Dec 31 2012

Monday 31 December 2012: Another year, another Skylander.

Scott and Claire came round for a brew and a blether, it was nice to catch up with them since we normally miss them when they come up north.

Then through to the swamp for the traditional new year of board games, booze and banter. This year Fat Mungo had decided he couldn’t face trying to get us to understand anything with complex instructions, so we played the logo game, and it was grand. The boys won.

you: you live near the hogmanay capital of the world and you go to the swamp?
me: too freakin’ right
you: why?
me: because I don’t want to stand around for hours in the cold with thousands of folk I don’t know waiting on the bells.
you: a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet
me: no, a stranger is someone that keeps bumping in to me because they are too drunk, asking me for a light, and singing out of tune at the top of their voice
you: probably for the best you don’t go to a big party actually
me: why’s that?
you: because you are so freakin’ miserable!
me: that’s fine by me. I’ll keep going to the swamp as long as we are invited.


Dec 30 2012

Sunday 30 December 2012: Nacho’s are go.

Ghengis was complaining that it was a while since we had nachos, so we arranged to meet a bunch of uni mates for lunch and went through to Henricks, the land of nachos.

It was grand, the biggest gathering of us outside a wedding in years I reckon. 14 adults and 5 bairns. Today’s blip was taken with The Teacher’s wee boy’s Vtech kids camera. It had a bit more shutter lag than my 5d Mkii, but as the saying goes, the best kind of camera is the one you have with you…..and I couldn’t be bothered getting the big camera out of my bag.

Over the last couple of days I have been becoming increasingly concerned that Ghengis is perhaps a dark wizard. When she is sitting playing with her toys it seems as though we can hear her talking parseltongue.. "ssssst paasssssssss shhhhh tsssssss hasssssssssssssss", or words to that effect. I’m fairly sure there are no dark wizards in my family tree, at least I’ve never heard Salazar Slytherin mentioned at family do’s, so maybe Ghengis is just a notable exception, like Harry Potter.

you: did you really just say you think your daughter is a dark wizard
me: let me just check……yup, that’s what I said.
you: that’s nice of you!
me: I did say that it’s more likely that she’s an exception to the usual case of it being hereditary from the dark wizard blood line
you: it’s still not very nice
me: what if I look over and her teddy has three heads?
you: then it’s probable you bought her a three headed teddy. Freak. Who buys their baby girl a three headed teddy?

…..
just checked the exif and it appears I am the first to ever blip with a "SQ907B EZ-Cam" hurrah. Do I get a prize?


Dec 29 2012

Saturday 29 December 2012: Tweet tweet….

….to ghengis from great grandma P.

Out for a bit of a wander with the missus, then mum and dad stopped in on their way home from W.E. With more presents. So it was present opening round 3, a record for us I’m sure.

Then wasted an hour trying to work out why audio wasn’t working with skype on the tablet we got mum for christmas when it had done on wednesday. I was sure I had read something about it not working on certain tablets, but the fact it did on wednesday was confusing me. Then I realised we were just sitting in the same room so mum could here me talk and I didn’t notice it wasn’t coming out of the speaker.

you: I think on this occasion it’s more than justified
me: go on then
you: IDIOT!


Dec 28 2012

Friday 28 December 2012: Close

After yesterdays wonderful meal I was inspired to try an amateurs concoction, so we decided to try one of Jamie’s 15 minute meals from the book we got for christmas (no doubt along with half the households in the UK, making Mr Oliver even richer).

I didn’t manage 15 minutes. It took about 25. But I wasn’t using a food processor, just a mandolin, and I had done all the washing up by the end of the 25 minutes. So not bad.

Went and got the flu jab today. Had a fairly ropey year of colds and crap this last year so if this helps avoid any of that then it’ll have been a tenner well spent.

Now we’re watching some Cirque du Soleil, which is fairly incredible, and waiting on Ghengis to be woken up by the wind seeing as it’s blowing a gale outside.

you: I have a suggestion that might speed you up in the kitchen?
me: go on…
you: you could try using a knife rather than a stringed instrument resembling a lute to do your chopping
me: ho ho ho.
you: and based on the ingredients on show you had a christmas mince pie with leek and jellybeans?
me: and it was delicious


Dec 27 2012

Thursday 27 December 2012: A meal fit for a king

Out and bought a sofa for Ghengis’ playroom today. DFS get a pretty bad rap for all of their cheesy adverts and permanent sale, but it was certainly the best of the sofa shops we visited for service. Offers of tea or coffee while we wandered round, and one of the sales lassies spent about 10 minutes amusing Ghengis while we spoke to the manager. Whether the sofa lasts 5 minutes is another matter.

Think I have the unappealing task of raking through the bin to find the receipt for mums christmas present fast approaching. Wish we hadn’t had those whole prawns as a starter on christmas day now. If there is a wee beady eye stuck to the receipt I might boak.

you: what, in the name of all that is edible, is THAT?!
me: what does it look like?
you: barf on bread.
me: no. It’s obviously a bread sauce and gravy triple decker.
you: vom
me: and a cup of coffee in a stripy mug
you: oh well, the stripes improve things loads, it looks totally edible now….eh, naw.
me: there are a couple of wee bits of turkey on it too, and some cranberry sauce on the lower deck
you: none of this helps. Please refrain from sharing photos of your freakish meals


Dec 26 2012

Wednesday 26 December 2012: Well that was worth it.

Because we didn’t make it up to W.E due to illness paranoia the Teacher popped round to say hello with his missus and wee bairns. We still had to give the kids their presents, so I thought it would be fun to stick on the santa claus costume.

So I came down the stairs, Ho ho ho and all, walking in to the room:
The Teacher: look fraser, who’s that with your present.
three year old: rxs. (delivered in a deadpan voice)
me: aw ffs.

it was highly amusing though

you: it’ll be your black sidies and white beard that gave it away
me: probably
you: certainly wouldn’t be your lack of roundness
me: I’ll have you know I even had a cushion up my tshirt for added realism
you: there’s yer problem then. You overdid it. Lardy + cushjon is just taking things too far


Dec 25 2012

Tuesday 25 December 2012: O-M-G (2) ! ……

……..it’s just what I wanted.

So. First christmas as a family. And it was lovely. Even if Ghengis did get us up at 5am. Which is unlike her. And refuse to go back to sleep. Which is unlike her.

Just had tea. Time for a kip on the sofa.

you: so, what did you get Ghengis?
me: the wrapping paper, as seen above.
you: nothing in it?
me: a box
you: nothing in it?
me: what’s the point. She’s only wee. She liked the paper. And the box.
you: I do hope you’re joking
me: of course! There was another box inside the box. You know, to make it interesting.


Dec 24 2012

Monday 24 December 2012: First timers

For the first time in about 17 years of being together, and nine years of marriage, I’m spending Christmas with the missus.

Ghengis didn’t seem all that excited about Santa coming when we put her to bed. Perhaps she was just playing it down a bit.

Right, we’ve had our M&S party food. And I’ve fallen asleep on the couch.

So things are going pretty well as far as I’m concerned. I hope things are going as well where ever you may be. Merry Christmas

you: many people round for your party food?
me: who said anything about having people round?
you: that tends to be the usual scenario when having party food
me: not in this house. How else could I have beef wellington, spicy chicken, brie and cranberry tart, and salmon and asparagus wraps all on one plate?
you: with you I’d assume you’d just order it and tuck in
me: fair point. And because it’s just us, we have the same for lunch tomorrow
you: ooh, adventurous.


Dec 23 2012

Sunday 23 December 2012: Living in a dream world

For some reason I was utterly convinced that M&S would be quiet at 9am this morning. It’s a sunday. Who goes food shopping at 9am on a sunday? Me, because I’m obviously a smart cookie. I want to go when I can wander round at my leisure with no stress, no people bumping in to me, and all the shelves are fully stocked. So we drove through to the Gyle…..

….upon our arrival:
"WTF?! Why are there no parking spaces? Why has the whole of edinburgh decided to come to M&S at the gyle at 9am on a sunday?

On one side of this sign everything was serene. There were a few people milling around, buying the last of their christmas gifts. Stepping across the line was like descending to hell.

you: I can make a few observations and answer some of your questions.
me: I’m sure you can.
you: 1) why you thought it would be quiet : You are an idiot
me: what a surprise. What else?
you: 2)the whole of edinburgh hadn’t descended on the gyle. They were all stooges. Paid actors. Paid by me. Even the "employee" that you asked where you could find the christmas puddings
me: the idiot that sent me to the soups and sauces aisle?
you: that’s the one
me: the one that had miraculously disappeared when I went back to thank him for his ‘assistance’
you: the very same. And now it’s all on cctv. It will be aired at new year on "Worlds grumpiest christmas shoppers" and also on "Idiots that look for puddings in the soup aisle"


Dec 22 2012

Saturday 22 December 2012: Party time

It was the christmas party of the wee baby club that Ghengis goes along to. We did the hokey cokey (and turned around). We sang (and played) jingle bells. We played with balloons. And Ghengis tried to eat every ball in the ball pool.

Then we headed through to see the bro in law and his new lass, and we went out for a bit of lunch. Saw his new caymen too, which looks sweet sitting on it’s 911 turbo alloys.

Then we came home and have just watched the first half of the strictly final. Denise’ show dance was amazing. I think she should win. Which will annoy mum "because she shouldn’t even be in the competition".

Just realised I have had three big meals today. Lasagne for breakfast. Sausage and mash for lunch. Roast spuds and chicken for tea.

you: why?
me: what?
you: would you eat lasagne for breakfast?
me: because it needed eaten
you: right. Of course it did. Have you got worms?
me: not that I’m aware of.
you: I think you ought to go get checked out at the docs
me: naw, I’m eating what I want at the moment. Things are going to change on the 1st
you: the main thing that I can see changing is your waist size.


Dec 21 2012

Friday 21 December 2012: Hot date

Went to the pictures for the first time in almost 2 years tonight. Went to see the hobbit with The Teacher. Having just finished my annual read of the book, I was half dreading going to see the film. I was ready to be annoyed by every change and incorrect bit of dialogue.

In the end I quite enjoyed it though, even though it had some pretty massive changes and additions. I can’t believe they have turned it in to three films though, that’s just mental. It’s gonna take longer to watch the films than it takes to read the book.

The cinema was more than half empty too, so there weren’t that many people to annoy me. You’d think. Except for the folk behind me permanently crinkling some sweet packet or other.

Anyway, I mostly enjoyed it, that’s the main thing, and it was good to catch up with The Teacher over a brew afterwards.

you: did you pay extra for a cuddle seat?
me: naw.
you: sold out of them
me: you’re asking me like I’d know.
you: I bet you shared a snack
me: aye, well have you seen the price of popcorn and a juice?
you: how romantic. And I bet you cut the bo…..
me: stop right there.


Dec 20 2012

Thursday 20 December 2012: Christmas dinner: Fail

By this time last year I’d had 3 turkey dinners. So far this year I’ve had none. Tonight was to be the night as it was the climbing club christmas night out. They had run out of turkey dinners.

Last day of work until the 7th of Jan.

you: stop calling it the "climbing club"
me: why?
you: because there are only 2 of you!
me: isn’t that enough to have a club?
you: no. And another thing
me: what?
you: you’ve been out for curries more than you’ve been climbing this year
me: that might actually be right
you: So if you have to claim you are any kind of club it should be the curry club.
me: ok, compromise. The curry and climbing club.
you: and another thing
me: what now?!
you: 2 food blips in a week? Lazy.


Dec 19 2012

Wednesday 19 December 2012: Happy birthday to you.

10 9years ago today I picked up my shiny new RX8.

My favourite memories of it are detailed here. I loved that car for the first couple of years, since then it’s been a bit of a liability. It’s still nice to get in to now though, even if it does look like it’s been through the wars, and has an engine that’s about knackered.

An email came through today to say everyone that went for voluntary redundancy has been accepted, so I am no longer at risk. There were some very happy faces in the office…..only on those who have got their VR as far as I could see.

It was the office chrimbo lunch/drinks out this afternoon/evening. I didn’t go, I’m watching my figure don’t you know?

Got home and the £150 of vouchers that work has given everyone had arrived.

you: come off it, you didn’t go for a different reason
me: and what would that be?
you: ’cause yer a miserable git
me: well yes, but that’s not why I didn’t go.
you: and what’s the deal with the vouchers?
me: essentially I think it was a case of "we’ve made a shedload of folk redundant and saved ourselves a fortune so here, have a wee treat"
you: giveth with one hand and take away with the other
me: pretty much. Think I’ll get a wee radio for the back lounge.
you: how thoughtful of you to buy something for yourself. Git.


Dec 18 2012

Tuesday 18 December 2012: Calorie counting

I realised that my calorific intake of late was far in excess of that required by someone leading an essentially sedentary lifestyle. So I decided to forego a trip to Taste of Italy and just have a baked spud and veg at the canteen instead.

Unfortunately DB had brought in 3 cakes, all of which met the base requirement of my "I only eat cakes of that type at work" self imposed restriction.

And someone else had brought in the kind of indian sweets that meet my "I only eat sweets of that type at work" self imposed restriction.

And then I went for beer and nachos.

I lost count of the calories

you: go on then, what’s the cake restriction?
me: they have to be home made. I never have shop bought ones at work.
you: never.
me: ok very rarely. But a home made lemon cake, home made victoria sponge, and home made chocolate cake? They all meet the very strict criteria that allow them to be eaten by me
you: not a bit of each?!
me: No! Some bam finished the chocolate before I got a shot.
you: and what about the sweets?
me: they have to be indian and be made entirely of sugar and butter.
you: and just any old nachos will do.
me: any old nachos will be purchased, but that doesn’t mean they will receive a favourable review.
you: tonights?
me: Au Bar, pretty good despite initial impressions and a slightly foolish "70p extra for guacamole". Good cheese dispersion, tasty chili, and the nacho chips were very crispy. All good.


Dec 17 2012

Monday 17 December 2012: Quack quack quack

Two of them look like ducks, one of them looks like a monster from the deep. It doesn’t seem to bother Ghengis, she’s happy to try and eat any of them. Coating of bubble bath optional.

When I got to the office this morning I thought there had been a plague or some other natural disaster over the weekend, as the place was empty. Then I thought perhaps it still was the weekend and in my post near death state I had gone in a day early. Neither was correct. Everyone else was just late in too.

Taste of Italy calzone for lunch, under the guise of a leaving lunch for DB.

you: near death state? You had a, sorry ‘the’ cold.
me: I wasn’t going to mention it, but now you have I feel a bit better thanks
you: and you must feel fine if you were able to eat a calzone
me: well you know that saying "feed a cold, starve a fever"?
you: is it not the other way around?
me: exactly! I have no idea, so I just opt for feeding both


Dec 16 2012

Sunday 16 December 2012: Looking like I feel.

A good solid nights kip last night, and power naps whenever Ghengis has been asleep, and I think I might have turned the corner and be on the mend….maybe. I bl00dy hope so.

Ghengis met Santa for the first time tonight. He must have owed the falkirk branch of the rotary club a favour as he was being towed along on a trailer behind a transit van with chrimbo music blaring. He spotted us standing waving at the door and came over to let us get a picture. Ghengis seemed fairly nonplussed.

you: finally!
me: what?
you: you might stop wittering on about being ill
me: you know what that means though don’t you?
you: you’ll find something else to witter on about.
me: exactly. And I’m not out of the woods yet.
you: out of the woods? You have a cold!
me: like I’ve told you before, not ‘a’ cold. I have ‘the’ cold.


Dec 15 2012

Saturday 15 December 2012: Beads

Continuing the theme of "things I can blip without moving myself from the couch", here we have some beads, tastefully strung across the mirror in some approximation of christmas cheer….

…Of which I have none at the moment. Feel like crap. Have missed the first christmas night out with the lads where all of us have been about in years.

you: still, look on the bright side
me: and what would that be?
you: they’ll have had a better night for you not being there.


Dec 14 2012

Friday 14 December 2012: O – M – G!

"What is Igglepiggle doing to Makka Pakka?!"

Had the day home alone with Ghengis today. She was a good wee chook. She’s still a bit snotty and grotty, but a quick bit of In The Night Garden on telly soon distracts her. For some reason she likes the birds in it. I frickin hate them, especially the bl00dy toucan!

The missus and I still feel frickin’ awful.

you: you aren’t half going on about it
me: what?
you: feeling rubbish
me: well as a result of feeling rubbish I never do anything so never have anything to talk about
you: what about today’s episode of ITNG?
me: you really want to know what happened in "Igglepiggles tiddle"
you: yes
me: well there……
you: Of course I don’t you idiot!


Dec 13 2012

Thursday 13 December 2012: Death Star

Except rather than bringing death it’s bringing snot and sore throats. The three of us are all feeling cack. Ghengis is complaining the least.

Out to taste of Italy for lunch with JJ.

I have a feeling a series of "things that are in the living room" blips may have just started.

you: hang on a minute, let me just check something……as I thought, this is the third day in a row you’ve eaten at taste of italy
me: I know, it’s not good
you: so why keep going back then you numpty
me: Oh no, the food’s great, I mean going three days in a row
you: why? Because soon they’ll have to get the fire brigade to get yer fat @ss out the door?
me: well, there’s that. And the fact I’ve spent a quarter of my monthly allowance in there this week alone
you: monthly allowance? What are you? A teenager or something?
me: well, no, obviously
you: a housewife from the 50’s then?
me: probably closer to that than being a teenager
you: I can just see you in a pinny
me: was that you I saw up the tree with binoculars outside the window?! Get out of it ya bam.


Dec 12 2012

Wednesday 12 December 2012: Feng Shui

Apparently Ghengis isn’t to happy with the layout of her room, the feng shui must be off. So this was the view that greeted us when we went in to wake her this morning. I think she’s trying to tell us to rotate her cot 90degrees.

Taste of italy again today.

I didn’t tick the VR box

you: so you really did chicken out
me: yup.
you: buck buck buuuuck buckkkk
me: not this again.


Dec 11 2012

Tuesday 11 December 2012: Embarrassed

For the first time in my life I was put off by the amount of food put in front of me in a restaurant. Out with Sutin for our annual chrimbo beers and a curry, except we didn’t go for a curry this year, we went to taste of italy. Normally I just have a 10" pizza and that’s fine. But for some reason tonight I had a starter and a 14" pizza too. When the pizza was set down in front of me I already felt defeated. I did something I’ve never done before….I cut off the crust and just concentrated on the area with topping. This was embarrassing enough without Sutin’s taunting. So I ate the crusts too. On the way to the train I almost barfed I was so full. Stupid

Got home and the missus had left me some food…which although I was ready to burst I couldn’t resist trying. Stupider.

Picked the RX8 up from the garage this morning at 730. The fella was cheery as can be, and commented that he had the heater on to warm the inside of the car up for me. That’s what I call good customer service. So it just goes to show you shouldn’t avoid manky wee industrial estates, because you just might be missing out on a wee gem like Wilson MOT Test Centre.

Slightly disappointed that the car didn’t come back looking like an a-team creation….I think.

……tumbleweed……
me: hello? Hello? are you there?
……tumbleweed……
me: hello? HELLO?
you: stop it. I have nothing to say to a man that can’t eat his pizza without being a nancy about the crusts.


Dec 10 2012

Monday 10 December 2012: Bottled it.

Almost certainly I have. I don’t think I can go for the voluntary redundancy. I just can’t make myself tick the box. I value my part time too much. I value being home by 530 too much.

you: basically you are a chicken
me: I’m not gonna argue today
you: and you’ll regret it for the rest of yer life
me: possibly
you: and straight afterwards they’ll make you go full time again
me: probably.
you: you are a loser.

In other news Ghengis is still chock full of the cold. Just about breaks yer heart to see her so upset.

And the missus still feels ropey.

And I still feel ropey.

you: and you’re a chicken.


Dec 9 2012

Sunday 9 December 2012: Both barrels

Poor wee Ghengis is chock full of snot. The missus is feeling ropey. And I reckon I’m coming down with a cold. So, not the best of days.

I’ve spent almost the entire day stressing about what to do at work. Should I tick the ‘preference for voluntary redundancy’ tickbox? It is quite literally doing my head in.

Perhaps the stress is what led to to come up with the decision to have steak and sausages for tea. No chips, no mash. Just steak. And sausages.

We got the chrimbo tree and some decorations up though. It’s a bit of a sorry affair. The tree looks like a couple of green pipe cleaners. It’s seen better days, but it’ll do.

you: stop being a nancy and get it ticked.
me: I can’t
you: why?
me: because I don’t feel well.
you: I’m fairly sure that’s temporary, whereas this is a decision that will affect the rest of your life
me: exactly. So not one to be taken lightly
you: lucky that yer not in any way light then eh.


Dec 8 2012

Saturday 8 December 2012: Poo Machine.

An open letter to Ghengis:
……………..
Dearest Ghengis,

4 poop filled nappies in one day? WTF?

love from Daddy.
……………..

Got a local garage fixing the rx8 and re-doing the mot for £150. When I left I suddenly thought "perhaps the extra 300 quid the main dealer was charging was to pretty it up a bit. Paint in the newly welded sections etc. I have a slight concern it’s gonna come back looking like an A-Team special.

Through to saz and stu’s this arvo. They are having a party tonight but were happy for us to head round early with Ghengis. Only one other person had arrived by the time we had to leave which was a shame. Still nice to see them though.

you: If you have a problem,
me: if no one else can help,
you: and if you can find him,
me: maybe you could hire…..
you: rxs and his shonky rx8.
you + me: "de-ne-ne nehhhh, neh-ne nehhh, de-ne-ne-ne ni nehhhh, neh, neh, ne-neh neh…."
me: well that was a first
you: I believe they call it co-operation.


Dec 7 2012

Friday 7 December 2012: Berry nice.

1000, no gaps.

The rx8 failed it’s mot today. Boo. Quote of £400+ for the repair is probably more than the car’s worth….if I take the 4 new tyres off. Bit annoying really. Will see if I can get a back street garage to sort it out for cheaper tomorrow.

Had Ghengis at the docs this morning to see about the eczema on her neck. I dropped her off (with the missus, I didn’t just leave her at the door and expect her to make her own way in), went to park the car and when I walked in to the waiting room she saw me and gave a big shout. That made me smile.

She continues to blow raspberries and spit all the time, giggling every time I say stop it. She’s gonna be trouble, I can tell.

you: really?
me: what?
you: for your 1000th blip you take a photo of some berries?
me: looks like it
you: and a terrible title?
me: not sure I’d agree with that one
you: this is totally lame. What happened to all the effort you used to put in?
me: 1000 blips is what happened. I don’t have time to spend hour upon end coming up with ideas and executing them
you: there’s only one thing around here needs executing.


Dec 6 2012

Thursday 6 December 2012: Power to the people

We got a letter through today from the council, which as far as I’m concerned reads as a "you’ve won, we give up, we take full responsibility for the controversial area of land". We win. I say "we". What I of course mean is that the couple of houses that continued to fight the council, and passed out letters for the rest of us to sign, have won. I would have given up months ago and just paid the local farmer to deal with the land or sommat.

Anyway, I popped round with a wee box of chocolates for one of the houses that continued the battle to say thanks for their efforts, they’ve saved me money after all. But apparently as far as they are concerned the council haven’t gone far enough in their backing down.

I think I’ll stay out of it from now on though.

Noticed something I had never noticed before on the letterhead: The town motto is "Ane for a’ ". I like that.

you: buuuuck buuuck buuuk buuuuuk
me: is your keyboard broken?
you: no, that’s a chicken noise
me: why?
you: because I’m calling you a chicken obviously
me: why?
you: because you say you are gonna keep out of it now
me: so?
you: buuuuck buuuck buuuk buuuuuk
me: what’s the point in pushing our luck?
you: buuuuck buuuck buuuk buuuuuk
me: whatever.


Dec 5 2012

Wednesday 5 December 2012: Safe to cross

An hour and a half "communication session" this arvo. Where senior management basically went on about how awesome the whole team were and what a great job we had done this year, and how we had to keep it going next year, conveniently managing to not even reference the fact they are making a third of us redundant in the next couple of months, never mind acknowledge that its going to be tough. You can always count on FW to poke the hornets nest with a big stick though, asking the questions everyone -actually- wants the answers to, making the managers squirm a bit, yet still not really getting answers.

There was a free booze session afterwards, i didn’t go. I met up with the no-stripes crew for a few jars instead. Predictably a lot of the chat was once again redundancy based seeing as all but one of us are at risk.

Home. Wash baby bottles. Eat a pile of toast. Feed Ghengis (and her first tooth which we noticed on Sunday) and then bed. Day: done.

you: you didn’t go.for free booze?
me: naw
you: are you feeling awrigjt?
me: ach it was arranged last minute as usual
you: what difference does that make?
me: ach it annoys me. "We’re gonna sack the lot of you and send yer jobs offshore, but here, have a beer on us and drown yer sorrows" Feck off.


Dec 4 2012

Tuesday 4 December 2012: Just give me your money…

….and I’ll make up some nonsense to tell you. 20 quid for 15 minutes this tarot wifie was charging. It wasn’t quite a steady stream of customers, but she certainly made more than we spent on beer during the time I was in.

A lot of tonight’s chat was around whether I should request voluntary redundancy and if I got it what I should do with the money. "Go to the casino, go to the roulette table, wait on six blacks in a row, then put all the money on red" was the best suggestion, so I think that’s what I’ll go with. It certainly beats "get a couple of decks of cards with pictures on and be a tarot reader".

Napoleon reckons he’d go back to uni and do a degree/conversion course into brewing, which, judging by what sounds like a fairly disastrous first attempt at home brew at the weekend might be a good idea…. though he’s blaming faulty hardware.

you: Do it
me: what?
you: put it all on red
me: can you imagine how much of a rush it would be?!
you: right up until "no more bets" and it falls in black, at which point a long walk off a short pier becomes your only option
me: or crying
you: you could go for both?
me: i need to get swimming lessons first
you: that kind of defeats the purpose of the former option.


Dec 3 2012

Monday 3 December 2012: Where did that come from?

I knew it was to be cold over the next few days, but I never saw any mention of snow. Yet there it was this morning. Probably not the best kind of conditions to be riding a bike with skinny slick tyres. But I did. And survived. The way home was worse as it was re-frozen slush.

So, opting for voluntary redundancy is now an option. It’s not guaranteed, it’s just indicating your preference really. Decision time.

you: why is the snow yellow?
me: just because of the street lights
you: you’re sure someone hasn’t pee’d on it?
me: what? All of it?
you: that’s what it looks like to me
me: that would be quite a volume, and skilled distribution of urine
you: Why thank you very much. It’s just one of my many talents.


Dec 2 2012

Sunday 2 December 2012: Back-blip a go-go

78 back blips completed. Starting from the last regular one posted to blip which was here.

As with last week we set off to go to the Tillicoultry discount village. Unlike last week though we remembered the baby bag, so we managed to get lunch and make it to the shops. Which is a shame. This is Ghengis pulling her, "if I stop crying can we go home" face. At least that’s how I chose to read it as it’s much the same face I was pulling.

Had a nice lunch though at the Tilly Tearoom. We went based on the tripadvisor reviews, but my cynical side was expecting it to be a disappointment with all the reviews being from family and friends. I was mistaken. The food was lovely and the staff were friendly. If yer ever at the tilly discount village do yersel a favour and skip the tat cafe at sterling mills and head here instead. The cakes looked ace if you need anything to sway you.

you: your ‘cynical’ side
me: aye
you: you mean you have another side?
me: sometimes. I’m not sure what side I would class you as
you: me?
me: yes, you.
you: hey I’m nothing to do with you. Keep me out of it.


Dec 1 2012

Saturday 1 December 2012: On the first day of christmas…

…my true love bought for me, a ne-eh-eh-exus-7. Went in to town having decided I was going to buy a galaxy note 10.1. Wasn’t keen on the screen on it though, and bought the N7 instead. Which is odd, seeing as I’ve said so many times that I’d never buy one as it doesn’t have an sd card slot. Not entirely sure what happened there.

I think I’m turning into a gecko. My fingers feel all rough and stick to things like velcro.

The skooshers that didn’t work when I was finished yesterday have decided that now they do work, I guess the system just needed time to get water through it. And I got the winter wheels and tyres on so now the beemer looks, eh, rubbish, for the next few months. Ghengis wasn’t all that keen on helping me change the wheels over, I think the noise of the drill scared her.

Ghengis has really taken to her solid food, she chomps down what seems like huge amounts given her size, and then still finishes her milk too

you: that proves it then
me: what?
you: she is yours after all.
me: was there ever any doubt?
you: it was more like hope that the poor wee chook had someone normal for a dad. Someone that doesn’t make statements like “I think I’m turning into a gecko”
you: but I do
me: just stop, before you get taken away in a padded van. Again.