Oct 31 2012

Wednesday 31 October 2012: Best I ever had

I loved my E71. Spent the night messing about with one. I think I might go back to using it actually. Yeah the screen on my omnia is really nice, but it still doesn’t deal with some things as well as the old guard.

Taste of Italy for lunch today. I didn’t have the calzone as I wanted to compare the topping on the ortolana pizza to the one I had on monday. As I thought, taste of italy uses far better ingredients.

you: eating out again! That’s 3 times this week!
me: ah but today was in the interests of science
you: what?
me: I was checking the ingredients used so that I could compare and contrast
you: more like seeing if you can increase your mass to have a greater gravitational pull than the sun
me: hmmm, I think I might be getting close
you: you must have just had a nice light tea since you were out at lunch though?
me: if roast beef, mashed potato, cabbage, brocolli and gravy on toast is classed as a light bite then yes, I did.

Oct 30 2012

Tuesday 30 October 2012: Excess

So today I went up to the mosque kitchen for the first time. And ate too much. To start I had a main of rice with 3 vege curries. It was delicious, and more than I needed. But the kebabs with rice and sauce that the other guys had looked awfully delicious. So I went and bought that too. It was good, but not good enough that i had to have it.

The usual Tuesday night beers. Just me, Colin and white lightning. We thought Oz was in Nigeria, but it was Paris, so we were close. Had one more pint than i probably needed, or wanted, but at least we made a start on organising our chrimbo night out, which napoleon was the first to respond to, even though he’s in new Zealand.

Oops, look at that sign, time to get off…

you: have you ever seen a globe?
me: the globe? I’ve been. It’s awright, but nowt special
you: no, ‘a’ globe. As in a map of the world
me: oh yeah, I love the world
you: that’s good to know. But it would appear you’ve never studied it
me: what?
you: the world!
me: I have so!
you: so you’ll be aware that Paris is nowhere near Nigeria
me: no?
you: not even the same continent.
me: ooooh. I’m thinking of Nice.
you: brilliant, one’s a country, one’s a city, you idiot

Oct 29 2012

Monday 29 October 2012: Jinxed

I knew it! There was no way on earth I should have written on Saturday about how awesome Ghengis is. Last night for the first time in weeks we had a 4am hissy fit for an hour and a half. And then the baby woke up too.

There seems to be a bit of a lack of work for the team I am in at work. Which is a bit of a worry.

Out for a bit of tea with the missus to the new Italian in town. The quality of the ingredients just didn’t match up to expectations. Like the artichoke that was on my pizza which was just the odd leave here and there, whereas at Taste of Italy you get whole wee artichoke hearts

you: you monster!
me: what have I done?!
you: eating artichoke hearts! What’s next, baby seal’s brains?
me: eh, artichokes are vegetables
you: oh….right…aye….I knew that……as you were….nothing to see here.

Oct 28 2012

Sunday 28 October 2012: Art.

I’ve been informed, once again, that the art installation that is the focal point of my study isn’t child friendly and has to go.

Finally got around to changing the brake pads on my bike. Far trickier than it ought to have been, and now I can’t get the pistons to recede fully and my brakes are permanently on, making cycling tricky.

The inlaws arrived for a few days. As when Jenelope came, Ghengis found this hilarious for all of a minute.

No idea where today’s extra hour went. It certainly didn’t result in anything productive that I can see.

you: that mess is in the middle of your room?
me: it’s not a mess, it’s an art installation
you: and you’re a moron
me: ok I agree it’s not art. I kind of hate myself for using the phrase “art installation”. It’s a charging station, that’s what it is
you: it’s not that either you imbecile! It’s a mess. Sort it out. And why is there a hot glue gun in the middle of it?
me: that’s your only concern about the contents of this photo
you: well no, it’s not in focus properly, it’s poorly lit, it’s crap. But when do you ever have the need of a hot glue gun in the middle of your study floor?
me: twice in the last 24hrs actually
you: I don’t even want to know….

Oct 27 2012

Saturday 27 October 2012: Meow.

For various reasons I’ve not really said on here how awesome Ghengis is. But I’m going to now.

We haven’t had to feed her during the night for the last 4 months. Not bad when she’s only 5 and a half months old. I can count on my fingers (ok maybe I need to include my toes, but no other appendages) how often she has woken up through the night over that same 4 months. In the afternoon she falls asleep and wakes herself up within the same 30minute period most days. At 7pm we put her to bed and only on the rarest of occasions do we have to do any more than lay her in bed and shut the door. She smiles and shouts when I walk into a room. She laughs at the strangest of things. She’s as cute as a button. And I love her to bits.

Ghengis: you are awesome.

On a much less “I love my baby” note, got out on the bike today. Two weekends in a row. Result. It was pretty freakin’ cold though. Think I’ll have to look out thicker gloves and socks.

Watched the 100th Grand Designs which was an old water tower in london. It was quite incredible. It was also verging on the obscene that it was accommodation for just 2 people. We also caught up on Modern Family which is just brilliant.

you: so why have you chosen to document Ghengis’ awesomeness now?
me: so that when she’s a teenager and I haven’t had a civil word out of her for months and all she want’s to do is drink cheap cider ‘down the park’ wearing clothing that I deem inappropriate while hanging around with boys that I think are unworthy of breathing the same air as her, that I’ll have a pleasant memory to remember her by.
you: you hold out such high hopes for the future. And by writing it down you’ve no doubt jinxed her awesomeness.
me: that’s one of the ‘various reasons’ I haven’t written it down before.
you: and I’m fairly sure it’s not a smile and shout of greeting, are you sure it’s not a grimace and request for you to leave
me: you couldn’t even let me have that.

Oct 26 2012

Friday 26 October 2012: This would be so much easier….

….if you’d come out from behind the backdrop. Through to Edinburgh to do a kids portrait session for Colin.

Back home and met the missus in town for some lunch. We even independently selected the same lamp for the lounge. So we bought it.

Then went for a wander in the grounds of Callendar House. It was awesome. All the trees had loads of autumnal colour in them. It was sunny, crisp and clear. There was even a wedding on.

you: I hope you got something better than this for Colin
me: ach aye of course, but I liked this.
you: And by “independently selected” you mean the missus said she liked one and like a spineless chump you agreed
me: no! I was in the shop before her and had a wander round and chose one.
you: you actively participated in choosing a lamp?
me: aye.
you: you’re a spineless nancy then
me: I cannae win with you
you: and you never will

Oct 25 2012

Thursday 25 October 2012: Cordon Bleu(rgh)

After last nights horrible realisation, this is all that I have eaten today. It’s a savory biscuit butty of red chard, with a salad cream jous.

Getting my camera gear ready for a photo shoot tomorrow, and that’s about it really. Another day has passed by

you: and the rest!
me: no, that’s it, really
you: and your porridge?
me: oh yeah, there was that, but i swapped the vanilla and sugar for salt and pepper
you: boak! and the baked spud?
me: oh yeah, there was that too. But I swapped the tuna mayo for beans
you: and no tea?
me: oh yeah, there was that, half a pizza and some mushroom pasta….but I dropped from about half a kilo of pasta to about 400g
you: and the crisps?
me: only a handful….and I have to at least keep eating them until they are gone.
you: and the 20 cups of hot chocolate at work
me: that’s one area I actually did improve. Only water today
you: I’m sure the pounds are falling off
me: thanks
you: sarcasm.

Oct 24 2012

Wednesday 24 October 2012: Read it and weep

And there it is. I’ve ticked over 14stone. That’s me the heaviest I’ve ever been. I reckon if I cry enough I’ll lose the weight through tears. I’m blaming the sausage roll and the three flapjack mini bites I had today. I rarely have anything other than porridge for breakfast, and I virtually never eat brought in cakes at work*. Things are gonna change.

you: “ticked over”?! Who are you kidding? That’s 5lb over!
me: no it’s 2oz
you: can you read? It says 14 5 2
me: yeah but my camera is 5lb exactly
you: aye right!
me: it is! With the lens and the battery grip it’s 5lb exactly
you: whatever. And I’d be blaming the beer and crisps last night instead if I were you
me: hmm, aye, I do
you: what are you bothered about yer weight for anyway?
me: Ach 14st is just a limit I have always set myself
you: so how are things gonna change?
me: I’m gonna eat more cake and crisps
you: eh?! Not the change I was expecting!
me: ah, see, I like to keep you guessing
you: yer still a lard@ss.

*unless they are home made.

Oct 23 2012

Tuesday 23 October 2012: It’s in there somewhere.

Honestly, it is. There’s a big massive statue. But it was a bit of a pea-souper on the way to the boozer tonight so it’s quite well hidden.

Mum has come up for the night. Colin was the first to ask if she’d be made to sleep in the cupboard again. Even though it never was a cupboard.

No food at the boozer. Instead I had about a kilo of crisps when I got home. MMMmmmm salt and vinegar

you: what’s this meant to be?
me: it’s just a view.
you: where’s the cowboy?
me: what do you mean?
you: you went to the Abbotsford and didn’t blip the cowboy?
me: what are you on about. You always moan when I blip the cowboy
you: well now I’m moaning because you didn’t
me: aw what! I even took his picture and didn’t blip it because I didn’t want any grief off of you
you: well you’re getting some anyway. And you didn’t answer Colin’s question
me: mum’s getting the spare room. A bed and everything
you: about freakin’ time.

Oct 22 2012

Monday 22 October 2012: Green: Go. Orange: Slow

I don’t know how but I’d ended up with a shonky old cable in my network that was really…

you: boring

…killing my transfer….

you: zzzzzz


you: could you be any more dull?
me: just one of those days
you: tell me something interesting
me: I had a baked potato for lunch
you: with tuna, peas, and stir fry veg
me: how did you know?
you: because your diet is still just as dull as the rest of you

Oct 21 2012

Sunday 21 October 2012: How to look good naked.

Reckon Gok Wan might have been in town working on these trees. I just think they look a bit odd, one in full, eh, bloom, and the other as bare as the day it was born.

Got out on the road bike today. It was a cracking day for it.

Fitted the new light that has been sitting on the floor for about a month. It looks good. Then went and got 2 new wall lights and put them up too. I’m not too keen on them, they are too bright. Had to replace the double dimmer with a regular double switch. Took me a while to realise that the reason the wall lights weren’t working wasn’t because I had wired the switch wrong, but because I hadn’t put the bulbs in

you: moron
me: I know I know.
you: how long did you waste?
me: just a minute or two
you: or ten
me: ok 5.
you: on the bike today and yesterday? Bit of a health drive
me: naw it was just because Jenelope was around
you: oh well that’s nice. You purposely avoided her!
me: No! When she is here playing with Ghengis it means I can scoot out for a bit guilt free
you: except for feeling guilty for avoiding your sister
me: I don’t! Ok just a wee bit for going cycling as she was leaving
you: some big bro’ you are.

Oct 20 2012

Saturday 20 October 2012: I wish I thought of that

Just what I’m always after but never have to hand. A torch with a built in calculator. Although seeing as the screen wasn’t back-lit, and to be using a torch you’d expect it to be dark, I don’t know how you are meant to do your sums and read the results. A flaw in the design! I’ll have to get my version out pronto.

Down to an 80’s fayre in town this arvo. There wasn’t all that much there, but it passed a bit of time.

Went to Frankie & Benny’s for lunch. I haven’t been for 10 years, as when I went then it was crap. There was a voucher for a tenner off in the paper though, so we went. It was actually not too bad. My pizza was tasty and the service was good. Jenelope got a potato mountain with her lunch. They must throw so much away in leftovers which I think is a shame.

Fish and chips for tea and watch a bit of strictly. Day done.

you: Pizza for lunch and fish and chips for tea?
me: aye, what of it?
you: I can hear your arteries clogging up
me: I made it out on the mountain bike for the first time in months.
you: and?
me: that’s got to count for something?
you: how long were you out?
me: eh, half an hour or so?
you: that probably covers about half of the salad cream you slathered over everything
me: I didn’t have any!
you: really?
me: ok ok, half a gallon.
you: thought as much.

Oct 19 2012

Friday 19 October 2012: Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

No, it’s Super Ghengis. She had her first go in her bouncer today. She didn’t so much bounce, more just a one footed pirouette.

I phoned 10 nurseries today to see about getting some portrait gigs. Of the 10 I called, 8 have either had a photographer in within the last week, or have someone coming in within the next week. Unbelievable. The other two asked for more info and gave me email addresses. One of them bounced.

All of which makes the fact that I got a bill from Her Majesty’s Revenue and Frickin’ Customs for national insurance contributions all the more annoying. I wish I had never registered as self employed for the purposes of making a bit of money from photos but doing it legitimately. I already pay NIC’s through work. Why the hell am I having to double up on them?

Took a couple of images in to a local large scale printer to see how they turn out. Prices seem reasonable and I like to give business to local places when I can. Half the time they seem like numpties and I’d rather just give my business to some slick online operation, but these folk seem to be on top of their game so fingers crossed.

you: Hang him!
me: who?
you: you!
me: for what?
you: treason
me: why?
you: since when did HMRC become HMRFC
me: Her Majesty’s Rugby Football Club. I’d like to see that
you: ooh so would I. Hang on I was trying to get you hung/hanged/hunged and now I’m agreeing with you
me: these aren’t the droids you’re looking for
you: these aren’t the droids we’re looking for. What the….

Oct 18 2012

Thursday 18 October 2012: Neither did J.R.R Tolkien…


There are a lot of coffee shops around Edinburgh that claim that portions of the Harry Potter series was written in them. I dare say that this isn’t the only one that has something to this up either. But I don’t frequent coffee shops so I’ll never know. This one, (artisan roast on broughton st) smelled awesome though. So perhaps I should. Frequent coffee shops that is.

I enjoyed the harry potter series. The earlier ones more than the latter. I’m looking forward to reading them with Ghengis when she’s old enough.

Out for a bit of lunch with JJ. Taste of Italy. Calzone. Predictable

you: surely you mean reading ‘to’ Ghengis, not ‘with’
me: no. She’ll be reading them to me for my bedtime story
you: that’s not how it works. And your lunch choice isn’t predictable, it’s boring
me: no, it’s safe. I know I’ll enjoy it.
you: live on the edge man! Try something different
me: what if it’s not as good
you: then you’ll know not to try it again
me: but that will have been a wasted opportunity when I could have had something I’d know I would have enjoyed
you: if that’s the case why don’t you just have nachos for every meal?
me: oooh can I?
you: I give up.

Oct 17 2012

Wednesday 17 October 2012: C.B.A

Here we have Simba looking forlornly out of the window. He doesn’t really have any other looks

you: and that’s it?
me: aye
you: you just looked round your room for anything you haven’t blipped before didn’t you
me: yup
you: no effort put in what so ever.
me: not today.

Oct 16 2012

Tuesday 16 October 2012: That’s not a cowboy hat!

I think that tonight was the first time ever that the cowboy wasn’t in the Abbotsford. So instead we have the only hat toting punter that was there.

Got home from the boozer and the missus hasn’t had her tea yet, which annoyed me. The reason? Because she was writing our christmas cards. They are all done apparently!

Freakin’ horrid morning. Soaked through before I got to the station. I was on the verge of buying some waterproof trousers….but didn’t. I did find a local company that I think might be good for large scale printing though. Think I’ll try them out on Friday.

Had a waltz around the kitchen with Ghengis last night. Practicing for 15 years and 7 months time when I marry her off

you: aye right!
me: what?
you: like you’re gonna let Ghengis get married at 16!
me: hey, if the cheque’s big enough I’m not gonna argue
you: so basically you are selling your daughter
me: I’ve got to fund a yacht somehow!
you: like that’s gonna happen
me: aye I know. There will be at least a 16 year vetting period before anyone will be able to prove their worth
you: 16? Bit excessive no?
me: not for the first round I don’t think

Oct 15 2012

Monday 15 October 2012: Icy dicey

Some cool crazy paving ice on the car this morning. So I took it easy on the cycle to the station, but the paths were clear of ice. All the same I have scoped out a possible alternative route that might skip some of the black ice. Can’t decide if 40m of icy grass on a 30degree slope on slick road tyres will be any safer though.

Had a go with DB’s 5diii today. I’m not jealous at all. Honestly I’m not. No really, I’m not. Convinced?

you: so?
me: what?
you: weight? yesterday you said you’d post an update
me: oh yeah, eh, no.
you: no what? No you’re not telling or no you didn’t weigh yourself
me: no I didn’t weight myself
you: why not?
me: because I’ve got, eh, issues
you: well we all know that, you’re mentally unstable
me: no, eh, blockages
you: too much information
me: you asked!
you: I shan’t be making that mistake again!

Oct 14 2012

Sunday 14 October 2012: Inappropriate

Went a wander around Gartmorn Dam this arvo. I hadn’t expected the missus to want to go all that far, so hadn’t really thought about appropriate footwear. But she set off like a train and wanted to go right round, so we did, through boggy bits, puddles and all. A couple of piggybacks were required to get past the worst of it. I was surprised she was able to carry me……

Couldn’t find the restaurant we were going to go to for lunch in Alloa, but I have a suspicion it would have been closed anyway. Some really smart looking new buildings in Alloa which I was surprised at. The college looked quite neat. Anyway, we ended up at McDonalds. Big Tasty for me. Which means big calories and a side helping of guilt.

you: Fast food 2 days in a row?
me: hmmm
you: after a week on holiday eating cake
me: hmmm
you: I reckon you’re gonna be over yer 14stone limit
me: I think you might be right
you: go and stand on the scales
me: no
you: why?
me: I’m scared to
you: go on you nancy
me: tomorrow….

Oct 13 2012

Saturday 13 October 2012: Super crisp

Got an email the other day from the organisers of the mountain bike race I photographed a couple of months ago asking if they can license one on my photos. I’m only getting 30 quid for it, but it was still cool to be asked. They might be wanting another one too. 6000 tourism flyers it’s going on. Shame I can’t sneak a credit on there.

It was looking like I wasn’t going to get out of the house all day, so I took Ghengis out for a walk. On the way I sold another print! A neighbour down the road is wanting a 3rd copy of a photo for a christmas present. Result.

As it turns out, I did get out of the house….to go to the chippy. Not often I photograph non-nacho/non-christmas meals, but we have been getting F&C so often recently that I figured I may as well. Land and Sea chippy in Polmont. Saw it mentioned as a finalist in some chippy of the year competition so gave it a go. And it’s good. You can opt to pay an extra 10p to get their “super crisp” batter which is thinner and crispier and worth every penny. Probably.

you: what the frick is that?
me: what?
you: that green pile in the background?
me: mushy peas
you: you big southern pansy. Scotsmen don’t have mushy peas
me: that’s the missus influence
you: and what’s that in the tub?
me: tartare sauce
you: now you’re taking the mick. I bet you had a bit of lemon too
me: I did actually
you: I didn’t think my opinion of you could get much lower
me: what should I have had then?
you: salt and sauce. No more, no less.

Oct 12 2012

Friday 12 October 2012: The generation game (holiday day 7)

Last day of our holiday, we headed home via B.C. Arrived and no one was around, so let ourselves in and lit the fire. Open fires, you cannae beat them. Dad got home from work not long after we arrived, then mum got back. Then later on in the arvo Grandma came round too. So here we have Ghengis staring intently at her Grandpa, with her great Grandma sitting on the chair by the fire. Grandma (in relation to me, not to Ghengis) is 90 next year. And she’s still bombing around in her beat up corsa. Entering every WRI competition under the sun, and visiting “the old people” in homes to cheer them up. Not sure how well having someone 20 years your senior come in under their own steam to no doubt do a jig and offer you some home made treacle toffee goes down to be honest.

Finally got round to getting some whisky and a few bottles of wine sorted out to give to my old scout leaders. They’ve been doing it a long time and I only recently thought about the fact they have been giving up their Friday nights week in week out for years on end. Good on them. Good on anyone that does that sort of thing actually.

you: no way she does that?
me: what?
you: rallying
me: what are you talking about?
you: you claimed your grandma enters all the world rally competitions
me: eh. naw, I said WRI, not WRC
you: so what’s WRI
me: Womens Rural Institute
you: making jam and cakes and growing flowers and things
me: for the competitions aye. Apparently if she had grown different flowers and made different cakes she might have won the cup this year
you: just like if you had done the training and weren’t a lard ass you might have won the tour de france
me: just like that. Except she did get a pile of firsts and seconds on individual categories as it was
you: you could win the ‘lacking any form of talent’ category at least.

Oct 11 2012

Thursday 11 October 2012: Carlisle Nandos (holiday day 6)

The photo isn’t the Carlisle branch of Nandos. It’s the Cathedral. Just in case you wondered.

Minging weather today. Very wet. First bad weather of the holiday though so I won’t complain too much.

We arrived. We parked. We went to Nandos. We went to an M&S cafe to feed Ghengis. We went to the cathedral. We left.

So, not exactly the highlight of the holiday, but it was awright.

you: poorly?
me: naw I’m fine, why?
you: the words ‘I won’t complain too much’ passed your lips
me: ach I wasn’t that bothered, it was still quite a nice day
you: and did you actually eat anything in either of the eateries?
me: oh yeah. Both actually
you: you had the mildest nandos sauce didn’t you?
me: no, the hot actually.
you: and you were sweating buckets?
me: aye, medium for me next time
you: knew it. Pansy

Oct 10 2012

Wednesday 10 October 2012: Croquet and Pimms (holiday day 5)

We headed through to Levens Hall today. According to the sign in the garden they have the ‘best example of a topiary garden in the world’. If that’s the best then I think I’ll buy some bushes and a hedge trimmer and take the title. It was nice, but not one was shaped like an animal. Surely that’s a fail. Some of them were cool though, and I liked the way some of them wobbled like jelly if you shoogled them. Anyway, we had a nice wander round.

Then we had a wander round the inside of the house, and it was rather nice too. All except for the frickin’ awful ‘art’ plastered all over the place. Not the traditional framed paintings, no issues with those. But some ‘artist’ has wangled her way in and got permission to sit her overpriced rubbish all over the house. It wasn’t just that it was awful, but it spoiled the look of the house too. And every member of staff we asked about them said the same.

The missus feels a bit poorly. Meaning I accidentally ate a pasta meal that was for 2, as she didn’t fancy any.

you: quite the art critic eh? Who are you to judge it?
me: I think in this case I’m right
you: you always say that when you can’t back your opinions up
me: I think that the staff comments backed me up
you: and who are they to judge?
me: and the overheard comments as we walked round
you: a couple of blue rinsers, who are they to judge?
me: and the fact they haven’t sold one all summer to any of the thousands of visitors they have had
you: hmmm, ok, on this one occasion I’m going to accept that your opinion has been adequately backed up. It must have been bad
me: it was
you: ok ok , don’t get above your station.

Oct 9 2012

Tuesday 9 October 2012: Talkin’ Tarn…. (holiday day 4)

…. sounds like some radio 4 show.

Ghengis has been extremely shouty today. She also rolled from her tummy to her back for the first time. She didn’t manage to do it again though, so as with most things she does I think I’ll just blame it on wind.

Did 2 laps of Talkin Tarn this arvo. It was rather nice. Yet another day of lovely sunshine. Can’t beat it.

So with a whopping 2.6 miles of exercise under my belt all there was to do was to put a lamb and apple burger under it too. So I did. At Lanercost Priory. We didn’t actually go in to the priory as that cost money. Instead we went in the the church, which was free. And freezing. Even so there was a wee old lady in there manning the stall. I felt a bit sorry for her having to spend hours in there by herself, so I bought some jam off her.

you: yer all heart. The bits of you that aren’t lard anyway.
me: I like to help where I can
you: no. You like jam.
me: well there is that too.
you: pleased to see your not being a total tight @rse while you are on your holidays…oh no…hang on…you are. It’s only £3.50 to get in to the priory
me: yeah but had I paid that then I wouldn’t have had any change to buy jam off the old lady and she might have gone all day without a sale
you: you really are always thinking of others
me: and nachos.

Oct 8 2012

Monday 8 October 2012: Costa del Keswick

Pootled through to Keswick today. The weather was absolutely glorious. Sat outside a cafe in the sun and had lunch. It reminded me of being on the slopes in France, it was lovely.

Went to the Keswick Puzzling place which was good fun, all sorts of optical illusions and the like.

This is the last time Ghengis comes on holiday with us though. In future she can go her holidays to Grandma and Grandpa, or W.E, or Aunty Jenelope, or Em, or failing any of those she can go to the cattery with Molly. And if even they wont take her then it’ll have to be uncle Rich. She did provide some entertainment though as she appears to have turned in to a full time raspberry blowing machine.

you: Yesterday you tootled and today you pootled. The excitement never stops
me: It was a nice relaxing drive, and a nice relaxing afternoon. I’ll take that any day
you: dull. And Ghengis’ purpose isn’t to provide you with entertainment
me: I am aware of this. She could at least pay her own way though
you: I’m pretty sure that’s your responsibility too. Surely you didn’t have to pay to get her in to the museum?
me: no
you: or at the cafe?
me: no
you: so basically she didn’t have ‘her own way’ to pay
me: ok ok she could have paid me to get in since I’m having to do all the driving and pay for the petrol
you: I have nothing but pity for that poor child.

Oct 7 2012

Sunday 7 October 2012: Hexham – closed for business

Tootled through to Hexham today. It was closed. So we went for lunch in marks and spencer. Then we did some food shopping….in marks and spencer. Then we fed the baby….in marks and spencer. So we could give the Hexham branch of M&S quite a thorough review.

Lovely sunny day but a cool breeze, which dropped to leave a lovely sunny and warm afternoon. We found a park to sit in and it was grand.

Ghengis continued her holiday objections last night. She was better through the day though until she decided to stage a dirty protest with an overflowing nappy….then pee’d in the bath when we were trying to clean her up. Thanks kiddo

you: I’d be protesting too if all you thought to do was ‘tootle to hexham’
me: what’s wrong with that?
you: not very exciting is it?
me: is that what holidays are meant to be?
you: well I’m sure they are meant to be more exciting than spending an afternoon in M&S?
me: we went and sat in the park too
you: so basically you spent the day sitting
me: we thought of stopping at a tea-room too.
you: you didn’t even go to the effort of actually stopping though
me: we were getting tired.
you: from doing what?! I’m out of here before the excitement kills me.

Oct 6 2012

Saturday 6 October 2012: McDonalds and Monasteries

Except it’s not a monastery, it’s Penrith Castle. But they were eating a McDonalds. The minute I see folk eating outdoors I expect them to dump their litter and it stresses me out. They didn’t. Gold star for the welly wearing family.

We headed down to Penrith this afternoon for no particular reason, just for a wander around really. So that’s what we did. Had a nice pulled beef roll for lunch, that was probably the highlight. Nice bit of steak for tea too actually.

Ghengis doesn’t appear to like holidays, she was up from 1am-4am, and that’s pretty much unheard of.

It turns out going on holiday with a baby isn’t really a holiday at all. It’s just dealing with a baby somewhere unfamiliar.

you: so the highlight of your day was food based
me: yeah I guess it was
you: as is often the case
me: yeah I guess it is
you: can you stop guessing and make a decision
me: I guess so
you: Right, that’s enough. I’m aff.
me: I guess I’ll see you later then.


Oct 5 2012

Friday 5 October 2012: crime of the century

Help! Someone has stolen Ghengis’ tongue and replaced it with one that doesn’t fit in her head!

Easy drive down to our new home for the week….except for the poo explosion..not mine I hasten to add. The barn is lovely. It must just have been converted recently because it’s all in mint condition. I need soft-close drawers in my life.

Got a bit overwhelmed looking through the folder of tourist brochures….being on holiday is hard work.

you: she’s gonna love you for this one when she’s older
me: I know, I did think about that
you: then you went ahead and posted it anyway
me: looks kinda like it
you: and what kind of statement is “I need soft close drawers in my life”
me: I dunno. I just like them. I tried to slam one here and it laughed in my face
you: everyone does that. Haven’t you done anything of interest with your first day off?
me: eh, watched the opening night of strictly. Victoria Pendleton was pretty bad
you: I said anything of interest.
me: oh, eh, no.

Oct 4 2012

Thursday 4 October 2012:just like me

Met gwak for a bit of lunch today. Taste of Italy > Calzone. Love it. When we left it started to rain, and the only place we could find shelter was the Theater Royal. So we had a pint.

The perfect way to start a weeks holiday really.

Looking forward to spending a week with the missus and Ghengis. How long that will last who knows. I mean I know I can spend time with the missus, but what if Ghengis starts to grate on me after a few days?

you: did you really just say that?
me: what?
you: that you think your beautiful baby girl is going to grate on you after a few days
me: I didn’t say that. What I said was “what if”. For the last 3 months I’ve only ever seen her for a few hours at a time. This is a whole week. What if her chat is rubbish?
you: then she’ll be just like her dad. Is that what you meant by the title?
me: no, I was referring to the beer. Bitter and Twisted

Oct 3 2012

Wednesday 3 October 2012:raar

Bit of a wander at lunchtime turned up this wee fella. I quite like him. I quite like stencil graffiti.

Left work early to come home and see what the girls were up to. Ghengis was nice and smiley and playing in her bouncy chair. The missus was playing * Dash on the ipad, where the * can be replaced by seemingly anything you want: Dinner, wedding, hotel. In fact I don’t think I’ve been able to even touch the ipad for a fortnight. And if she’s not playing that then the ipad is randomly piping out homer simpson quotes even though the sound is turned off which is very annoying

you: oh is she playing the simpsons:tapped out
me: I believe so yes
you: you’ll have to tell her to come and visit my town
me: not you too?
you: “rather them than me”
me: that’s the one, why does it keep saying that? It’s doing my head in
you: no idea, but now I know it annoys you, do you know what?
me: what?
you: “rather them than me”

Oct 2 2012

Tuesday 2 October 2012: Get to the hills

No idea why, but this dude was out jogging with skis on his back. Perhaps he’s heard of a dump of snow in Gorgie and wants to get there before it melts. That’s certainly where he was heading.

Good night at the boozer, first time I’ve been for a while. Just me, Oz, and Colin. Colin mentioned “White Lightnings leaving do” and I nearly fell off my seat! WHAT?! Where’s he off to? Oh, just leaving his job? Phew. And, relax.

you: perhaps he’s out with skis on his back just to give himself more of a challenge
me: perhaps
you: not something you’d be familiar with
me: what?
you: challenging yourself
me: I challenge myself all the time
you: aye? What was the last challenge you set yourself, and yesterdays “sit on the couch” doesn’t count
me: eh….
you: you see? Nothing. You’re just trundling along
me: aye well, it suits me fine at the moment
you: loser.

Oct 1 2012

Monday 1 October 2012: Phew

I have a photo of Ghengis for every day since she was born…..except yesterday. I spent so long and got so annoyed with the isofix shenanigans yesterday that I completely forgot to take a photo. Very very annoyed about this. And today the only photo I took was this one, and even it’s just a crappy “I’ll just take something so if I forget later I still at least have something” shot……and I didn’t take any more. She seems to like her new seat though. She also seems to be starting to hold her arms up when she wants lifted, but that might just be in my imagination.

Tonight I challenged myself to sit on the couch the entire evening and eat biscuits. I succeeded

you: well, you’ve got to be successful at something I suppose
me: yup, I’ll take it.