May 31 2013

Friday 31 May 2013: On the road again.

Ghengis got her first set of wheels today. She seemed pretty happy to be pushed around the garden, but I don’t imagine it will be long until we see her trundling off down the road to go to the shops.

You hear all these stories about the cost to insure teenagers on cars these days, and I figured it was all just the media blowing things out of proportion. But it’s not. It cost me £1800 to insure Ghengis for her new car. Third party fire and theft, social, domestic and commuting cover only. With an annual milage of about 17.

Today my diet consisted of cheesecake. Of which I ate one. Profiteroles, of which I also ate one. Cup cakes, of which I ate two. And a chocolate biscuit.

Went out and bought some proper trainers, ones that are actually suitable for exercise.

you: they don’t cancel out you know
me: what?
you: you can’t cancel out massive overindulgence of cakes by buying sporting apparel
me: of course you can
you: you can’t
me: of course you can. Just like those idiot girls on that "Secret Eaters" programme that were convinced you could eat as much as you liked of whatever you liked within an hour of exercising and it didn’t count
you: but you are aware that is ridiculous
me: of course! It’s only half an hour that rule applies for.

May 30 2013

Thursday 30 May 2013: Dead? Happy? Both?

Both I think. Beautiful day today. Lovely and warm. This bloke was just taking it easy and enjoying the sun. Unfortunately I was going up the steps and he was in my way so I had to wake him to ask him to move.

Out for Monochrome’s leaving lunch today. Wanaburger. It was really really tasty. I liked. A lot.

Then out for a jar after work for Monochrome’s leaving do. Who he thinks he is that he gets to have 2 separate events I have no idea.

you: you better not have
me: what?
you: woken that guy up
me: look at him, he’s taking up about 6ft of steps. I just needed to get to the top
you: there’s about 30ft of unused steps on either side of him to use
me: but I wasn’t 30ft either side of him. I was right there.
you: you are an @rse.
me: of course I didn’t you idiot.

May 29 2013

Wednesday 29 May 2013: Sweat Angel.

From Calumet Photo of the week to this. The very rough outline left by me lying on the garage floor sweating after a workout. The swings and roundabouts of photographic opportunity in action.

you: seriously?
me: what?
you: this is your best photo for the day?
me: it’s my only photo for the day.
you: I cant even see anything
me: look, there, my shorts and my back and you can’t quite see my arms out to my sides
you: I can’t see any of it!
me: I had to work freakin’ hard to make that
you: work harder next time.

May 28 2013

Tuesday 28 May 2013: Pub Dug.

A good night at the boozer tonight. It seems like an age since I have been. In reality I have just missed three weeks of attendance.

Good night tonight though. Not only did we go to the Blue Blazer (which is normally forbidden if I am attending because I like it…..less so now that pints cost £3.80), but we spent the majority of the evening defining the rules for our next pub tour, and a little associated wager.

The wager is based on how many pubs there are within a mile radius of Edinburgh Castle. The exact limits of the radius will be defined by The Chemist, but it is expected that it will be roughly based on the flagpole of edinburgh castle. If you’d like to play then it’s 10 quid to enter, and no cheating, it has to be your first guess based on your gut instinct, no looking at maps. Entry fee payable by paypal or cash. Auslaender I am expecting at the very least you will take a punt! ;-) There are 21 other rules associated, but basically if the venue’s primary function is a watering hole, and it has an entrance off a recognised street or close, then it counts (no entrance fees, must be open after 5:30pm.)

you: 12 pubs
me: are you in any way aware of what a mile is
you: I was brought up in a metric household. 53m?
you: that might be Napoleons excuse. At 81 pubs his guess was the most laughable.
you: ok ok I’ll amend my guess to 17
me: did you not hear me say Napoleons guess was laughable?
you: ok 15
you: I didn’t mean it was too high you idiot.

May 27 2013

Monday 27 May 2013: Going somewhere nice? (2)

Nothing makes you realise how much you prefer not being at work than going back after 2 weeks away.

In the 2 weeks I was off we moved offices. My desk was somewhere in the mothership, if I could find it. It’s not a great seat. It’s dingy, with not much in the way of natural light. On a huge open plan floor of about 150 people. With not enough dunnies. And in the dunnies that there are they have dyson airblades. I don’t like dyson airblades. And they make the porridge with water rather than milk. It’s going to save me a bit of travel time each day. So far that’s the only plus point.

you: I bet the canteen is better though, right?
me: did you not see what I said about the sub-standard porridge?
you: yeah but what about lunch?
me: when you just have a baked spud and beans it doesn’t make much difference where you have it
you: you could always try being interesting for a change
me: I did put some Worcester Sauce on my beans
you: ooooh, daring.

May 26 2013

Sunday 26 May 2013: One.

Where did that year go? Ghengis turned one today. How can that be possible?

Open letter to Ghengis (number 3)

To my wee poppet Ghengis,

I could write a long letter to you about how beautiful you are. How much I enjoy having you in my life. How much fun it is to watch you learn new things every day. But I’m not going to because I can sum it all up in 4 words:

You are freakin’ awesome.

And three more words.

I love you.

Love from Daddy.

So we had her party today. I ended up taking one of the guests to A&E. They were ok in the end. But we had several unsure hours of looking after her bairns, who were wee stars.

We now have a mountain of buffet type food and cake left. The missus and her mum went a bit OTT.

you: Happy Birthday Ghengis
me: indeed.

May 25 2013

Saturday 25 May 2013: Bespoke 039

Was taking some photos for a local duathlon today. They couldn’t have got a nicer day for it, it’s been beautiful. Shame they didn’t get more entries, there were only 13! For all the effort that they put in organising it I reckon it must be pretty gutting.

The missus and her mum have been away at Stobo Castle for the day so I’ve been on Ghengis duty. She was as good as gold. Barely made a peep all day. Even tried her back on the home made grub for lunch and tea and she ate both without a complaint. What a good wee 364 day old.

Jenelope has sold about £700 of paintings today. Nice work chook.

you: At least you’ve stopped calling it babysitting
me: yeah I don’t need to spell out that it’s babysitting, it obviously is
you: it is not babysitting
me: ok ok whatever. She was awesome today
you: she’s just behaving in the hope you’ll head up to the 24hr tesco and get her a present she actually wants
me: naw she’s going to love her socket wrench set. Just you wait and see.

May 24 2013

Friday 24 May 2013: Whur’s yer bunnet?

Having almost smashed my head in while on my bike I always get wound up when I see folk riding bikes without a bunnet on, don’t they know it’s dangerous? Especially in town. I would almost certainly be 6ft under if I hadn’t been wearing mine.This lass wouldn’t have looked quite so cool in her aviators with a helmet on though.

I am now an "Adobe Certified Associate in Visual Communication with Adobe Photoshop CS6", having passed my exam today. Top of my class no less. A class of 2, but still top hehe.

Having spent a week in Weegie land I am now wondering if I prefer it over Auld Reekie. I’ve certainly enjoyed my lunchtime wanders. Maybe that all boils down to the nice weather and free sandwiches though.

you: ooh get you and yer fancy qualifications
me: cool eh?
you: not really.
me: oh
you: and maybe other folk aren’t as useless as you on a bike and therefore don’t need to wear a bunnet.
me: what if a mentalist in a car hits you?
you: then there’s a fair chance wearing a helmet wouldn’t help
me: We’ll have to agree to disagree
you: How about we disagree to disagree
me: fine by me, but I’m not sure where that leaves us.

May 23 2013

Thursday 23 May 2013: Places to be.

I like to think that when I walk I take purposeful strides like this. Sadly I know I take steps barely any longer than Ghengis does.

Second last day of the training course today. Have an exam tomorrow. First one I’ve had in about 13 years.

Climbing tonight. Managed the 6a+ on the competition wall which I was delighted with. Hurt my back which I wasn’t. It’s pretty sore, hopefully it’ll be awright tomorrow.

you: sounds like you are making up excuses to get out of your exam
me: am not!
you: I’m just letting you know, that’s what it sounds like
me: well I’m not. It does hurt. Rather a lot.
you: boo hoo. I’ve been having a think about why you take such small steps
me: and?
you: it’s because you are always drunk isn’t it
me: ah yes, that must be it. Idiot
you: hey that’s my line.

May 22 2013

Wednesday 22 May 2013: Funky ‘fro

Just a bloke I spotted walking down the alley as I went for a lunchtime wander.

Ghengis is feeling better. Thank you those that asked. Her new tricks for today were: 1) trying to put her shoes on by herself. A girl after her mammy’s heart. 2) wiping her snotty nose on her sleeve. A girl after her daddy’s heart.

2 weeks in to my new fitness regime so tonight was a fitness test. Improved on everything. Woo hoo. So to celebrate I had one of Jenelope’s excessively iced cakes.

you: please tell me you don’t still wipe your nose on your sleeve
me: I don’t still wipe my nose on my sleeve
you: you could at least have said it with a bit of conviction
me: I don’t still wipe my nose on my sleeve
you: I would hope not seeing as you are nearing 36 years of age
me: hang on, does the inside count?

May 21 2013

Tuesday 21 May 2013: Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.

Ghengis had a fever last night. Taking her temperature resulted in a reading of 39.4C. At midnight we were on the phone to NHS 24. For the next few hours she slept fitfully in her cot. By 4am we gave up and I took her downstairs and the pair of us slept on the floor of her playroom. She was like a wee cat curled up next to me. Except cat’s don’t snore like chainsaws. Her being upset and poorly made me sad.

The missus took her to the docs this morning, who just suggested continuing to give her calpol.

I wasn’t as tired at my course today as I thought I was going to be having had just a few hours kip. Another nice wander at lunchtime. I say nice. What I of course meant was trying to avoid the drunk scary weegies.

First cut of the grass tonight. And Jenelope has arrived and made us a huge pot of pasta, and in exchange I have photographed all her Spring Fling paintings (better than the photos on that site I might add!)

you: aww poor wee Ghengis
me: I know. It was horrible seeing her so upset. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for folk when they have a properly poorly bairn. Not sure I could handlie it
you: you are a sap though
me: well, there is that.
you: and you’re always sad, so how was it any different to normal?
me: I’m not always sad. I’m always miserable.
you: so sorry you’re miserable-ness. Please forgive my honest mistake
me: you are forgiven.

May 20 2013

Monday 20 May 2013: Tracks (2)

Through in glasgow for a photoshop training course today. I always like these tracks when I get the train through there. It was a wee bit basic today seeing as I’ve been messing about with photoshop for years. Still learned some good stuff though, and there is loads more to come.

Lovely warm day too. I went for a bit of a wander and had a 99 in the park. I said 99! But since when did a frickin 99 cost £2?! Surely if there is anything that can’t possibly be hit by inflation it’s the humble 99 ice cream cone. Next thing you know poundland will cost £.25. It’s not on. It’s just not on. It totally spoiled my day.

When I got Ghengis up this morning she was on fire. Poor wee chook. Think she has some teeth coming through again as she has been out of sorts all day. Really clingy and even falling asleep while the missus held her, which she hasn’t done, well, ever. Hope the wee cookie feels better for her birthday party at the weekend.

you: when was the last time you got a 99 for 99p?
me: what does it matter?
you: it was probably about 20 years ago
me: who cares? The price is the name is it not? If they are going to put the price up then the name has to change. And I can guarantee you no one would want to buy a two-hundred.
you: the name is nothing to do with the cost
me: actually now I come to think of it, I would buy a 200, but it would have to be freakin’ massive
you: That’s all you really want, the cost to be proportional to the size.
me: aye, rather than inversely proportional like with marathons
you: MARATHONS?! They haven’t been called that in 23 years!
me: They’ll always be marathons to me

May 19 2013

Sunday 19 May 2013: My day’s Friday not Sunday.

Ghengis was not happy at being bumped from her usual Friday slot on blip so refused to co-operate for the camera today. She has been good as gold all weekend, preferring to have grandma or grandpa holding her than me though. Wee traitor. Got a nice shot of her out in the garden with dad.

Doog came round for a couple of hours and we played around with his new gun.

A.Alison and U.Sam popped round for a brew too.

And to top it off the drive home was a piece of smooth flowing cake.

All in all a cracking weekend back at BC. (with a backblip for yesterday)

you: Given the choice I’m sure Ghengis would rather be held by anyone than you
me: now now that’s not fair. She always comes to see my when I get home from work
you: yeah, realises you haven’t got any presents for her and then wants away again
me: aye but only because she doesn’t want to miss "In the night Garden"
you: which is on an hour after you get home.
me: she just takes a long time to get comfy in her favourite seat.

May 18 2013

Saturday 18 May 2013: First attempt

Today I spent several hours up in the big shed with dad giving me a bit of tuition with the aim of me having a go at building one of his sculptures. He builds one of the big vases in 2 or 3 days. After several hours I was only half way up a 10" ball.

Still, it was an enjoyable afternoon bimbling about in the shed with dad. It was properly pi$$ing down the entire day and it’s nice to hear it bouncing on the tin roof rather than getting soaked.

I dare say I won’t ever be exhibiting in the Spring Fling art exhibition. But both dad and Jenelope are so if you are looking for a bit of sculpture or a painting then go take a look next weekend.

you: a day to manage half way up a 10" ball?
me: yeah, I wasn’t the quickest
you: and I bet you didn’t even do it all yourself
me: I did
you: really?
me: yes
you: really?
me: ok ok dad helped out a bit
you: knew it.

May 17 2013

Friday 17 May 2013: They’re back (2013) (holiday day 5)


A few more days like this would be most welcome. Glorious sunshine, blue skies, and fresh greens in the fields and on the trees.

Took Ghengis to the dentist with me this morning as I was going in for a checkup. She didn’t seem to keen on the room full stop. Even sitting on the chair with the missus was viewed through eyes full of suspicion. That’s Ghengis’ eyes, not the missus.

We stopped in at E+J’s to meet the new wee man their lifes. An hour or so sat out on the deck with them in the sunshine was lovely. And finally I saw some swallows this year. Not seen or heard a peep from them up our way yet, house martins either.

Then on to BC, where my laptop is playing up which has been most annoying.

you: make your mind up, are you logging dates of swallows or house martins
me: either. I don’t care.
you: so it’s scientifically worthless. And what’s worse is that there isn’t even either in this photo.
me: there is, there’s a swallow
you: where?!
me: on the right hand hill, on the slope leading in to the frame there is a black dot.
you: that’s just dirt on yer camera!
me: nope, zoomed in it is a swallow, forked tail and all.
you: whatever. This scientific study is entirely null and void. Much like the space between your ears

May 16 2013

Thursday 16 May 2013: Starting young. (holiday day 4)

Steven was off on holiday today too, so we went climbing in the morning rather than at night. About the only other folk in was a couple and their wee bambino. She just crawled about, did a bit of traversing, and generally amused herself while her folks got their climbing done. No way I could do that with Ghengis, she’d be off like a shot. "Sorry I let you fall to yer doom Steven, but I had to go and get Ghengis down of the boulders".

Behind the wall again for lunch. Then I finally got the summer wheels back on the beemer, and apart from a bit of exercise that was about it for the day.

Oh, I went to the woodland association’s AGM. There was the committee and me there and that was it. Pretty poor considering the number of folk that use the woods. The only thing that was decided was that all the bags of dog $h1t are going to be gathered up and dumped at the entrance with a sign to indicate it’s not on.

you: it sure isn’t!
me: I know, it’s frickin disgusting
you: so why were you party to it then?
me: I don’t have a dog. What are you talking about?
you: the gathering up of all the bags of dog crap and placing them at the entrance
me: that’s not what’s not on, it’s the muppets that go to the effort of bagging up their dogs mess and then chucking it in the bushes, or worse, up a tree!
you: blimey it must be about a year since you had a rant about dog owners.
me: It’s freakin’ disgusting that they just dump it. The other proposal was a high powered rifle
you: after which you were asked to leave no doubt
me: it wasn’t me…..but I did second it!

May 15 2013

Wednesday 15 May 2013: And for my next trick… (holiday day 3)

….I will make this bamboo shoot disappear. Either that or he has a raspberry seed stuck in his teeth and he’s trying to get it out.

Took Ghengis to the zoo for the first time today. We think she enjoyed it. She certainly seemed to like the chimps swinging on the ropes. "Just ignore the chimps copulating in the background Ghengis…they’re, eh, just being nice to each other" Right, that’s the birds and the bees conversation done with, that’s saved some embarrassment when she’s a teenager.

The panda’s were ace. I liked them a lot. Much smaller than I thought they would be. It was looking like they weren’t going to do much other than sleep, as I think is the norm. But they both went out and had a wander and ate some sticks.

I didn’t get to see the blue poison arrow ants. Boo.

you: what? Not complaints?
me: The missus said I wasn’t allowed to complain about the cost
you: which you kind of just have
me: or that they charge for parking on top of the expensive entry fee
you: right, so that’s you complained about that too
me: or that the cheapest toy panda was £15.
you: so basically you’ve now complained about that now too
me: looks kinda like it. Result.
you: and they weren’t eating "sticks" you moron
me: if it looks like a stick and sounds like a stick then it is a stick
you: what on earth does a stick sound like?
me: "snap".

May 14 2013

Tuesday 14 May 2013: Can you see it? (holiday day 2)

Can you? That’s snow on the hills. And it’s the middle of May. And they aren’t even all that high. And yesterday they were properly white. And on the way home yesterday one of the Three Word Monday texts of the radio was "Snow in California" ridiculous.

Today Ghengis and I went to sainsbury’s. Buying all organic for her is very expensive. Which I wouldn’t mind if she wasn’t going through one of her "I’m not eating anything you have made me" phases.

The end.

you: another day I wish I could have spent with you. Oh the excitement. Oh the hilarity. Oh the…. Nope. I can’t fake it any more. Your holiday’s suck
me: I’m just glad not to be full of the cold like last time.
you: and for the last time, it’s "a" cold not "the" cold you had.
me: you say tomato I’ll say tomato. Damn it, it still doesn’t work in type

May 13 2013

Monday 13 May 2013: That’s more like it! (holiday day 1)

We headed up to Dundee this morning to meet the siblings for a bit of lunch for Jenelope’s birthday. We went to the apex down by the river. Lovely big windows letting in loads of lovely soft light.

But I digress. Lunch: After yesterdays overpriced pizzas I was feeling quite negative about eating out. But the 4 of us had a 3 course meal each. A juice each, and via some voucher or other the entire bill was under £35! And it wasn’t like the food was cack. It was actually blimmin nice, especially the chocolate tart pudding which was delicious. My "cheese and biscuits with fig jam" did come with a comically small amount of fig jam however, yet somehow I finished the cheese first. It certainly beat yesterdays £28 pizzas

Some awesome and incredibly vibrant rainbows on the way down and up, one of which was following us in the spray kicked up by the car…..which kept distracting me…."oooh look at that rainbow following us" "How about you just look at the car in front?"

you: food food food. It’s all you talk about
me: mmmm, fooood. Can live with it, couldn’t live without it
you: that’s not how that saying goes you muppet
me: well the proper way doesn’t work in relation to food does it ya numpty
you: oi! Watch yer lip!
me: sorry sorry, maybe it was the fig jam, maybe it was part of some medical experiment and it had drugs in that cause aggression and that’s why they give it out in such small quantities
you: oh yeah, that’s almost certainly the reason.
me: you think? Oh no what if I have a bad reaction to it?
you: you really do live in a strange little world

May 12 2013

Sunday 12 May 2013: Reading

The missus decided we had to get out of the house so suggested heading through to edinburgh to try and meet up with old uni mates for a bit of lunch. None of them could make it but we went through anyway and went for an overpriced pizza and had to park in overpriced parking because for some reason the town was hoaching and there weren’t any street spaces. Not only was it overpriced, but it is without doubt the worst multi storey carpark I have been into in my life. St James centre, I hate you.

We went for a bit of a wander round the portrait gallery. I liked a few photos in one of the exhibitions. The other was about Annie Lennox, who does my nut in. I do quite like her singing voice, but she nips ma’ heid when I hear her interviewed.

All in all we would have been better off staying at home so I could watch the last episodes of "Gold Rush Alaska"

you:you might have been in a better mood if you hadn’t taken the most obscure route to the middle of town
me: I know, no idea what the frick I was thinking, I was all over the shop
you: Still, you made a better job of leaving?
me: not really. I thought I was on my bike and took us a route that didn’t work for cars
you: yer missus was beside you and Ghengis was in the back….and you had the radio on…..yet you thought you were on yer bike?
me: aye. Not sure my brain has fully switched on today
you: no wonder if you are watching dross like "Gold Rush Alaska"

May 11 2013

Saturday 11 May 2013: Jalepeno 2/13 (2)

I did threaten it.

you: but no one thought you’d be so lame as to actually follow through
me: more fool them
you: nothing to say for today
me: new rear tyres on the bm. £340.
you: how exciting
me: sarcasm?
you: give that boy a banana

May 10 2013

Friday 10 May 2013: Well would you look at that…..

… must be Ghengis Friday. As it’s been for the past few weeks.

At the docs this morning to see about my hip. Referred for an xray. Turned up at the hospital expecting a long wait as I didn’t have a specific time to be there or anything. Within 10 minutes I had been seen. I love the NHS when it works like that.

The hospital was full of:
a) old people – this is acceptable.
b) massively fat people – this is not acceptable
c) massively fat old people – this is surprising

you: are you for real?
me: what?
you: saying that massively fat people are unacceptable?
me: these people couldn’t move under their own steam. How do they get that way? Who continues to feed them?
you: none of your business really, is it?
me: I suppose not. But….
you: but nothing! It’s not like you are captain healthy is it? For example what healthy foods did you eat today?
me: nachos for lunch and chicken pie for tea.
you: I rest my case. You’ll be next to be wheeled about in a chair with a hospital gown that isn’t big enough to close at the back
me: They were chicken nachos rather than beef, if that makes any difference?
you: No! Fatist!

May 9 2013

Thursday 9 May 2013: Dark secrets

While digging around in the cereal cupboard what did I spy hidden at the back? A half empty bottle of Absolut. I fear I will be having to have a little chat with Ghengis in the morning.

Day 2 of my new exercise regime. I almost died.

Woo hoo I’m on holiday for a week.

you: What exactly were you digging around in the cereal cupboard for? Your vodka per chance?
me: I don’t even drink vodka.
you: your gin then?
me: there wasn’t any gin. Just raisins. And about 400 varieties of porridge
you: and your secret vodka.
me: It’s not mine! I don’t drink vodka. Neither does the missus. Therefore it must be Ghengis
you: yup that’s the only explanation. Your 11 month old daughter has hidden a bottle of vodka in a cupboard that’s 6 feet off the ground. Either that or it’s YOURS!
me: ok ok I like it on my cereal from time to time to get me going on a morning
you: really?!
me: No you idiot! I have no idea why it’s there!

May 7 2013

Tuesday 7 May 2013: Industrious

Work was as dull as dishwater again. I’m beginning to think my move to the web team was a big mistake, we’re just not getting any interesting work. So today I bailed at 330 and came home and went for a cycle instead. Which was nice, seeing as it was probably the nicest day of the year so far.

Cleared all the cobwebs off of the patio furniture to sit out with Ghengis and the missus in the sun. An hour later this wee dude had himself a new web. Amazing. It was strung about 5ft between the arms of two chairs. How do they do it?!

you: they have a good work ethic, that’s how they do it. Unlike you
me: I do too! If I’m doing something I enjoy or am interested in I work as hard as anyone
you: you bailed at 330!
me: it was sunny and I had some flex time
you: what are you going to do if we have a nice summer?
me:: hope for some interesting work so I don’t notice?
you: shouldn’t you have been at the pub tonight?
me: aye. Had the weather been guff I would have just gone straight there and waited.
you: probably for the best you didn’t. That could have been messy…seeing as yer a nancy and can’t handle your beer any more.

May 6 2013

Monday 6 May 2013: Dolly

Another slow day in the office. Sommat’s got to give soon. Luckily I am on holiday again next week.

I was intending starting a new exercise regime tonight. But realised I needed a bit more space in the garage so spent a bit of time tidying that up, and then ate cake. So it’s going well so far.

Jenelope came down and made us tea. Chicken and chorizo risotto. Delicious.

Then to compound the lack of exercise our tv watching hit a new low. We watched "Breaking Amish". A documentary about some young Amish folk leaving home and going to New York. It was quite fun, but just went to show that even girls brought up in a strict religious setting can be nasty wee $hits once they have a glass of wine in them.

you: it’s hardly the worst thing you watch is it?
me: no I think watching property based programmes is probably the biggest waste of time out there
you: and yet you watch them all
me: I know I’m going to stop though.
you: and do something more productive?
me: I sure hope so
you: like what?
me: hmmm, eat cake I think.
you: thought as much. Porker.

May 5 2013

Sunday 5 May 2013: Money well spent.

What a frickin disaster last night was. We got £20. 20. Two zero. We checked 50 tickets each. I never even got a tenner. I was totally miserable and annoyed with myself. So with my "winnings" I went and bought 20 scratch cards. I now have seven pounds.

Fat Mungo et al came through this arvo so we could take Ben out on his new bike on the trails. It was too hard for him, and I was seriously concerned he was going to break himself on the downhill section where he didn’t seem to be entirely in control. Hopefully I haven’t put him off mountain biking. I think I need to scale my expectations of Ghengis back somewhat. Ben didn’t fall off anywhere though….unlike Fat Mungo and I. I haven’t fallen off my bike in years. Now I have some pleasant gravel rash.

you: are you an utter moron?
me: at the moment I fear the answer may be yes.
you: you chuck 80 quid down the pan then go and chuck the rest away on scratchcards?! What the he11 was yer missus thinking, letting you do either of those things?
me: EXACTLY! I’m glad you see it from my point of view! What was she thinking? It’s all her fault.
you: I rarely see anything from your point of view, and I certainly don’t see this.
me: I enjoyed burning the other 98 tickets though.
you: And no doubt you are now thinking that as you blipped both events it’s brought the cost down to £50 per blip?
me: EXACTLY! I’m glad you……..
you: I DON’T! You are a moron.

May 4 2013

Saturday 4 May 2013: Luck be a lady tonight

100 lotto rows on individual tickets. Turns out the machine in tesco doesn’t have a "100 tickets button", the wifey had to print each one as if it was a separate transaction, it took freakin’ ages.

Still, the wait will all have been worth it in a couple of hours when I am a millionaire.

Got the mac up and running today….turns out I quite like mac OS X. Hmmmm, this could be expensive. Oh yeah, I forgot I’m gonna be a millionaire soon, I can buy all the apple kit that I want. I’ll just load up the shopping cart on the apple store website now in preparation.

you: It didn’t work last time, it won’t work this time
me: you could be right.
you: so basically that’s 100 quid down the drain
me: nah, I must get something back
you: and why the frick did you a) not get multi rows per ticket and b) not do it online
me: a) I don’t trust the machines, the number of times I’ve got several lucky dip rows on one ticket that have shared several numbers really annoys me. And b) I needed a blip
you: frickin expensive blip. Idiot.

May 3 2013

Friday 3 May 2013: Buy low. Sell high….

….and don’t you dare call me again until you’ve made me at least a million.

Ghengis was pretty busy on the phone today. It must be a tough life being a jet-setting international business woman. The government’s recent restrictions on the number of boxes of baby milk powder you could buy had a bit of an impact on her export dealings, but she’s back on track now.

Down to the dentists, I didn’t need another root canal treatment. Yay. I just needed the filling replaced. £13, job’s a good un’

Bit of a Masterchef marathon today. Watched hours of it to get caught up. Just a shame I saw a blip thumbnail someone did of a tv screen showing the winner just as I was starting to watch the final though! The right person won.

you: hahah!
me: what?
you: I can just imagine your disappointment at having the suspense ruined
me: and yet you find this amusing
you: more than amusing. I find it enjoyable
me: you really are horrid sometimes.

May 2 2013

Thursday 2 May 2013: Tracks

I always like these lines in the field. I’m yet to get a photo of them that I like.

Left work a bit early so the missus and Ghengis could walk down and meet me off the train. I was looking forward to that. Lots. Every corner I went round and didn’t see them was disappointing. I thought they weren’t coming. But I did eventually spot them coming to meet me. They were about 10yards from the back door. Ach well, it’s the thought that counts.

you: you know what happened don’t you
me: what?
you: they set off in the other direction to try and escape from you
me: oh yeah? So why did they come back?
you: my guess is Ghengis had a dirty nappy
me: aye right…….hang on, that was the missus excuse.

May 1 2013

Wednesday 1 May 2013: 5 minutes

5 minutes of a wander at lunchtime that turned in to 25.
5 minutes away from the office when this black sky decided to let loose.
5 minutes allotted to get todays blip done.

Monochrome handed in his notice today. Another one bites the dust. It was he who introduced me to blip in the first place, it’ll be a shame to see him go.

you: you’ve been at this for at least 7 minutes now
me: lucky I have nothing else to say then
you: aye, lucky that
me: oh, except my arms and shoulders hurt a lot from carrying home that mac yesterday
you: who cares? You just wasted an extra 30 seconds.