friday 20 December 2013: Bouncy castle

It was the toddler sensory class christmas party today. It cost us £10 extra…..but was pretty much exactly the same as ever other week! Ghengis got a present I suppose…a turd brown fish bath toy that must have cost all of 30p. And there was a tin of biscuits. For a tenner I think santa should have been there.

I’m getting fed up of this weather. It’s been too windy for too long. And looking at the forecast it is to remain this way and be at it’s worst on christmas eve. Brilliant.

you: you’re sure it’s a bath toy?
me: yes, what else would it be?
you: Mr Hanky the christmas poo?
me: have you been watching south park again?
you: hi de ho every body
me: I’ll take that as a yes.

Dec 19 2013

Thursday 19 December 2013: Happy birthday car.

10 years ago today I bailed out of a work christmas lunch early to go and pick up my shiny new rx8. I thought it a coincidence that one drove past me today on my lunchtime wander. This isn’t mine of course, as it’s the low powered 5 speed version, as indicated by the lack of headlight washers….and it’s from the wrong year.

Out for the climbing club christmas meal tonight. But I forgot to have the christmas dinner and had a curry instead. My second of the day.

Got the last bits and bobs bought for the missus christmas, so now all I have to do is wrap them all.

you: oh how interesting, you can tell which version an RX8 is by if it has headlight washers
me: that’s certainly the easiest method. Or you could…..
you: SARCASM. I couldn’t give a rats @rse which version it is, or how you tell. And it wasn’t a coincidence. It was just a car driving passed.
me: blimey you’re in some mood
you: and one last thing. It’s not a climbing club. There are two of you
me: well I wouldn’t get much climbing done if it was just me now would I!

Dec 18 2013

Wednesday 18 December 2013: To Mummy and Daddy.

This was the latest masterpiece brought home by Ghengis from nursery. They do loads of arty stuff there which I like. They also sent home a bag of "santa dust", which isn’t the hard narcotic it sounds to be, but a mixture of porridge oats and glitter. Apparently we are to sprinkle it on the lawn on christmas eve and the moon will twinkle in the glitter to show santa the way. I hope the wind dies down or Santa is never going to find us no matter how much breakfast cereal we sprinkle in the garden.

I won the competition. Yay! Thanks to everyone that voted for my photo :-)

One more day at work. Woo hoo.

you: how can you have?
me: what?
you: won?
me: I got more than half of the total cast votes
you: that’s not possible!
me: why?
you: because I’ve been sitting voting non stop on all the other photos for the last three days
me: you should have concentrated your efforts on just one.
you: I demand a recount.

Dec 17 2013

Tuesday 17 December 2013: One of each please.

Crisis talks or additional rules are required. Only 2 boozers tonight – or it would have been had Napoleon and I not run off and sneaked an extra one in. Nachos started off ok, but the cheese was a mozzarella type which is too chewy for nachos. And by the time I got to the end of them (which doesn’t take long) they were stone cold. The nacho chips though were very good. It was still one of the most soulless places I’ve been in a while though.

Met Gwak to give him some prints. Had a lunchtime meeting which I detest and in general decline by default, which also meant I missed a trip to Taste of Italy with Boab and Monochrome.

you: another interesting day in your life then
me: seems that way
you: and mozzerella is so right on a pizza, how can it be wrong on nachos
me: pizza is italian. Nachos are chinese.
you: idiot.

Dec 16 2013

Monday 16 December 2013: This way to the holidays

3 days left.

Within 5 minutes of getting home tonight Ghengis was driving me spare. She is just a wee bundle of misbehaviour at the moment. The missus certainly had a harder day than me today.

We watched the Polar Express tonight. I’m not sure I enjoyed it that much. The animation was incredible, especially considering it’s nearly 10 years old. But I don’t think a train was required. There was only one carriage of kids. They could have made do with a bus.

you: "they could have made do with a bus"?
me: aye
you: a bus?!
me: yes, a bus. It would have been much kinder on the environment.
you: wouldn’t quite have carried the same christmas romance as a train though, would it.
me: I dunno, they could have put a wee tree in the windscreen
you: anything else you want to pick fault with?
me: yeah who was the vagrant chap that rode on top of the train?
you: actually I have no idea either. But you’re still the idiot. A bus?!

ps thanks to everyone that voted in the photo comp I mentioned yesterday :-)

Dec 15 2013

Sunday 15 December 2013: A helping hand.

It seems like the missus is wrapping presents for hours every day. Which can only mean one thing….I’m in for a good haul this year. Luckily Ghengis is relatively helpful. She likes holding the paper down before it gets taped up.

Jenelope came down for the afternoon but because it was another rank day we didn’t leave the house. We just played with Ghengis and watched music videos.

My photo of the four mountain bikers at night that I blipped ages ago has got to the final round of a wee competition. So now it’s down to a public vote. If you can spare literally 10 seconds to vote for your fave the shortlist is here

you: that’s not what it means
me: what means?
you: the amount of wrapping doesn’t mean your going to get a good haul.
me: no? What does it mean then?
you: that you haven’t bought enough
me: …..oh…..I never thought of it like that….

Dec 14 2013

Saturday 14 December 2013: Lazy

Horrid day today, from start to finish, and blowing a gale for most of it. And to top it off my anemometer hasn’t been working so I don’t even have any interesting data to graph.

I bought a massive lampshade that was pretty much made to be converted to (another) beauty dish.

you: oh no! No graphs?!
me: I know. Worst. Saturday. Ever.
you: and to top it off you wasted more money on something you didn’t need
me: I do need it
you: you don’t use the one you’ve got!
me: ah but this one is bigger
you: meaning you’re even less likely to make use of it
me: well….there is that….

Dec 13 2013

Friday 13 December 2013: Your guess is as good as mine

I have no idea what Ghengis thought she was up to here. Hiding? Looking for christmas presents? Who knows. All I know is that for five minutes I couldn’t stop her going to the freezer.

She was good at toddler sensory this morning. She was happy as larry. Don’t know what was wrong with her the last couple of weeks. Or who larry is. One of the mums had on what I think would probably be described in fashion circles as a playsuit. Except it was more hot-pant-y than shorts-y. It wasn’t really what you’d expect to see at a toddler sensory class. I think it was perhaps to distract from the fact that her child seemed to be attacking all the other kids.

And that was my day. Oh, I bought a fire extinguisher. And the fuji is doing my head in as the focus is so frickin’ slow.

you: what on earth would you know about "fashion circles"
me: eh, they’re round?
you: and that would be the sum of it I’d say
me: you mean my default makita workman trousers aren’t fashionable?
you: I don’t think anything you’ve worn in the last 10 years has been fashionable
me: what about the clothes the missus buys me?
you: fair point, yeah that stuffs fine. I meant anything you’ve bought yourself
me: but….I haven’t bought…..
you: my point exactly

Dec 12 2013

Thursday 12 December 2013: I never knew.

All the years I’ve lived, worked and socialised around Lothian Road I never really paid much attention to this statue, or knew what it was for. I’m not convinced it was there when we lived 100 yards up the road, but a quick google suggests it was. All I remember about those steps is that there used to be a fountain at the bottom and Oz rode my bmx in it. It was never the same again. The bmx that is.

I can’t admit to really knowing a lot about Mr Mandela, which is a fairly poor thing to admit to. I do remember him being talked about on Blue Peter though if that counts for anything. By all accounts I would certainly put him on the good dudes list. I dare say the world is worse off without him.

I wonder what his opinion would be on what I imagine will amount to millions of pounds that have been spent on flowers and candles and scarves that have been left at little sites like this around the world. I imagine he would rather have seen it go to a good cause.

Anyway, the reason I was passing was because I was on my way to the last of the contractors leaving lunches. After 35 minutes not everyone at our table had drinks and no food order had been taken despite my repeated requests. So I left. I have little enough patience for poor service at the best of times, never mind when it’s eating in to the flextime I struggle to build up. 2 minutes later I was back in the canteen with a curry (starter and main) in front of me. The rest of them arrived back at 3. 2 and half hours to get a meal from a set menu. Terrible.

Had a strange meltdown from Ghengis tonight at tea time. She wouldn’t eat anything we gave her. She just sat howling, wanting picked up, wanting put down, wanting her spoon, not wanting her spoon. In the end all it took was one quick peek-a-boo from behind the door to make her laugh and she ate the lot without another peep. Very odd.

you: you selfish git!
me: what?
you: bailing on your colleagues leaving lunch
me: does that make me selfish?
you: yes
me: even when one of them said he would have come with me had it not been his leaving lunch
you: ok maybe not selfish. Just an impatient git.
me: I’m fine with that.

Dec 11 2013

Wednesday 11 December 2013: Seagull

The first thing I heard when I got home tonight was "oh-oh", which is Ghengis’ favourite thing to say at the moment. It usually immediately follows her tipping her food on the floor. Or throwing her crayons down so they snap. Or emptying the cat’s water bowl out. Tonight it proceeded me coming in to the room. Nice.

you: oh-oh
me: what?
you: I just knew you were about to write some drivel
me: I think drivel is a bit harsh
you: oh-oh
me: what?!
you: you’re still going
me: well aren’t you just a ball…..
you: oh-oh
me: don’t interup……
you: oh-oh

Dec 10 2013

Tuesday 10 December 2013: I beg your pardon?

A wander with Sutin at lunchtime up to the galleries. I took a self portrait that I liked which is a rarity.

Another busy night at the pub. Our geniality as hosts is getting the way of the required drink and move mentality of a Tuesday night ticking off boozers.

Ghengis’ bike arrived today. I got her a likeabike spokey mini, it looks awesome. I want to go and wake her up to get her to have a go on it.

you: geniality?
me: aye
you: you?
me: aye!
you: pull the other one.
me: ok so the geniality of the others
you: more plausible. And she’s not even two, why have you bought Ghengis a bike
me: because she doesn’t have one
you: she doesn’t have a helicopter either
me: good point……….helicopter……

Dec 9 2013

Monday 9 December 2013: Get me outta here.

I have a self imposed rule: The (any) town centre is out of bounds on weekends from late November until post christmas. I might extend this ruling to just be out of bounds full stop in the designated time frame.

Down in to town to try and find some things for the missus christmas, and while town wasn’t mobbed, it was still shopping. I went in to Urban Outfitters where every other item had f* emblazoned across it and the gangsta rap they were playing was going on about b*tches this and b*tches that. Not very christmasy. So I left. And I won’t be back.

Home and the christmas tree seems to have survived. It’s a christmas miracle.

you: I don’t think you are their target market
me: whos?
you: U.O.
me: why? because I’m not a f’n btch?
you: well no I was just thinking that you are too old
me: oh.

Dec 8 2013

Sunday 8 December 2013: Too early?

I have fairly strong opinions on a lot of things. One of these is when you should put up Christmas decorations. In my old age I have given in and they have gone up earlier than I’d like. That’s not to say they’ll last once Ghengis sees the tree in the morning.

Talking of the tree, we’ve pressed the 20+ year old monstrosity into action again. As usual it looks not too bad at all once the decorations are on it.

We’ve watched a couple of made for tv christmas movies today. I’ve enjoyed them both in an "aw that was nice in a sappy christmas kind of way". The actress in the first looked like 13 from House. We miss house. Me especially as his miserable nature made me seem positively cheery.

It’s been a totally rank day weather wise. I’ve only been outside to the bin. And the missus didn’t even change out of her pj’s. Ghengis was at over 39C again this arvo which isn’t great, but she seemed ok apart from that.

you: what else?
me: what else what?
you: do you have strong opinions on?
me: don’t you read this journal?
you: he11 no!

Dec 7 2013

Saturday 7 December 2013: Mr John and his mo

Went to mow a meadow.

MrJohn is up in Edinburgh for the weekend so I popped through to say hello. Met him and Leeanne and nearly a dozen other blippers for a bit of a blether. An enjoyable way to spend an afternoon. More enjoyable than dealing with mental Ghengis. She was a right wee whine today.

The train back was really busy so I ended up sitting on the seat near the toilet, which is never a good thing for a variety of reasons. On the journey home there were 5 people went to use the loo. Not a single one of them could work out a) how to open the door or b)how to close it. I had to tell every single one of them.

you: so you’re moving up in the world?
me: how?
you: you’ve gone from a colour-er-in-er-er to a toilet attendant
me: it would appear so
you: did any of them tip you?
me: no, but without fail they said thank you when they left
you: that’s something at least
me: I’d have rather have had cash
you: but they might not have washed their hands
me: good point….the thanks will do.

Dec 6 2013

Friday 6 December 2013: Soup nose

Certainly a few too many cocktails on top of a few too many beers last night. I didn’t get the best kip.

Took Ghengis to toddler sensory where again she wouldn’t take her jacket off, but at least this week she was happy to run about and play. She had a two hour kip at lunchtime, and for the rest of the afternoon we just played. I think I got off lightly.

My new lens arrived today for the fuji. 35mm f1.4. And so far it’s lovely.

The recession seems have hit again. 2 weeks in a row I’ve had to suffer the indignity of eating rump steak rather than fillet for my tea. How long do I have to put up with this?

you: oh the hardship
me: I know. Shocking eh
you: shut up you moron.
me: and tesco finest kettle chips rather than branded!
you: you are a total tosspot sometimes

Dec 5 2013

Thursday 5 December 2013: Yes. It’s pink. Don’t judge me.

Out with the "no stripes" crew tonight. It’s been quite a while since I was out with them and it was thoroughly enjoyable. I had nachos (henricks nachos no less), I had beer, and I had pink cocktails. What’s not to like? And now I am home with the dawning realisation that it’s not a day in the office I have with a hangover tomorrow….it’s a day with Ghengis. I lose. But then again I win too.

It was a wild night last night. I got the only train that ran this morning. As I arrived at my destination station the entire scottish rail network was closed off. I suspected this was just Alex Salmond realising he’s going to lose the devolution vote, and deciding to try and cordon Scotland off early. But he was obviously overpowered as the network opened up again later in the day. Bit of a wander up to the museum with Sutin at lunchtime, but the roof was closed. And it was baltic too. As we turned back it started to snow.

you: ehhhh.
me: what?
you: was that you making a political comment?
me: about nachos? I don’t think so.
you: no about the devolution vote
me: I don’t think so
you:are you sane?
me: I don’t think….hang on a minute
you: how many pink cocktails did you have?
me: I don’t think so.
you: I’ll just leave you to your drunken rambling
me: £4.40 for a taxi home from the station. When I were a lad it was £3.30….

Dec 4 2013

Wednesday 4 December 2013: The new town.

Wax jacket? Check. Beret/Bunnet? Check. Country boots? Check. Dug? Check. Must be the new town.

Just a quick wander down to the Dean Bridge and back today, it was pretty nippy.

I realised that the tivo was 97% full so passed up on the half hour of exercise I had planned to watch some tv to clear some space instead. The sacrifices I make.

you: Country boots?
me: well, I dunno what you call them do I
you: apparently not
me: what are they then?
you: how the frick would I know. I’m pretty sure they’re not "country boots" though.
me: well until you come up with a better suggestion they will remain as country boots.
you: anyway, it’s just a woman with a dug. It could be any street in any town
me: Except it’s in edinburgh’s New Town. Hence: The new town.

Dec 3 2013

Tuesday 3 December 2013: Romantic dinner for two

After last weeks massive turnout for Tuesday beers, tonight it started out as 3, then Oz went home feeling ropey, leaving Napoleon and I to have a nice candle-lit meal for two….until the Chemist turned up and ruined the mood.

It was a good burger too, at "Jakes Place". Right on the £10 threshold it was pretty tasty. Perhaps not quite up to last weeks at the Cuckoo’s nest.

My new camera let me down again today. I was sure the battery wasn’t flat, but it just wouldn’t turn on. Home and put in what I thought was a fresh battery and it still wouldn’t turn on. It’s come on now, but I can’t have it potentially failing on me when I need it. A bit frustrating really.

you: the camera didn’t let you down yesterday
me: yes it did!
you: no. You forgot to put a memory card in
me: yeah but the camera could have had a proximity based audible alert to let me know I was leaving home with no memory card
you: ah yes, I see, the camera let you down
me: exactly
you: idiot.

Dec 2 2013

Monday 2 December 2013: Historically inaccurate.

I’m pretty sure that the Titanic didn’t sink as a result of striking a Great British Bus (mint in box).

Headed out for a lunchtime wander with Sutin. Took a photo only to be informed I had no memory card in the camera. Doh. So to cheer myself up I had a pulled pork roll from Oink, it was pretty good. Getting close to being worth the £3.80 asking price. Not quite there though. The crackling was delicious.

The RX8 went for it’s MOT today. The garage never rang and I couldn’t get hold of them. Which leads me to think that I gave the wrong mobile number and as a result they have called someone else who has gone and paid for the MOT and stolen my car.

you: you know what crackling is right?
me: yeah it’s just like a big frazzle. Really tasty
you: it’s pig skin.
me: hahah. Yeah. You had me going for a minute there
you: No. It is pig skin.
me: euch that’s gross. Why would they sell that?!
you: what else was on the roll?
me: haggis
you: and you know what that is because I told you last time
me: oh jeez I really need to think less about what I eat
you: you mean think more.
me: no. I mean think less.
you: And don’t you think if the garage phoned the wrong person they’d just say "sorry you’ve got the wrong number" rather than stealing your car?
me: what kind of dream world do you live in? It’s a big nasty evil world out there.

Dec 1 2013

Sunday 1 December 2013: Wander

To give us a better chance of a decent walk Dad and I headed out without Ghengis this morning, she went shopping with the missus and mum. We had the new binoculars I’d bought dad with us, they are ace, reckon I might accidentally buy some for me. All we really saw wildlife wise though was a herd of long tailed tits.

A pot of soup, some playing with Ghengis, and some trying to sort the missus pc out so she can get addicted to The Sims again, and that’s it, mini holiday over.

you: a herd?
me: yeah there were maybe a dozen of them. They seemed to have a knack of sticking to the shadows though
you: a herd?
me: I heard you the last time. Yes. A herd.
you: are you sure you weren’t looking at cows?
me: oh, hang on, yeah that was it. There was a swarm of long tailed tits too though.
you: a swarm? Idiot.