Oct 31 2013

Thursday 31 October 2013: Happy halloween

A half day conference this morning. As is often the case it wasn’t as bad as predicted. It must have cost a packet. All of the IT area I am in was there. That’s 600 odd people.

Climb tonight. We headed through to Stirling, first time we’ve been there in a while. And once again while on first glance it’s a tiny wall, we were still tired by the end.

you: ooh spooky
me: if you wan’t spooky go and pay davidd a visit
you: well would you look at that, someone that still puts a but of effort in to their blips, rather than blipping the bairn’s shoes.
me: this isn’t the shot it was going for. It didn’t work out.
you: was it going to be a spooky shot?
me: no
you: did it involve much more effort?
me: not really
you: then it was still worthless. And how did your work manage to find 600 odd people. I know yer in IT and that being odd is a pre-requisite. But 600?
me: I meant ‘or so’.
you: then you should have made that clear.


Oct 30 2013

Wednesday 30 October 2013: That didn’t last long.

One day out and about with the camera, that’s all I managed. I didn’t get out at lunchtime today. I had a 3 hour meeting. I don’t belong in such things.

I have got hold of a few drawing books and I am practicing using the tablet with them. It’s surprisingly difficult to even draw a straight line! I think I have a lot of learning to do.

you: but did you pee the bed last night?
me: no, and I told you, I didn’t pee the bed the night before either
you: so you are sticking to your story that it was Ghengis
me: it was!
you: well I have to at least give you credit for picking a story and sticking to it.


Oct 29 2013

Tuesday 29 October 2013: Room for a wee one?

Out for a lunchtime wander with Sutin today. It was a lovely autumnal afternoon. Blue skies buts bit of a chill in the wind.

Tonight was a classic example of when bare bum running goes bad. After her bath we have been letting Ghengis run around in the buff. It’s funny seeing her wee bare bum running around. But tonight it all went wrong. Rather than bouncing on the bed and squealing with delight as she normally does, she pee’d on it.

This entire blip has been written with my graphics tablet. Anyone that has ever seen my handwriting will realise that this is a feat of technology more impressive than putting a man on The Moon. It’s taken a while, but I’m impressed.

you: This all sounds like an excuse to me
me: what?
you: Ghengis bare bum running post bath.
me: what would it be an excuse for?
you: eh…. lets see. You wetting the bed perhaps?
me: no way!
you: and you talk of bare bum running as if it’s an Olympic sport
me don’t be ridiculous! It is coming to Glasgow next year though
you: I initially thought you were referring to the commonwealth games, but you’re just planning a family outing aren’t you?
me: Ghengis wants to visit weegie land, what else can I do but take her?
you: buy her some clothes?


Oct 28 2013

Monday 28 October 2013: Please cast a ‘photo mojo’ spell….

…. in my general direction Mr Warlock. Just another wee dude sitting on my desk that I painted a few years ago

Jeez I am struggling with blip motivation at the moment. I’ll give it another week or so and see if things improve. If not it’s time for a time out like last year.

Met Auslaender and his good lady for lunch today. It turned out my entire team was going to the same place. Still, we got our order in early so we weren’t held up by the ravenous hordes.

The missus still feels ropey, and I think I am coming down with something.

2 days in and the dark nights are making me miserable.

you: what’s your excuse been for the rest of the year?
me: excuse for what?
you: your general air of misery
me: oh that’ll just be my personality
you: or lack thereof. Which might suggest why you weren’t invited to your team lunch
me: I was….I think…..but I had a better offer.


Oct 27 2013

Sunday 27 October 2013: Killian, I’ll be back

The wee icon on my mouse just reminded me of the Running Man.

KK&L didn’t make it down to see us today, so determined to do something productive with our day we caught up on MasterChef Australia.

Mission accomplished.

When we put Ghengis to bed at the moment she "shushes" us. She puts her finger to her lips and says "Shhhhhh". It’s very cute. It must be what the do at nursery. She’s also saying "hiya", or her interpretation of. Again it must be from nursery as until she said it we’d never said it to her.

you: seriously?
me: what?
you: you class catching up on a tv show a productive afternoon?
me: pretty much.
you: well you certainly didn’t put much effort into your photo for the day
me: not really, no.
you: a bit of a theme forming it seems. Buck up buddy.


Oct 26 2013

Saturday 26 October 2013: Record breaker

You see that balloon up there? It’s the worlds longest lasting helium balloon. Ghengis let go of it in the stairwell ages ago and we can’t reach it without getting the big ladders in the house.

Mum and dad hung around a bit longer than they planned which was nice. They took Ghengis away a wee walk down the road which meant I got time to get Jeneiope’s new computer built and up and running.

Fat Mungo and the troops were round. I’d made a trio of soups. Between us we finished them

Because the clocks are changing we kept Ghengis up an hour later than usual in the hope that she wakes up no earlier than the new 6. We’ll say how that goes.

you: a trio of soups? Could you not just have done one, well?
me: they were all nice I’ll have you know
you: have you checked the plant on the table?
me: for what?
you: having been ‘watered’ with soup when you weren’t looking?


Oct 25 2013

Friday 25 October 2013: Check it out!

"There’s a freakin’ polar bear over there."

Is what Ghengis screamed when we went a walk in the woods this afternoon. At least that’s what it sounded like.

It was a river themed toddler sensory class today. I’m noticing a pattern. Every week is pretty much the same, but with different music and a different theme and different props.

Mum and dad arrived. Eventually. Fish and chips for tea. Eventually. Then my favourite competitor on Oz masterchef got knocked out.

The components for Jenelope’s new computer arrive tomorrow, hopefully get it built.

you: eh
me: what?
you: I thought you said it was the same every week
me: what?
you: toddler sensory
me: yeah it is
you: except for the music
me: yeah
you: and the theme
me: yeah
you: and the props
me: yeah
you: so, it’s entirely different ever week
me: eh, yeah
you: moron
me: the man that takes it is the same every week though…


Oct 24 2013

Thursday 24 October 2013: Boxed in

Went a wander with Sutin at lunchtime. We headed up to the museum for a look around from the roof. Lovely day, bit of a chill wind.

No climbing again tonight. It seems like months since we’ve been. This week it’s my fault as my knee is gubbed. Slipped last night and twanged something, and as the day has worn on it’s got worse. To the extent that I had to push my bike tonight as cycling hurt too much.

Yet another night of Ghengis making an appearance at silly oclock. It’s wearing the missus and I down. Makes us realise how lucky we have been up until now.

I think I have a cold coming on.

you: oh no, cue the whining
me: I’ve told you before, I don’t whine.
you: you do
me: no it’s not whining, it’s, eh,
you: whining.


Oct 23 2013

Wednesday 23 October 2013: Pink rain.

Whatever happened to acid rain? Based on Blue Peter’s terrible predictions most of the buildings in Edinburgh should have dissolved away by now.

Ghengis had her hair up in a bunch for the first time ever today. She’d gone to nursery having stolen one of the missus’ hairband things, so the staff put it in her hair. Cute as a button.

you: who’s Blue Peter? FatPete’s vulgar mate?
me: no I mean blue peter as in the childrens tv show.
you: oh. Well that’s much less interesting
me: come on, you must have watched blue peter when you were a kid?
you: I didn’t have a childhood. I worked down the mines


Oct 22 2013

Tuesday 22 October 2013: They weren’t there on Saturday

When we walked passed the Dome on saturday I commented on the fact they had started putting the lights up, but they weren’t on. Today they were.

Trains were a frickin’ shambles today. I couldn’t get on one so I just came home and did an hours work from home. I don’t like working from home though so I went through as soon as the trains were running semi sensibly again. That and it was pub night.

Just a couple of jars and a burger tonight then home to make a start catching up with Australian Masterchef. Too tired though, Ghengis has been up at about half five most days for the last week.

I also got to the bottom of the stinky trainer incident from yesterday. I’d gone to work with odd shoes on. Not for the first time either. I had on one of the old stinkers.

you: so why keep them?
me: what?
you: old stinky trainers
me: I have difficulty throwing things out
you: why would you ever need a pair of old stinky trainers?
me: why would I ever need the 4 pairs with worn through soles?
you: you won’t.
me: when you put it like that I’ll just….eh…..hang on to them in case of emergency
you: what? A spider gets in to your time travel machine with you and all of a sudden you have 8 legs?
me: exactly. In case of emergency.


Oct 21 2013

Monday 21 October 2013: Who’s the clown?

We had an implementation tonight. Long stint for me, a lot of changes needed so I was in for 13 hours today. All went ok though. And there was pizza. Someone had said they thought CM should wear his green clown wig for good luck. So he did. He came to work straight from the airport though having been on his holidays. So he’d had to take the wig with him to portugal. Top bloke. You’d want him in yer management team if you could have him.

As the evening wore on and the office got warmer there was a strange wiff coming from my trainers, which I couldn’t understand as they had just been through the wash.

Ghengis has a new word. Much to my delight she says "Poooooop" with a cheeky wee look on her face every time she farts. I’m not sure the missus is quite as happy

you: so how many of the 13 hours were taken up with you eating pizza?
me: lets say 11 and a half
you: shall we just call it 12?


Oct 20 2013

Sunday 20 October 2013: So, what’s good on this menu?

Set the studio kit up to try and get a photo of Ghengis with the missus’ mum and dad. But she wouldn’t sit still. That’s Ghengis, not my mother in law.

Bit of a wander in the woods with Ghengis this afternoon. I let her out to walk and she set off at a he11 of a pace. Then we tried again for a photo. Still no joy.

Just watched the final round of the BTCC which was rather good. How they drive so fast inches away from each other when they can see nothing because of torrential rain and spray is quite amazing.

and despite almost 11 hours of sleep last night I am knackered

you: too much
me: too much what?
you: sleep. That’s why you’re tired
me: that makes no sense
you: it does.
me: it doesn’t
you: so why do you think you’re tired?
me: eh, because….
you: you had too much sleep.


Oct 19 2013

Saturday 19 October 2013: Raaaaaaaaar

A bit of an indulgent day today. We were through in town to see the matinee of the Lion King at the playhouse. So we went out for a nice lunch before hand.

Then we went to see the show. Which was frickin’ awesome. All the animals were great. I was quite concerned that their rendition of Be Prepared wouldn’t live up to my expectations, what with it being my favourite of the songs…..but they nailed it. Brilliant. I also quite liked that they tailored the show for the city, with Zazu singing some Proclaimers.

Out for a few cocktails. My aim was to get one of the peanut butter and jelly ones I’d seen on the menu on Tuesday, but there were no seats so we went elsewhere. I seem incapable of choosing cocktails that are anything other than pink. They were both tasty though.

Then out for tea. Without reservations we were chancing it a bit, and the first few places didn’t have tables till the back of ten. In the end we ended up back in the tapas place we were in on our anniversary weekend. They only had a space for an hour so we pretty much had an identical meal to last time.

On the train and we’re home by 9.

you: dirty stopouts
me: I know eh. Proper rebels.
you: proper nancies you mean. Especially you and your pink drinks
me: One of them was a blueberry pancake martini. Surely that should have been blue.
you: there’s only one cocktail you should be drinking.
me: and that is?
you: single malt, your choice, with a dash of water to taste
me: that’s not a cocktail!
you: it has two components. It’s a cocktail. Man up princess.


Oct 18 2013

Friday 18 October 2013: SitRep.

It’s been six and half months since my week long challenge so I thought it was about time I provided a situation report. You may, if you wish, choose to believe that I succeeded in my challenge, and that things have since deteriorated. It wouldn’t be the smartest thing you ever chose to believe though.

I filled out my tax assessment today. It says I have to pay £0.10 in tax. Seriously. Half the frickin day stressing about what numbers to put where, and that’s what it comes out with? What a waste of everyones time. I made a £1190 loss. Go me. If I wasn’t so handy with the credit card I would have made almost the same amount. Ach well, this year will be better….oh except it won’t because I don’t have any jobs booked. But then I haven’t bought much new kit either.

Once that was out of the way I decided to try and tidy up lightroom. I deleted over 600 photos. I’m sick of looking at the remaining ones now. Which is a shame as I still have to go through 2012 and 2013. 3800 photos for one, and 5600 and counting for the other. I can’t be bothered. Much like tidying my room, I just want to close the door on it and seal it up.

you: it wasn’t any of mine
me: what?
you: time that was wasted
me: i didn’t mean it like…..
you: I had a great day
me: surprise surprise
you: I went bowling. Then out for lunch. Then I went to the cinema and there wasn’t another soul in there so it was like having a huge telly. Then I went out for tea.
me: no you didn’t
you: no, I didn’t. But at least I wasn’t doing what you were doing. Oh, and one more thing
me: what?
you: tidy your frickin room!


Oct 17 2013

Thursday 17 October 2013: Take a look at the….

….reflections on that.

I like the way the vibrant semi-clad ladies were brightening up the street on what was an utterly grey and miserable day.

No climb tonight, Steven just arrived to say his back was still playing up. Bit of exercise in the garage instead I guess.

Think I am gonna try and do my tax return tomorrow. I can hardly wait

you: perv
me: what? I told you why I took it
you: the reflections?
me: aye
you: whatever. Seedy old man taking photos of photos of ladies in lingerie
me: less of the old!


Oct 16 2013

Wednesday 16 October 2013: An unexpected journey

And sadly there was no hobbit hole at the end of it. Or a cask of gold.

Got a message from FatPete today to ask if I could pick him up at the airport and run him to east kilbride. So I saw him today for the first time in a couple of years. Such a shame it wasn’t under better circumstances but nice to see him all the same. So three hours after leaving home to cover a mere 97 miles I got home. Totally knackered. The driving was horrible because of the pouring rain, and there had been an accident so I was stationary in a queue for a while. But FatPete got to where he needed to be and that’s all that mattered.

you: So what did you think to it?
me: what?
you: East kilbride. It’s ace eh?
me: eh….it has a lot of roundabouts
you: yeah and isn’t the town centre great?
me: I think it’s the only place I have ever been where the town centre is entirely encircled by a road it’s almost impossible to get off, and where you can’t see any shops
you: stop putting it down, that’s my holiday destination of choice that is
me: you’re welcome to it.


Oct 15 2013

Tuesday 15 October 2013: What the frick is that?!

That’s not beer. Napoleon’s disgust at this being delivered to our table was palpable. It was for esme though so he couldn’t complain. Esme and I struggled not to laugh when the barman placed it on the table then sprinkled dry flower petals around the stem of the glass. I say we struggled, what I mean is we failed.

Good night at the boozer, we are fairly ticking through them. I think we are something like 19% through the tour. Only 200 or so pubs to go…

Had nachos for the first time in ages. The Teacher showed his amateur status as a nacho eater by being left with a pile of fairly dry nacho chips. Now this was partly down to the poor levels of cheese dispersion, but it was mostly his mistake.

We added a 39th rule for the tour.

"The internet is unavailable for fact verification and dispute resolution"

I think it’s a good un.

you: but if you can’t check the internet then you might…..you might actually have a conversation
me: I know. Pretty shocking stuff eh.
you: could you not just have banned google
me: what about bing then though
you: ha! Like you could find anything with that
me: hey it’s not that bad. Better than what The Teacher wanted to use
you: what was that? Wolfram Alpha
me: nope. Alta Vista.
you: haha! But it;s closed. Hang on…..are we having a conversation about search engines
me: you see! It’s fun without the internet
you: how do you get a rule struck off…..


Oct 14 2013

Monday 14 October 2013: Merry frickin chrimbo.

2 hours of arguing about what we are going to do at christmas and where we will go when. Boo. Hiss.

And that was monday

you: ’tis the season to be jolly
me: whoever wrote that didn’t have family spread around the country.


Oct 13 2013

Sunday 13 October 2013: Autumn. again.

Got the grass cut today, surely that’ll be the last time for the year?

A few more child safety thingumy bobs fitted to a few more cupboards. Hopefully it takes a bit less time to get used to them than for the first batch which drove us potty every time we opened tried to open a cupboard and failed.

Bit of a wander with Jenelope and Ghengis, followed by a bit of a play on the freshly cut lawn. The first proper time since it was laid in fact.

And now it’s a bogging night. Wet, low cloud, miserable.

you: much like you, except for the low cloud
me: ho ho.
you: and why are you not taking Ghengis’ safety seriously?
me: we are!
you: so why are you fitting cupboard locks in batches? Surely she can either open a cupboard or she can’t, necessitating that they all be done once the former is true?
me : ah but I’ve already applied to Colloportus spell to some, and because it’s wearing off I need to fit the child locks
you: couldn’t you just re-do the spell? Frickin’ he11 did I really just ask that?


Oct 12 2013

Saturday 12 October 2013: Autumn

Up and out the door super early this morning to go and meet Sutin for a bit of a photo jaunt at sunrise up Aberfoyle way. Unfortunately the sun didn’t really rise. It just came up.

Still, it was good fun being out early with the camera. Shame he stole my blip and all I’m left with is a pile of leaves in a stream….that could have been the stream 5 minutes up the road instead of an hour away. Ach well, you cannae choose yer mates. Hang on that’s not right.

The lass across the road was off to get married today. I sat waiting for over and hour to get a photo of them all getting into the cars. I left the room for a couple of minutes and they must have opened the house and sprinted, as the first I knew of it was the car doors slamming.

The rest of the arvo spent with Ghengis and the missus. We sorted out the back lounge, it’s actually quite a nice room now. I think it can now live up to it’s name as "the music and reading" room.

Jenelope has arrived, and that’s strictly watched for this week.

you: eh….
me: what?
you: what’s the difference?
me: between what?
you: the sun rising and the sun coming up
me: I meant it didn’t rise in any spectacular fashion. The day just got lighter
you: ah I see. there was me thinking they were exactly the same thing and now you’ve explained it I see they are actually exactly the same thing. Idiot. And no freakin’ wonder the bride sprinted to the car the minute you and yer camera retreated, ya perv!
me: what are you talking about, I just wanted to get a photo of the family in all their finery.
you: aye aye. That’s not the usual kind of photo you see in the papers of women getting into cars
me: trust you to drag the day down to the gutter
you: hey it was you hiding in the bushes with zoom lens not me
me: I wasn’t actually. I was in the sitting room.
you: no better.


Oct 11 2013

Friday 11 October 2013: plinky plonk

At toddler sensory today it was all about the weather. I’m not sure he did as good a job of explaining the hydrological cycle as well as I would have.

I love the hydrological cycle.

Apart from that it was $hitty nappy central in here today. And I finally got my machine going again after last nights dodgy hard drive near disaster.

you: trees and the hydrological cycle?
me: what about them?
you: they are two of your favourite things?
me: oh yeah they are awesome
you: you really need to get out more.


Oct 10 2013

Thursday 10 October 2013: It’s back!

I don’t think I’ve seen hooch since the tail end of ‘96. The cause of many a messy night in first year. Happy days.

Out for a curry tonight seeing as Steven has a bit of a sore back. I took the car rather than the bike or a taxi….so of course there was free beer! One of the local breweries (TSA) was in with a bunch of mini kegs for you to try. Typical. I had a wee taste of one and that was it. There was an old boy making the most of it though. He just kept going back again and again. He was a fairly cheery sort of soul, but he attached himself to our table for slightly longer than was appreciated. He does however live in the high flats, and I’ve always been on the lookout for a way in there, as the views of sunset up the towards stirling must be awesome.

you : you’d get on with a drunk old man just on the offchance there is a photo opportunity?
me: let me just check, you said "get on" as in chat to, and not "get it on" as in I don’t even want to think about it
you: yes
me: then yes
you: didn’t your mum ever tell you not to talk to strangers?
me: I’m not sure. I certainly remember "drive carefully".


Oct 9 2013

Wednesday 9 October 2013: "You think anybody…..

…..wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it." Saw this dude walking down the street and he just reminded me of Rex Kwon Do. "Take my arm….other arm……my other arm". It’s been quite a while since I watched Napoleon Dynamite. I might have to dig it out.

Bit of a wander at lunchtime and got sniped by Monochrome. He came round the corner of the graveyard like he was playing modern warfare.

The new gadget I bought myself at the weekend has arrived. I think I may have overclubbed somewhat. I bought a wacom intuos 5 (a pen/tablet combo for working on photos). I didn’t know what size to get, S, M or L. I went with the bigger is better approach and went for the L. Big (literally) mistake. It’s frickin’ massive. In fact it doesn’t fit on my desk.

you: moron
me: yeah I should have read the spec’s
you: you think?!
me: what rubbed salt in the wound was that today I was watching a youtube video by a photoshop guy I have a few books by. "I love my intuos 5, and the small is the perfect size for photo work".
you: hahah
me: at least when I find I don’t like it I can use it to replace the garage door.


Oct 8 2013

Tuesday 8 October 2013: New England

I don’t know why, but these boards in one of tonight’s boozers made me think of New England (or if you like Jonathan Richmond: ooo-oooh New England. Check out the vid, I taught him all his awesome dance moves).

Met JS for a wannaburger at lunch. He’s still just taking it easy, and hasn’t worked since he left. Quite a few of the contractors are doing that. CR is planning on having at least 6 months off. I’ll not say I’m jealous…because that’s obvious.

One of the two brides from a couple of weeks ago has confirmed she wants me as her wedding photographer. It’s just a half day gig, but it’s a gig.

you: burger for lunch and nachos for tea? Porker
me: who said I had nachos for tea?
you: you were at the pub, so it’s obvious
me: I’ll have you know I turned down the nachos
you: what?! Oh they just had a vege option I take it
me: nope, beef
you: WHAT?!
me: They committed a cardinal sin
you: and what pray tell was that?
me: they broke the 10 quid barrier. And that’s just taking the pi$$
you: they might have been worth every penny
me: I don’t care. Nachos have to be under a tenner. That’s one of the fundamental laws of physics.


Oct 7 2013

Monday 7 October 2013: Mooo

well whad’ya know. That was monday that was

you: 5 points for observation


Oct 6 2013

Sunday 6 October 2013: Are you trying to get me into trouble?

My wife is sitting over there you know! I have no idea what the lass in the coffee shop at the zoo thought she was doing by declaring her love for me in the foam of my latte. The missus and Ghengis were sitting 5 feet away.

It won’t be happening again. I’ve filed a sexual harassment law suit.

Through to the zoo for a wander again. I think we are close to getting our moneys worth from the annual pass.

A bit of exercise tonight. Something I could get through with no problems a month or two ago nearly killed me.

you: you wish
me: what? That my exercise killed me?
you: no, that the barista was declaring her love for you
me: she did though
you: you don’t frequent coffee shops much do you?
me: no
you: I guarantee you she did it for everyone
me: how promiscuous.


Oct 5 2013

Saturday 5 October 2013: Ginger

It’s no lie. It was alcoholic. It was certainly gingery.

Double trip to town as the wee table and chairs we bought for Ghengis’ on the first trip was missing parts. Very annoying. Trip to the park after the second visit made it a worthwhile jaunt though.

We finished Breaking Bad last night. I’m not sure what I made of the ending. I’m not sure it’s how I wanted it to turn out. The second last episode was getting a bit nasty for my tastes, had it gone on much longer I might even have stopped watching it. Todd is one of the nastiest characters in anything I’ve ever watched. I was glad to see………I won’t say anything, I know at the very least there is an Elf out there that’s yet to see the ending.

A bit of an Ozzie Masterchef marathon to get caught up. And of courst Strictly. Sophie Ellis Bextor’s charlston was ace

you: please don’t
me: what?
you: start reviewing strictly in your journal
me: if I did would you leave?
you: if only I could.


Oct 4 2013

Friday 4 October 2013: It was bad enough….

…when it was just mushrooms that were growing in the new lawn but now we’ve got blimmin pumpkins too! Peg stealing pumpkins no less.

At toddler sensory we went to space today. My arch nemesis was there again, but this time he was with his mummy rather than daddy, and he didn’t seem to have an issue with me.

Had to pop in to poundland to get some batteries to get dad’s old camera up and running, where I spotted this pumpkin costume. Best quid I’ve spent in ages, Ghengis has had it on almost all day. Seems I can’t get the camera going though. It’s jammed up, seems to be a common issue. Shame.

you: eh, some elaboration perhaps?
me: on what?
you: "we went to space today"?
me: oh yeah, for our £6 they had booked us on Virgin Galactic and we popped up to space for a look around with Mr Branson
you: or they had flashing lights and a big black sheet and called it space.
me: or, they had flashing lights and a big black sheet and called it space.
you: thought so.


Oct 3 2013

Thursday 3 October 2013: Hired

yesterday’s retiree schoolbag has been replaced with the subject of todays blip.

Exciting stuff.

The missus is out for a meal with the uni girls which I think is exceptionally rude considering I want to watch the last few episodes of breaking bad with her. This series has been freakin awesome. We watched a couple of episodes last night and the last one we watched was so tense I thought I was going to explode

It would appear that Ghengis’ first proper word, repeated multiple times, is "Shoes". The missus is very proud. But I wanted her to say camera or beer. Devastated.

you: here we go
me: what?
you: two rucksack blips in a row
me: yeah I know. Turning in to a bit of a…..
you: IT IS NOT A SERIES. It’s two tatty blips in a row. That’s all it is
me: I did get a nice photo today
you: yet you didn’t use it
me: it was one from the blip bank
you: so? Isn’t that the point of your mythical blip bank
me: well, aye, but the rucksack will only have a ‘first day of school’ once. I wanted to document it.
you: Idiot. And that’s another thing, you don’t go to school. Stop referring to it as your schoolbag.


Oct 2 2013

Wednesday 2 October 2013: Retired.

Sadly, not me. But my faithful animal rucksack. The missus bought me it about 15 years ago and it’s been in pretty much daily use since then. Not bad going in this day and age of disposable everything.

you: what kind of sick freak are you?
me: what have I done?
you: what kind of sicko turns an animal into a rucksack?
me: it’s not like that
you: what is it? A fox? A badger? A panda
me: no no no you’ve got it all wrong!
you: I can’t believe you have turned a panda into a rucksack. That’s just vile
me: no it’s "Animal" the brand
you: oh.


Oct 1 2013

Tuesday 1 October 2013: The nights are fair drawing in.

This was taken before 8pm. Do we have to have a winter?

Most disappointing pub meal I’ve had in a while tonight. A "Big Ben" burger. It was nowhere near big enough to be called "Big Ben". And it was nowhere near big enough to cost eleven quid either. It tasted ok though.

Today the missus said to Ghengis "Come on we’ll go out to the park". Ghengis turned around and wandered off, the missus wondering where she had gone to. She re-appeared moments later wearing her trilby. Good girl.

you: it was probably the right size for a normal human
me: the burger?
you: yes the burger.
me: it may have been the right size for a normal human, but not a normal human that had paid 11 quid for it
you: and why was it disappointing if it tasted good
me: it just was
you: but surely tasting good is a fairly major plus point
me: yes. But it didn’t outweigh the negatives
you: you’re a negative, and you weigh lots. I imagine it would take quite a lot of positives to outweigh you.