Nov 30 2013

Saturday 30 November 2013: The long road home

Another kids portrait session today. The wee laddie is a bit older so was good as gold. The wee lass was fine once she got over her initial temper/shyness tantrum. Ghengis sat and ate raisins.

Dad arrived this arvo too so we took Ghengis out a walk up the woods. No matter what direction you try and go, whether it’s uphill or downhill, left or right, you can guarantee 100% that Ghengis wants to go the other way. Then we went down to the helix to show dad the Kelpies, which officially opened during the week. What a freakin’ joke. The place is a building site still, and the access path from the carpark is closed, with no signs to indicate this will be the case until you’ve walked for 10 minutes. I’m so annoyed I might even write to the paper.

Mum arrived later on having been through to town to see a show.

Anyway, back to the letter writing:

Dear Sir…..

you: NOOOooooooo!
me: what?
you: it’s bad enough having you moan daily on here, don’t try and infiltrate the printed media too
me: I think I will
you: you know that today’s news is tomorrows fish supper wrapper
me: oh, that’s another thing. I couldn’t face the usual 40 minute round trip to the chippy, so went to a closer one.
you: and?
me: other than location and a working card machine it was inferior in every way.
you: why don’t you write to the paper about that too?
me: I think I will.

Dear Sir…..


Nov 29 2013

Friday 29 November 2013: Mechanic

"Someones stolen the engine mate, that’s the problem! It’s gonna cost you"

For some reason Ghengis was determined she could fit in the storage space of her wee car. She tried for about 5 minutes!

Had a bairns photo session this morning. It was marginally easier than with the same nippers when I did them for them last year. My ploy to have a wee slideshow of kids tv characters to use as a quiz/distraction worked for about 100th of the time it took me to put together.

Then I took Ghengis to her toddler sensory class. The wee chook was a bit out of sorts. She wouldn’t take one arm out of her jacket and just sat on my knee, occasionally going and getting her shoes to be put back on or going to the door and trying to leave. She joined in a bit eventually. She was good fun to play with in the afternoon though.

Just watched the final of Oz Masterchef. We’ve been watching it almost every night since the middle of September, so that’s 45mins a night we have back. The last pressure test was rubbish!

you: what are you going to do with it?
me: with what?
you: your new found 45mins a night
me: eh
you: something productive?
me: like what?
you: sorting through the massive backlog of photos?
me: eh…
you: you’re going to fill it with more junk tv
me: eh…
you: just say yes and be done with it.
me: yes.


Nov 28 2013

Thursday 28 November 2013: Twice in one day

Bit of a special sky tonight, job done.

We didn’t make it to see Gravity. The free tickets we get through the private healthcare (bit of a strange tie-up I reckon) don’t stretch to 3d films. So we went to the Alpha Papa instead. We both love Alan Partridge, but it was just ok, not as good as some of the tv episodes.

Then tonight I went to see this years Warren Miller ski film with Steven. Pretty awesome again. Great soundtrack, incredible scenery, and some incredibly skilled sports people.

So having not been to the cinema since last years Warren Miller, today I went twice.

you: liar!
me: am not!
you: are too
me: why?
you: because you went to see the hobbit on your hot date
me: oh aye, I forgot about that
you: I’m sure he’ll be glad to know it was so memorable
me: Peter Jackson
you: The Teacher.
me: well maybe he’ll up his game for this years instalment.


Nov 27 2013

Wednesday 27 November 2013: Nice set of knockers.

And they were. Delightful. But the look I got from the missus suggested I was all of a sudden in the bad books. It was an innocent statement! There wasn’t a buxom sales assistant in the window or anything. Honest guvnor.

We dropped Ghengis in nursery this morning and headed up to Perth. I felt slightly guilty. But not so guilty that we won’t be doing it again tomorrow.

We like Perth. It seems like a nice wee town. I like that it seems to have a lot of wee independent shops left. And as far as department stores go I quite like McEwens. They had nice christmas decorations up.

It’s "Ice Week" up there this week. They have ice sculptures out on the streets around town. I felt sorry for them (the organisers not the ice sculptures). It was 11C today. The ice sculptures were more like puddles. They were one week out, last week was baltic.

you: you cold hearted monster!
me: what?
you: dropping Ghengis at nursery and then going on a jolly!
me: nursery is pre-paid though. It would be a shame to waste it.
you: that’s your excuse and you’re sticking to it?
me: yup. We might go to the cinema tomorrow. We’ve not been since she was born
you: you barely went before she was born either!
me: that’s beside the point. Not going and not being able to go are two entirely different things
you: monster.


Nov 26 2013

Tuesday 26 November 2013: The shame.

I’d be embarrassed too if I was drinking beer that came in a wine glass. Napoleon claimed it was because it was so strong. I think he just wanted it to look girly.

Quite a crowd out for our Tuesday beers. I think the size of the burger order cause a few issues in the kitchen as it took a while. Great burgers when they arrived though. The cuckoo’s nest.

Two of tonights extras were Napoleon’s sister and bro in law. They were just back from months of travelling. 4 months of which was travelling pretty much the length of Africa. Sounded pretty awesome.

you: seriously?
me: what?
you: you’re having a go at Napoleon for drinking beer out of a none pint pot
me: too right!
you: this coming from the man that only drinks pink cocktails
me: aye when I’m not drinking full pints of beer though
you: still pink cocktails
me: He made up for it later by getting a smoked german beer, that was quite manly I suppose
you: smoked beer?
me: aye, it prompted a comment something along the lines of "no I don’t want a pint of bacon, thanks". Which was quite accurate.
you: mmm, a pint of bacon.


Nov 25 2013

Monday 25 November 2013: Tree

Some big flippin’ wheel got in the way of my tree blip.

Met JJ for a bit of lunch and a wander along to the german market. I think that the season of meeting folk for lunch has started. Not good for the wallet or the waistline.

One more day at work and I’ve got a few days off. I shall survive.

you: off….
me: don’t say it
you: ….on holiday….
me: I said don’t say it
you: again?!
me: yes.
you: how can that be?!
me: it just is.
you: and why has your photo fallen on it’s side?
me: I prefer it that way.


Nov 24 2013

Sunday 24 November 2013: Secret sauna?

Ghengis sleeps from 7-7. That’s what she does. Except today when it was my shot to have a lie in, when she slept from 7-9, meaning we both got a lie in. I feel like I’ve been done.

The bro in law and his lass came round and we went out for a bit of lunch, then for a wander in the helix. It was pretty cold, a statement validated by the fact the boating lake was frozen over.

I tried all of the secret knocks I know to get through this door. All to no avail.

I’ve just done a run to tesco to pick up some berocca (or a cheap copy of) and echinacia. I feel on the verge of rotten.

you: how many secret knocks do you know?
me: loads
you: like?
me: if I told you they wouldn’t be secret. But there’s one that’s been de-classified I can probably tell you
you: I don’t know why, but I’ll indulge you: go on.
me: ok but don’t spread it around too much
you: get on with it
me: knock knock knock-knock knock <pause> knock knock
you: that’s just a generic commonly used door knock.
me: oh.


Nov 23 2013

Saturday 23 November 2013: Fence

She’s been quite hard work again today. But stood in the light coming through the fence (hence the wonky lighting) she looked like butter wouldn’t melt. She still had a good few moments of niceness, giving us cuddles out of the blue.

The missus is full of the cold….again….so we didn’t get out of the house, other than Ghengis and I going for a walk in the sunshine. She fell asleep. I didn’t. When she had her lunchtime nap we managed 2 episodes of Big Bang Theory and 2 of Parks and Recreation. For a fleeting moment it was like the old days when if we felt like it we would do nothing all day but watch episode after episode of whatever the tv show of choice was. Then Ghengis woke up.

Just watched the 50th anniversary Dr Who, and I rather enjoyed it. I did much better than I managed through most of the last series, in that I didn’t fall asleep half way through

you: oh yeah it was good eh
me: yeah it was pretty enjoyable
you: but you know what I wanted to be under those sheets in the museum?
me: the weeping angels?
you: exactly!
me: are we on the same page for once?
you: I doubt it
me: why?
you: because I’m a snazzy modern kindle.
me: and I am?
you: a dog-eared paperback that’s been on the charity shop circuit for the last 30 years.


Nov 22 2013

Friday 22 November 2013: Frosty hole.

So that’s it. What most certainly was a series is finished. I didn’t get a photo of Ghengis today that I was happy to use to continue it.

She’s been a bit hard work today. She was pretty good at toddler sense class in the morning . Today they wrote letters to santa, and posted them. But it went downhill from there. She is always grabbing my finger (not in a fun "pull my finger" kid of way) and dragging me to the kitchen. She just wants snacks all the time but won’t eat her proper meals. At least I wasn’t ‘worst person on earth’ as it seemed I was yesterday though.

Tonight I fell asleep on the couch. Day done.

you: hurrah! Get out the bunting
me: why?
you: cause your stupid "photograph randoms and call it a series is finished
me: why does that make you so happy?
you: because now we can get back to the good….. oh hang on a minute
me: what were you going to say?
you: get back to the good photos.
me: so why did you stop
you: because what I should have said was get back to the random crap.


Nov 21 2013

Thursday 21 November 2013: Look behind you.

Good climb tonight. I say I good climb, what I really mean is I am knackered, and I climbed well enough for someone that doesn’t climb as often as is required to maintain any real level of ability.

Sent the form off to get my new lens. Oooh I’m excited. Cannae wait.

The moon is super bright tonight and the stars look awesome. I was tempted to get the telescope out when I got back….but it’s baltic.

Ghengis would have barely anything to do with me tonight. She’s been a right wee mummy’s girl since she was poorly last week. I wasn’t even allowed to turn the pages of her book tonight. She did give me a big cheery wave as I left to go climbing though.

you: glad to see the back of you no doubt.
me: the thought did cross my mind
you: still, you’ve got tomorrow with her eh
me: yup
you: what if she’s a nightmare
me: don’t say that
you: and she won’t do anything you ask her
me: ok you can stop now
you: and she screams blue murder whenever you try to pick her up
me: that’s enough, it’s the naughty corner for you.
you: yeah, good luck with that one.


Nov 20 2013

Wednesday 20 November 2013: Look down.

Other down.

Baltic on my lunchtime wander. At least I got my series finished. Pretty cold in the garage tonight too. 30mins on the cross trainer. I am training for my next run by not running.

The wind is picking up, I think there are to be gales tonight.

The missus put Ghengis’ hair in bunches tonight, she looked as cute as a button.

you: I told you the other day it’s not a series
me: of course it is.
you: it’s not!
me: 4 photos in a row with a consistent theme is a series
you: 4 crappy snapshots in a row is just lazy blipping
me: hey, whatever gets me through.


Nov 19 2013

Tuesday 19 November 2013: Look up.

Other up. Towards the sky.

An ok burger at element tonight. It’s a boozer we have been avoiding on the tour but tonight we bit the bullet. And it was fine. Beers were priced reasonably, the burger was well below the £10 threshold, and we recognised the barman. He used to work in the 52 canoes and has a good bit of banter.

The first pub we went in to though had me raging before I even went in. I was contemplating using my one veto of the tour on it. There is nothing on the outside to indicate it is a boozer. In fact it’s done up like a barbers. Which is why I was stood outside trying to phone everyone to find out where the frick we were going. Apparently it’s to make it like a prohibition speakeasy. I thought it was dumb. And beer was £4.25 a pint. Too much. Too silly. But to be fair it might be quite a nice boozer to just sit and have a blether.

you: surely that’s the point?
me: of what?
you: a boozer
me: what about it?
you: somewhere nice to just sit and have a blether
me: but no one will know it’s a boozer
you: but it’s got you talking about it
me: saying how annoyed it made me
you: no publicity is bad publicity.
me: but I haven’t even mentioned what it was called
you: what was it called?
me: Panda and Sons.
you: you have now.
me: damnit!


Nov 18 2013

Monday 18 November 2013: Look right.

Other right. My right.

you: IT’S NOT A SERIES!
me: It’s 2 in a row. It’s a series. Anyway, let me get back to today’s writeup.

Opened the Scotland on Sunday lifestyle magazine yesterday and lo and behold there is 2 page spread of my garden! Not my garden obviously as it’s just a big rectangle of grass with no plants. But mum and dad’s garden. The garden I painstakingly mowed the lawn of for years on end. And there they are, taking all the credit for it’s awesomeness. Unbelievable. What’s also unbelievable are the photos. They are freakin’ rubbish. There are much better ones on his website.

you: eh it looks like there is substantially more there than just a lawn
me: yeah but the lawn is the focal point obviously
you: yeah you’re probably right….. Idiot.


Nov 17 2013

Sunday 17 November 2013: Look left.

Other left. My left.

Woke up with surprisingly few aches and pains after yesterdays activities which was a pleasant surprise.

Out for a wander this morning. Then out for lunch this arvo to Cooks. And the place annoyed me again. The food is really nice, but the service is guff. Our empty plates sat for about 20mins. No asking if we wanted more drinks even though my glass was empty from about 5 minutes after it’s arrival. Things like that. Poor.

Got the winter wheels put on the car tonight.

And now I feel like I am starting to seize up.

you: you know what the cause of that is don’t you?
me: what?
you: the seizing up.
me: what might that be?
you: two things. Old age, and stupidity.
me: fair enough the former, but why the latter?
you: just because.


Nov 16 2013

Saturday 16 November 2013: Zombies! RUN!

I went for a nice quiet walk in the park this morning. Everyone seemed to be running, so fearing the zombie apocalypse had arrived I started to run too.

Alternatively, Woody wanted to do the local Park Run as part of his training. Somehow he talked me in to joining in. I have never run any real distance in my life, never mind 5km.

I managed to run the entire way even though it was hilly which I was quite pleased with as I’ve never been any good at running. And did it in 25min 36seconds. The only problem is that now I have an official time for something it means I have to try and beat it.

Anyway, the upshot of all this is that Woody isn’t getting invited back.

Then we all went through to the zoo. And I now have a new favourite. The Gelda Baboon. Which somehow we had missed on every other visit. There were wee babies playing around, the boss man looked awesome, and there was one doing gymnast style backflips, they were ace.

you: did you hop round?
me: no I ran
you: sure you didn’t skip like a little girl?
me: much as I think I would enjoy skipping for 5km, no, I ran
you: are you sure
me: yes, why?
you: because the first time I ever ran 5km I did it in sub 20mins.
me: you would
you: and I can do better backflips than a Gelada Baboon too.


Nov 15 2013

Friday 15 November 2013: Seedy

Out for a wander with Ghengis on what was a pretty dull and miserable day. She is still a bit under the weather so I didn’t take her to toddler sensory class. No doubt this was the one week where they did something a bit different.

Because she’s under the weather she’s not eating properly. The amount of food going to waste as we try one thing after another to tempt her is shameful, especially on Children in Need day.

Em and Woody arrive tonight for the weekend. The missus has spent half the day tidying the house.

you: are you ill too?
me: nope.
you: so why is the food going to waste?
me: because it’s all packet mank we are trying as she will often eat that when nothing else meets her requirements
you: you could still eat that
me: I can’t. I’ve tried it a number of times. It’s just rank.
you: and I notice you said "the missus" has spent most of the day tidying up. Why weren’t you helping?
me: someone’s got to look after Ghengis
you: a fine excuse. Now get donating.


Nov 14 2013

Thursday 14 November 2013: From Amsterdam

Ghengis still had a bit of a temperature this morning so I hung around to see how she was going to be. She was dancing and playing away not quite as usual, but not far off it, so I headed in late to work.

Then I had a long lunch for Shrikant’s leaving do.

Then I got called effeminate. That amused me.

Then I came home.

What an exciting day. Neither Steven or I feel up to climbing so we’re not. I have to get back in to the habit of doing some form of exercise. Any will do. But I’m just finding it so hard.

you: well you are
me: what?
you: effeminate
me: in what way?!
you: you get yer nails done
me: no I don’t!
you: you carry a man bag
me: I haven’t done for years!
you: you watch strictly
me: ok I’ll give you that one
you: one’s all it takes. You’ll be starring in Ladyboys of Bangkok next year
me: but I’m from Falkirk.
you: guest appearance then
me: ooh I’m going to need a new frock


Nov 13 2013

Wednesday 13 November 2013: Didn’t expect to be here tonight

When I spoke to the missus this afternoon she said the staff at nursery had found Ghengis sitting in the corner with tears rolling down her face but not crying. That made me sad.

She had a bit of a fever going on (39.3) and of course I turned to google to check what sort of temp range was ok for bairns. Alongside the fever info the NHS site mentioned symptoms of meningitis, one of which was mottled skin….which Ghengis had. So I phoned nhs 24 just for peace of mind really….and ten minutes later we had an appointment at the out of hours at the hospital. When we arrived there the wee chook projectile vomited all over the missus. I think that was literally the first time she has ever been sick so that just added to the concern.

Anyway, she’s awright, a fever and possibly an ear infection. A case of too much information easily available to us I think. I don’t like her being unwell though. I reckon I’ve got a tough 70 years or so of fatherhood ahead. I can’t imagine how hard it is for parents that have a properly ill kid.

you: aw, poor wee cookie
me: thanks, nice of you to think of me
you: I meant Ghengis ya moron!
me: oh. Still thanks.
you: and 70 years of fatherhood?
me: yeah
you: that would make you 106
me: yeah I should just about be in my prime then I reckon
you: your prime is well and truly past.


Nov 12 2013

Tuesday 12 November 2013: One small step for man….

….one giant out of focus area. Close to what I was going for, but not quite.

Got the best welcome home I’ve had in ages tonight. Ghengis came flying out of her playroom and did her exited tippy-toe squealy dance before running to me to give me a cuddle. Awesome.

Jenelope had done a grand job of looking after her. The wee monkey had been as good as gold (Ghengis, not Jenelope). Poor wee chook has a right cold at the moment. Poor wee chook. (see previous brackets).

Took the new camera back to the shop today to complain about the battery and see if they’d replace it. They refunded me £30 which was fair enough, new battery bought for £9 and the rest will nearly cover the memory card I bought the other day. The purchase that keeps on giving.

you: if you were going for rubbish then you hit the nail on the head
me: no I just wanted the focus point about a foot further in
you: it would still have been rubbish. And have you signed her up to the circus yet?
me: who?
you: Ghengis
me: why would I?
you: you just claimed she could fly a minute ago. That’s got to be worth a bob or two.


Nov 11 2013

Monday 11 November 2013: Adventures

The missus was at a conference today so I had the day off to look after Ghengis. And it was ace. She’s awesome. We did a bit of dancing. We used her trolley as a go cart and raced around the house (she’s pretty good at dealing with oversteer). We emptied and filled the ball pool a few times. That sort of thing.

In the afternoon we went in search of a waterfall. We found one beauty in a $hit location. And one that was more a section of rapids. We didn’t find the one we went in search of, so all I photographed was this crappy wee thing. But I liked the orange of the oxidised whatever and the orange of the leaves.

A quick visit to tesco where she pointed and said "wha-sees" at virtually every thing on the shelves. Then home

Jenelope has arrived now as she is on Ghengis duty tomorrow. Not sure how the missus has got on, she’s out for some fancy dinner now, while I ate baby food leftovers.

you: but you know there was one there
me: one what?
you: a photogenic waterfall
me: that’s what this is
you: no, that’s a drain
me: I’ve just googled, and the one I went for was the one in the crappy location
you: so why didn’t you photograph it
me: because thanks to lottery funding it is now surrounded by safety barriers.
you: curse those pesky do-gooders
me: exactly…. it was a nicely maintained path though
you: well you can’t have it all ya moaning git.


Nov 10 2013

Sunday 10 November 2013: Juice time

Blue skies all day today. The downside of having glorious sunshine is that it shows up how dirty your windows are. Something had to be done about it. So we went out so we couldn’t see them. A thrilling trip to the new aldi in town. They didn’t have the DIY tool I was after, I misread the pamphlet, it’s not in till Thursday.

When we got home the windows were still filthy. So we went out again. To take Ghengis to the park. Then this afternoon we have done another batch of cooking for her.

Part one of my underfloor temperature experiment is complete. It’s amazing how steady the temperature down there has stayed over 2 weeks. Now I’ve blocked off most of the airbricks so we’ll see if the temperature changes any.

you: the highlight of your day was going to aldi?
me: I’m not sure it was the highlight exactly. But it’s one of the things we did.
you: you must tell us more about your under floor temperature experiment, it sounds enthralling
me: well….
you: sarcasm!


Nov 9 2013

Saturday 9 November 2013: Fire at the disco.

My favourite local tree has finally turned it’s autumn colours.

KK&L were down today. Ghengis doesn’t interact with other kids much yet but L is different. How or why she knows she’s different I have no idea. She was trying to take her hand to take her to show her toys. And she wouldn’t stop trying to give her cuddles. To the point I think L was considering a restraining order.

Out to collect the usual chippy and the car was already frozen up. It’s gonna be a cold one. Reckon it might be time to dig out the pj’s again.

you: I don’t want to know what the current alternative is
me: current alternative to what?
you: pj’s
me: oh I just sleep in the…..
you: la-la-la-la-la. I said I didn’t want to know


Nov 8 2013

Friday 8 November 2013: Monkey Island.

Ghengis has these crazy curls in her hair. Every time I see them they remind me of the clouds in Monkey Island.

Toddler sensory class was cancelled today because the bloke that runs it locked himself out of the hall. I didn’t notice the missed call from him in time so ended up arriving at a locked and deserted hall. Went for a bit of a wander in town and saw two of the other mums from the class so said hello to them

First time I went to town I forgot to take the "you weren’t in" card with me to collect a parcel from the post office. Second time I forgot to take id that they would accept. So I didn’t get the parcel.

Went to the cryogenic clinic today. It wasn’t all that I hoped for. I was expecting to be frozen solid a-la Han Solo, and woken at a point in the future when verucas had been eradicated. Sadly not. It was just some liquid nitrogen on my foot.

you: other mums?
me: yeah some of the other mums from the toddler sensory class
you: other mums?
me/b]: yes! What?!
you: the use of the adjective "other" suggests you think of yourself as a mum
me: only on a friday.
you: oh that’s ok then. So after the class you go and get your nails and hair done?
me: only every other week


Nov 7 2013

Thursday 7 November 2013: Fish, chips, kebabs, burgers and much more.

An icy start to the day again. Yesterday was almost my first fall off the bike. I realised I was on black ice at the usual falling off spot too late. It’s on a bend, but I knew if I tried to turn I was a goner, so I just went straight on and off into the weeds. Better than falling. This morning someone just ahead of me fell off at exactly the same spot. Gave me good warning that there was ice though.

Met Monochrome for a wander at lunchtime. The wind was a biter. Back to work via greggs, and a bakewell tart.

Another implementation tonight. I ran for it the second we were given the all clear, giving me just under 4 minutes to get to the station. For 3 and half of those minutes it rained like I’ve never seen rain before. And because of that there were loads of folk stood sheltering on the stairs in the station. And because of that I missed my train by about 5 seconds. And because of that I was wet, out of breath, and annoyed. Well the last one is just a default so I can’t blame the weather and missed train for that. And it seems that those that I left at work were there for another half hour, which I feel slightly guilty about. I hope it was nothing I did wrong

you: quitter
me: what?
you: why didn’t you wait until everyone else got away?
me: because I was given the all clear so I thought that was us done
you: deserter
me: but…
you: but nothing. I bet it was all your fault they had to wait half an hour
me: leave me alone!


Nov 6 2013

Wednesday 6 November 2013: Get your hand out…..

…of the beans. Get your hand out of your fruit pot. Jeez the double exposure mode on the new camera just shows up Ghengis as being twice as messy.

Based on MrJohn and Honined’s seemingly never ending supply of willing street portraiture subjects I decided to give it a go. Fail. I was chatting to the lady that maintains the flower gardens in the graveyard for a while, just talking about the flowers and how often I was through and took photos of them. Asked if she’d mind if I took her portrait in amongst her flowers. Yes, she would mind. So that’s it for another few years before I pluck up the courage to ask someone else.

you: oh no
me: what?
you: yer stupid new camera has a stupid gimmicky mode on it
me: neither are stupid
you: eh, yes they are.
me: even if they were, what’s wrong with that?
you: this is all we’re going to get for weeks on end. Crappy double exposure photos
me: one mans crappy double exposure photo is another mans artistic interpretation of the world around them
you: let’s be honest though, you’re shots are only ever going to fall into the former category
me: probably. But I might strike gold one day.
you: just don’t put us through all the other days please.


Nov 5 2013

Tuesday 5 November 2013: Where did it all go?

I bought a new camera today. Whoops. I met Sutin as he was going to loan me is fuji x100 for a day or two to see how I got on with it. He then changed his mind, frog marched me to John Lewis and forced me to buy a new camera instead. He had a gun. What else could I do?

Not had much chance to have a play around with it, but so far I’m liking it. I had been in the market for something pocketable, under 400quid, and with a decent sized sensor. 1 out of 3 isn’t too bad?

We got talking to the barmanboy tonight and were telling him of our latest pub tour, which he thought sounded great. Then he told us of the pub crawl he’d gone on the week before. Seven of them had gone out, all skint as pay day was just coming up, so they called Wonga for a £400 instant loan for the kitty. Classic! Thank goodness wonga and the like weren’t around in our day or The Teacher would have been paying off nights out for the rest of his life!

A £12 burger tonight at the living room. Good. But not £12 good. Had it been a tenner it would have been up there on my "favourite burgers under £10" list.

you: he didn’t, did he?
me: what?
you: have a gun
me: well, no. But it was a deal too good to turn down
you: except you could have.
me: perhaps should have.
you: and your list would have been wrong
me: why?
you: a burger costing £10 doesn’t belong on a "burgers under £10 list"
me: ok I’ll start a new list. Burgers costing £10 exactly
you: better.


Nov 4 2013

Monday 4 November 2013: Spotlight

Another cracking autumnal day. Though the cycle path and road were icy this morning so it was a bit of a cautious cycle. Oh, and noticed yesterday that the hills are white already.

Flu jab tonight.

And to top off the excitement I invented a new yoghurt based drink. I think I could take "Yop" out as the market leader. Take one Yeo Valley Greek style yoghurt with honey, add a generous glug of glayva. Stir. Enjoy

you: alcoholic yoghurt?
me: that’s right. Go on. You can say it. I’m a?
you: idiot?
me: I was thinking more along the lines of genius.
you: In what alternate reality do you abide, where me saying that you are a genius is ever likely to happen
me: hmm, true. I think I’ll go have some more pudding
you: so in reality this is just a new way of masking your alcohol intake, by hiding it in yoghurt?
me: No! Now where’s the vodka, pretty sure it would go well with strawberry petit filous


Nov 3 2013

Sunday 3 November 2013: Check out my moonwalk

Went down to Callendar Park for a wander this morning with the missus and Jenelope and Ghengis. It was a lovely sunny morning. There were folk doing some sort of boot camp workout, I was quite tempted to find out more about it and perhaps see about joining.

I was getting frustrated with Ghengis’ lack of/non existent vocabulary today. As she was running off on one of her many massively important activities I shouted after her "Ghengis come on chook, can you not just say a few words? Anything?" at which point she stopped in her tracks, turned round, looked me square in the face and said "No". That was me told. Then she ran off again.

Apart from that I have spent the entire day agonising over a new camera purchase (first world problem to the max). I have my eye on a few things. A variety of fuji gear. Agghhh.

you: but you didn’t did you?
me: what?
you: find out a bit more about the boot camp training
me: I did say "quite" tempted. And "perhaps" see about joining in
you: so basically you may as well have not bothered mentioning it
me: I suppose I got some exercise from typing about it
you: something that seems to be distinctly lacking from you at the moment
me: typing?
you: exercise! Lard @ss


Nov 2 2013

Saturday 2 November 2013: A change is as good as….

….a heart attack. Decided to forego the usual fish and chips for tea tonight, opting for a spicy haggis supper instead. And it was delicious.

Bit of a grim day weatherwise, meaning we only left the house for an hour to pop to the shops and that was all. Jenelope is down now and we’re just gonna watch a bit of telly

Hadn’t set an alarm for this morning. So what time did Ghengis wake us up? 7? Nope. 6? Nope. 5:30? Nope. 8. Awesome.

you: you know what’s in it right?
me: what?
you: haggis
me: I prefer not to think about it
you: it’s made with….
me: la-la-la-la-la-la
you: and some……
me: la-la-la-la-la
you: and then finally all wrapped up in….
me: la-la-la-la-la I can’t hear you.


Nov 1 2013

Friday 1 November 2013: Pumpkin

For a lot of today Ghengis has had her pumpkin costume on. It was the toddler sensory halloween party. Which meant it was the same as…..ach I’m not going through that again, just read last friday’s. Anyway, they had said to take the kids in fancy dress, and the adults could dress up too if they wanted. Blimey I’m glad I didn’t don my Hulk Hogan costume, no one else had dressed up.

Finally made it back to the docs to get the results of my hip xray……holy crap that was in May. Anyway, there’s nowt wrong with the bones so that’s good. Just need to work out why they are so frickin’ sore sometimes.

you: so lets go through this again
me: what?
you: the reason you are glad you didn’t put on your Hulk Hogan outfit is because none of the other adults dressed up?
me: spot on.
you: the fact you would have been attending a childrens party in a pair of yellow pants, a dodgy fake moustache and a blonde wig didn’t concern you at all?
me: they’re not pants, they are proper wrestling trunks
you: sorry, sorry, yes you’re right, that makes all the difference
me: sure does
you: you would have been arrested you freakin’ idiot!