May 31 2012

Thursday 31 May 2012: Quack

So frickin’ stressed out. Every feed of Ghengis is taking at least 2hours. The missus is utterly shattered and upset. Sorry kiddo, I think it’s gonna be formula for you.

I need the pub and some nachos.

you: dream on.

May 30 2012

Wednesday 30 May 2012: Bomb site.

In general we live(ed) in a fairly tidy house. Ok my study is a bit of a tip, but the rest of the place was never gonna appear on "how clean is your house" with Kim and Aggie coming in, spraying lemon juice liberally on all surfaces, claiming it’s clean, and walking out again. But the addition of one tiny person has changed all that. The place looks like a container full of baby paraphernalia has been blow up to distribute it’s goods, seemingly at random, all over the house.

What the frick is going on. And why does the microwave seem to have been running solidly for the last 12 hours with the steriliser in it, when Ghengis has only had one bottle feed? There are nine frickin bottles all over the place.

This is hard. Single parents, I doff my cap. People with twins or more I don’t think cap doffing is enough.

you : and who ever said it was going to be easy?
me: no-one I guess
you: so stop yer whining
me: but I’m so ti……
you: shut up!
me: but, like, baby elephants are up and walking in a matter of minutes, and know to go for a crap in the woods.
you: well you should just have gone to the zoo then.

May 29 2012

Tuesday 29 May 2012: No room at the inn.

There she is. Taking up the entire bed. Very much like she has taken up the entire day. How can someone so small be so demanding? How can someone so small fill so many nappies? How can someone so small get the attention of 3 healthcare professionals in one day(and be fine)? It seems to have been a hell of a long day, but I can’t remember a lot that happened. Other than I had sausages for tea.

It’s ok though: If I’ve understood the books correctly then Ghengis will be potty trained by next week, and hopefully we’ll be able to get the stabilisers off her bike the week after that. All good.

you: good sausages were they?
me: aye, tesco finest cumberland sausages. Courtesy of Em who sent the missus a shop of all the things that she hasn’t been able to eat for the last 9 months, and she threw some things in there for me too. Which was lovely of her.
you: good enough sausages to be the only thing you can remember from your first day at home with yer missus and bairn.
me: eh….hang on….it’s coming to me…..
you: in your own time
me: it’s on the tip of my tongue…..
you: hurry up eh
me: oh oh oh, got it. She has a name other than Ghengis now. Isabella Rose. I think Ghengis Wolf has a bit more zing to it, but Isabella Rose is more befitting of a wee girl. She’ll always be Ghengis to me though.

May 28 2012

Monday 28 May 2012: Job(s) done.

Baby asleep, deck cleaned, blip taken while holding the camera up on my shoulder with one hand. Job(s) done.

The missus and Ghengis are back from hospital. Hurray! What the frick were the hospital thinking though. Neither of us have any form of qualification in childcare:

Why is she crying?
Why is she that colour?
Why is she coughing?
Are the hiccups a life threatening condition for 2 day olds?

And it felt like I’d won a gold medal at the upcoming olympics when all I’d actually managed to do was get her arm into her sleep suit.

Before I was able to pick them up I bought a pressure washer and cleaned the deck. It turns out spraying your name into the grime with the super powered pencil jet isn’t all that clever an idea, it’s still there even after I cleaned the rest.

you: ah, obviously!
me: what?
you: you did what every man about to pick up their new bairn does, you buy a pressure washer.
me: it needed done.
you: and which event would you do in the upcoming olympics?
me: swimming
you: but you can’t swim, and I don’t think drowning counts.
me: I reckon I could take a good shot at Eric ‘The Eel’ Moussambani’s record

May 27 2012

Sunday 27 May 2012: Buttercups and bugs

Another gloriously sunny and hot day. Nipped out for a quick blast on the bike, and spoke to most of the neighbours too. The earliest I was allowed to visit to the hospital was 2pm, so for the rest of the morning I paced up and down the garden like a caged animal.

Ghengis and the missus are doing ok. The missus is in a fair bit of pain with her stomach though….understandable I suppose.

Ghengis even made it to the spotlight page. It’s a long time since I’ve been there, but it made me smile when I told the missus our kid had hit the spotlight. I’ve decided it’s a sign of a future career. Holywood here we come.

The bro in law popped in to visit, and we went a quick wee blast in the boxster with the roof down. In weather like this I need one of them. Mum, dad, and Jenelope came too. (not in the boxster, that would have been odd in a 2 seater)

you: really?
me: what?
you: one day old and already you’ve lost interest enough that you don’t blip your new baby?
me: not blip her, yes, not take her photo, no.
you: and you reckon a boxster is a suitable family vehicle?
me: oh yeah, they actually have a reasonable amount of storage space in the front boot.
you: I was talking about for the baby, not the shopping.
me: so was I.
you: does anyone have the number of the child welfare department

May 26 2012

Saturday 26 May 2012: Welcome to the world Ghengis Wolf.

Ghengis Wolf : Ok so it doesn’t really suit my new wee girl. It’s the name I wanted to call the baby if we had a boy though(note, "wanted", not was allowed to), and as we haven’t decided on a name yet, Ghengis it is….for the time being….. at least in my head.

Anyway, the missus went in to labour about 30 minutes after I posted last nights blip, so no inducing required.

Folk have described the labour process to me as ‘magical’ and ‘a great journey’ or ‘an adventure’, personally I thought it was fcukin’ traumatic. 14 hours of watching your missus in utter agony while you stand there, as much use as a chocolate frickin’ fireguard, unable to do anything of value other than tell her to breath, which I’m fairly sure she would do anyway.

And then there’s the machine that played us the babies heartbeat for about 5 solid hours. Ever time it dropped or sped up I cacked myself, and the time it dropped so much the midwife hit the button to get assistance my own heart just about stopped.

And there’s the "do you want to cut the cord?" question. Too frickin right I don’t, that thing freaks me out. I’ll take the baby when it’s washed and clothed and has a part time job if it’s all the same with you.

Then after all that effort you have to stand by as yer missus has a c-section because the baby wasn’t in the right position anyway, aye that’s a happy moment. Eh, naw.

Then you hear yer bairn crying for the first time and all that anguish and worry and stress just melts away. Does it bollocks!

Ghengis you have scarred me for life. But I still love you.

you: Oh cool name, I think you should stick with it
me: aye, of all the texts I sent out I think it was about 50/50 for/against
you: boys vs girls?
me: aye, pretty much
you: thought it might be.
me:right, I’m knackered. I’ve seen the sun rise and set twice now without a kip.
you: oh poor diddums. Congrats to yer missus.

ps. A heartfelt thanks to everyone who wished us well yesterday and in the leadup to Ghengis’ arrival.


May 25 2012

Friday 25 May 2012: There’s a new sheriff in town

Got up this morning and it was drizzly and grey. So I went and paid all the credit cards, looked out the window and it was glorious sunshine. I’m sure there’s an idiom in there somewhere.

Went another long walk with the missus. Sat on the deck. Had a nap in the hammock. Had another bbq. Watched a couple of episodes of pointless. And that was that. Our last ever day as a duo. Eek.

Kinda feel I should write a bit more on the eve of this missus gettin induced. But I don’t really know what I’m thinking.

you: so, all set for the big event?
me: i have no freakin’ idea.
you: bags packed?
me: yeah I’ve got everything, I should have enough to live in the wilderness for 6 months which should be enough time for me to get my head around things.
you: idiot.

Smashing Pumpkins : Tonight tonight.

May 24 2012

Thursday 24 May 2012: Snags

Bailed out of work at 3:34. Was home and out on the deck by 4:20. And that’s it, I don’t return to work until the 25th of June. June! That’s a whole freakin’ month off. I’ve been dancing round the house and garden in excitement most of the night. If the weather continues like it is now it will be awesome. Come to think of it it’s gonna be awesome whatever the weather.

BBQ’s are always a bit of an effort when there are only two of you. Maybe the baby will like bbq, then the effort will be for 3 of us and much more acceptable.

Lunch in the park in the sunshine with sbarlster today, where we used the power of the interweb to identify a tree. It was a Lime. I’m not sure I have ever recognised a lime before. Now I will

Community woodland group AGM tonight. So I popped along. One bloke was wanting a marshy area fenced off because some kids had got stuck in it and it was dangerous. IT’s THE COUNTRYSIDE!

you: no need to shout
me: ach I know, but it’s a bit stupid.
you: I’ll agree for once. Paint drying
me: what about it?
you: it sounds more interesting that identifying trees
me: it’s an important skill that will be lost to the mists of time if we don’t practice
you: you are freakin’ weird.
me: did I mention I have a month off?
you: yes. And I dare say it won’t be the last time

Slow Club : It doesn’t always have to be beautiful.

did I mention I’m off for a month?

May 23 2012

Wednesday 23 May 2012: Scorchio

Second night this week we’ve sat out in the sun after work. Love it.

Went and sat in the park at lunchtime too.

And had a meeting up at the mothership so I went on the bike rather than take a cab

All in all a decent chunk of my day has been outside in the sunshine. Can’t complain.

Out on the bike for a quick wee run on the bike tonight. I don’t think it will have been enough to burn off the 3 cookies I ate from the latest batch the missus has baked.

you: have you got sunstroke?
me: not that I’m aware of, why?
you: because when have you ever said "can’t complain" before?
me: I’m not sure I like what you appear to be suggesting
you: and what might that be?
me: that I’m a moaning git
you: you said it, not me.

Paloma Faith : Picking up the pieces Now that’s a cracking chorus.

May 22 2012

Tuesday 22 May 2012: Footballing dug.

Today was the second time I’d seen this wee guy racing around the park with his football. He has some pretty good ball control. But I bet I can do more keepie-uppies than him though.

Went in to an art gallery at lunchtime today. There was one thing I liked and that was it. Would I pay £500 for it? No.

E+J popped in for a brew, they were up in town doing a recording for radio scotland.

Went a massive (comparatively) wander with the missus, who has an appointment to be induced on saturday. I hope it doesn’t come to that as she doesn’t want it to.

you: this is the graniest pile of cack picture you’ve posted for awhile
me: and you think I care? It’s got a footballing dog in it.
you: I can just about make it out through all the grain. And you are proud of the fact you think you can beat a dog at keepie-uppies?
me: I’m not sure proud is the right word. Just stating a fact.
you: I’m bored now
me: likewise.

Suede : The wild ones

May 21 2012

Monday 21 May 2012: Curse you seagull

There was only one thing that could sort today out, and that was to sit in the garden with the missus in the sunshine after work, with a cold beer and a book.

To top off a crappy day at work a seagull used me as target practice as I was cycling up to the station. I have no idea what the bloody thing had been eating! Thankfully it just hit one arm fairly low down so I was able to scrape the worst off on a wall and roll my sleeves up to mask the rest.

you: HAHAHAHhahahah
me: I thought you might find that amusing
you: ahhahhahahahhahha
me: ok ok a seagull sh!t on me it’s not that funny
you: oh but it is.
me: whatever man
you: hahah….oooh, just a minute…..let me catch my breath…..that’s better. HAHAHhahha

Placebo : Nancy boy (odd video. Mum, you won’t like it.)

May 20 2012

Sunday 20 May 2012: Here comes Thomas…..

…..that’s not freakin’ Thomas!

Bo’ness and Kinneil had one of their "day out with Thomas" weekends on so we went out to give them a wave.

Then we went for nachos…..and I didn’t have nachos. I think I may be coming down with something. The burrito was ace though.

Then I headed out on the bike. 24 miles in record time. It was a glorious day to be out on the bike, blue skies, green fields, and a tailwind.

you: that would be the burrito
me: eh?
you: the tailwind.
me: hardy ha.

Badly Drawn Boy : Once around the block

(note to self : had one of my best driving moments ever with this tune. White transit van – M74 – knackered : I had a can of red bull and this tune came on the radio and I went nuts for no apparent reason jumping around and singing. It’s the only time red bull has had any noticeable effect. For 4 minutes I was incredibly happy)

May 19 2012

Saturday 19 May 2012: Still nowt

A quick run on the bike and that was it. A wholly unproductive day for me……or the missus.

you: yet more foliage on a black background?
me: I liked the greens
you: so! It’s still boring
me: oh, I’m so sorry. What would you prefer?
you: a hamster in scuba gear
me: eh…
you: or a witch in flight
me: hmm, might be a tricky exposure, they only come out at night
you: something to get yer teeth into then. It’s got to be better than this dross
me: ….but I liked the greens
you: you said that already.

INXS : Mystify

May 18 2012

Friday 18 May 2012: Look the other way

I decided today that I would try some reverse psychology on the baby. By pretending I wasn’t interested maybe it would do something to get my attention. So I made a list of things I needed to do. And I got almost all of them done. I even added other things to the list that weren’t there at the start. Like replacing the loo seat, then putting the old one back on.

you: if all of your tasks were as worthwhile as the one you mentioned then it’s been quite a day! World peace must be one step closer.
me: Some of them actually had value
you: like?
me: sandpapering a scratched photo frame then applying shoe polish to make it black again
you: so now any time you touch the frame you get black hands, my that is useful
me: eh, I don’t think that happens.
you: but you haven’t checked. You are an idiot.
me: is that you trying out some reverse psychology on me?
you: no

Bobby Darin : Beyond the sea.

May 17 2012

Thursday 17 May 2012: Still waiting.

Ok baby, not only are you grounded, but I’m docking your pocket money too.

48 hours late is unacceptable.

you: you don’t deal with lateness very well do you?
me: no.
you: so you’re never late?
me: I try my best not to be.
you: maybe the baby is trying
me: it had better be making good use of this extra tummy time. Learning a language, potty training, 1 finger pull ups. All of these would be acceptable
you: eh, why a one finger pull up?
me: a baby doing one finger pull up and things like that? Guaranteed to win britains got talent. Ching ching.
you: you’re not gonna be a pushy parent at all, are you…..

Mousse T : Is it ‘cos I’m cool

May 16 2012

Wednesday 16 May 2012: Bump (3)

Still no appearance from baby. It’s quite a bit bigger than it was here though.

you: the photo on the wall on the right is wonky
me: thanks for pointing that out
you: you’re welcome. And has your missus not changed her jammies in 4 months
me: she’s not moved in 4 months
you: slap incoming I would say.

The Jam : Town called malice.

May 15 2012

Tuesday 15 May 2012: What do you have for us today Mr Postman?

Ah, the sram x7 rear deraileur I ordered….and what’s this?…..addressed to the missus…..shipped from Germany….ah, it’s a Baum Kuchen cake, of course, just what she wasn’t expecting! Just another instance of Auslaendar being, in the words of Tim Nice But Dim, a bloody nice bloke. Cheers dude.

And best of all was the packaging he used. No bubblewrap for him, oh no, wee packets of haribo, just the job.

So the baby was meant to be due today. It hasn’t made an appearance. If there’s one thing that gets on my nerves it’s people not showing up when they say they will. Baby, you’re grounded.

you: that’s a bit harsh!
me: it’s had nine months to get ready!
you: I dare say it’s not running around trying to find keys at the last minute, or doubling back to check that the iron is off
me: exactly, so what’s it playing at?
you: eh, growing? keeping healthy? keeping warm?
me: oh aye, well, fair enough. As you were baby…

Rick Astley : Never gonna give you up

May 14 2012

Monday 14 May 2012: New box of tricks

bought myself a wee home server. It’s a bargain….if the £100 cashback thing works out.

The missus is in pain all the time, I hope this bairn arrives on time. Due date tomorrow.

The only fun thing I have done today is drive the cat to it’s room like a remote control toy, using a laser pointer as the controller. Oh, and half an hour on the turbo trainer

you: the missus is in pain, so what do you do to help? You go and buy yourself gadgets. You are a prize git
me: if there was anything I could do to help I would
you: but in your mind there isn’t anything you can do so you bought yourself something instead.
me: there are only so many cups of tea one man can make
you: oh yes, tea, the great healer. Your cure for everything, a nice cup of tea.
me: I’m British, what do you expect?
you: you’re an idiot. So I don’t expect much

The Killers : Somebody told me

May 13 2012

Sunday 13 May 2012: Daylight, but only just

What a totally frickin horrible day. Got woken up by the wind this morning and it just got worse as the day went on. And it was tipping down too. Looking out at Friday’s view all I could see was sheets of rain.

Out for a bit of lunch with the missus then the bro in law popped round for a few hours. Hooked the boxster up to the laptop to turn off the MIL lamp. If you can’t see it it’s not a fault. Probably.

you: so now he’s following your school of mechanics? Turn off the warning light and the problem ceases to exist?
me: no! And that’s not what I do
you: it is, and it sounds like it
me: naw, he knows what it is, so if it doesn’t come back on with the new part then it’s fixed.
you: when you put it like that it sounds almost sensible….then I realise who’s saying it.

Aqua : Barbie girl (why on earth has that had 46,951,804 views?!

May 12 2012

Saturday 12 May 2012: They’re back (2012)

So, after thinking I saw one almost a month ago, then definitely seeing one last sunday, I have finally caught a house martin. There were loads of them about tonight. I think had I been able to catch the original sighting it would have been the earliest yet. But I didn’t, so this year I’m later than both 2010 and 2011.

Baby seat fitted in the car. Bumble bee baby costume purchased. We’re all set. T -3 days.

A dancing dog won britains got talent. They showed a clip of the lass that owned it receiving the dog as a christmas present when she was a bairn. Best christmas present…..ever. It just made her half a million quid. Incredible!

you: 2011’s is a swallow
me: and?
you: the others are house martins. It’s a null and void comparison
me: not in my head.
you: the majority of things in your head are null and void though. I’ll just add this to the list.
me: just you do that.
you: and have you ordered it yet?
me: what?
you: the puppy to present to yer bairn on day 1 in the hope it makes you half a million in a year or two.
me: naw, the dancing dog has been done. I’ve ordered ten amazonian tree frogs. They’ll make a great dance crew like diversity
you: another one for the null and void list.

Natalie Imbruglia : Torn

May 11 2012

Friday 11 May 2012: Evening sun

Photo session with baby E this morning. Got some lovely shots I reckon, as usual will have to wait on the actual verdict from the bairns mammy though. Still find it hard work, 18 month olds don’t have a lot of patience, or understanding. "My lights are over there…please go over there….no? oh well"

Then out for a bit of lunch with the missus. Scampi and chips at the golf club.

Then had to take Molly to the vets. That cat is no end of stress at the moment. She has started drooling all the time. Perhaps she’s just trying to help us out by forcing us to get a bit of practice in with a drooling, eating, sleeping machine.

you: since when did you play golf?
me: I don’t. The clubs haven’t been out of the loft in 10 years
you: yet you eat in "the golf club". Did you have yer slacks and a pringle jumper on?
me: we just happened to be at a golf club as that’s where the missus physio is
you: no answer on the slacks and pringle question. So I’ll take that as a yes
me: I don’t even own slacks and pringle jumper.
you: too late, I don’t believe you.

New Order : True Faith

May 10 2012

Thursday 10 May 2012: November rain.

6 degrees. That’s what it was today. 6 sodding (sodden) degrees. It didn’t stop raining until about 8pm. Have I been asleep for 5 months and woken up in November? This is rubbish. And I suspect the shopkeeper didn’t sell many of his postcards.

Oz mentioned at the boozer the other night that he was heading up to Aviemore and had read that all the ski runs at Cairngorm were expected to be open! This sign would kind of back that up. Ridiculous.

Bit of a climb tonight. Probably the last for a while

you: so you’re heading up to aviemore to get a bit of boarding in?
me: oh aye that would go down well: "honey, I’m home…..and I broke my wrist"
you: hmm, fair point.
me: and I know the wrath that that would incur. Kinda like Fat Mungo who has just done sommat to his achilles and has his foot in a cast
you: did you have something sympathetic to say?
me: that’s what you get for playing football?
you: not entirely sure you know the meaning of sympathetic.

Del Amitri : Always the last to know.

May 9 2012

Wednesday 9 May 2012: Tempting

I am so….freakin’….tired…at the moment. I don’t think I am gonna cope too well when the bairn makes an appearance. As long as the baby is self sufficient from day 1 I might just get by.

Got home to the smell of home baking again. A buttermilk loaf (delicious) and white chocolate and pecan cookies (also delicious). So I did a bit of a demolition job on them and then did 10 miles on the turbo trainer.

you: you know what I’m going to say regarding your tiredness right?
me: something along the lines of "man up princess"
you: spot on. And 2 days in a row yer "eating sensibly" has worked a treat.
me: hmm, yeah.
you: and good luck with that self sufficient baby thing. Idiot.

Bjork : It’s oh so quiet

May 8 2012

Tuesday 8 May 2012: Cherry

The cherry trees through the middle of the meadows are freakin’ ace. I love them.

Up to the golf tavern for nachos tonight. There was a mistake with the order, resulting in us getting chicken nachos. It’s just not quite right. They were ok. Huge portion, good, cheese dispersion, nice condiments. Actually I quite enjoyed them now I come to write it down. The nacho chips were a bit bland or something though. The others weren’t so keen on them, and the one bowl of chilli beef nachos that did turn up looked a wee bit peely-wally. All in all a decent effort, but certainly not award winning.

Cycled back across the meadows to catch the train. A lovely night, but not exactly the sort of temperatures we had a month and a half ago. I think that really was our summer.

you: well whadya know, it’s the nacho review show
me: I know you really look forward to my nacho reviews
you: can I speak for everyone when I say, no, we don’t
me: aw come on, where else do you get chat about cheese dispersion
you: and do you think there might be a reason for that?
me: the general population are yet to discover the delights of a well made bowl of nachos?
you: no. There are just more interesting things to talk about. Like paint drying.

Loveable Rogues : Love sick (skip to 2:45 to get past all the crap)

May 7 2012

Monday 7 May 2012: Too late for that.

No idea how many days I’ve taken a photo of this as a blip emergency. And now I’ve used it I need to find something else.

JH was in town today so a bunch of us went to meet him for lunch which was cool.

The rest of the day felt pretty much like drudgery. Hence the use of the emergency blip

Half an hour on the cross trainer tonight though, so at least I expended some energy. Perhaps not enough to cover the beer, 3 bits of bruschetta, a pizza and a bit, and then a big pile of creamy pasta and veg when I got home.

you: it’s days like this when you just shouldn’t bother
me: tell me about it.
you: and good to hear the diet is going well
me: it was a vege pizza
you: oh yeah that should help loads
me: and there were fresh tomatoes on the bruchetta
you: blimey you’d best go have some cake before you starve
me: thank you, I will.

Coolio : Gangsters paradise

May 6 2012

Sunday 6 May 2012: Steam power (2)

Headed out to see if I could catch the steam train I just missed (as a result of not knowing about it, not as a result of bad timing) last week. I guess it must have been a one off, as it didn’t go passed tonight.

Saw some swallows though. After thinking I had seen one almost a month ago I haven’t seen any since. And I still didn’t catch it on camera, so it doesn’t count.

you: this is turning in to a habit
me: what is?
you: titling your blips as something they’re not
me: well it beat the alternative
you: which was
me: not blipping at all.
you: blip fatigue setting in?
me: aye, I think it should be a clinically recognised condition

Belinda Carlisle : Circle in the sand (should have gone with heaven is a place on earth)

May 5 2012

Saturday 5 May 2012: Trail time

Out on the bike for a bit this arvo seeing as it was nice and sunny. They have managed to re-open the top section of trail which is good news. Saw 2 other people while I was out. So it’s still pretty much like having private cycle trails

Through to the swamp tonight. Once again my game strategy failed me

you: your strategy? Which is?
me: play a shot then wait until it’s my turn again
you: not really a strategy is it?
me: hmm, no, more a means of taking part

We like the moon

May 4 2012

Friday 4 May 2012: Winner. (2)

This was my winning entry from the family easter egg decorating competition. When the official adjudicator, ie grandma, was asked why it had won, the answer was :

"because his eyes are different sized".

So there you are. If you are boggle eyed and though you were a bit of a weird looker, then in grandma’s eyes you are a winner.

I’m guessing next year all entries will have boggle eyes.

you: eh….
me: spit it out.
you: easter was ages ago.
me: I know, but it was a slow day, and this was all I could be bothered doing.
you: And if this was the winner, the other entries must have been poor. Come on, you must have done something that was worth a photo?
me: got my eyes tested, out for lunch with the missus, watched pointless
you: Pointless?!
me: It’s our new thing to watch
you: and the title could even be referring to you.

Will Young : Leave right now

May 3 2012

Thursday 3 May 2012: Papped

Met Sutin for a bit of lunch today. We went to "Taste of Italy" just down from the playhouse. Third time I’ve been, and every time the pizza is great. It was just a shame about the company. ;-) Not entirely sure they have a wall of photographers, but they do. Anyway, it’s a grand place, I recommend it.

Got home and opened the door to the wonderful aroma of baking. The missus had made another batch of her world famous nuffins. Just as randomly shaped and un-risen as ever. Just as tasty too.

Also, it was verging on being warm when I got home, so I cut the grass, first time this year.

you: oh no!
me: what?
you: is it time to start getting your interesting* tales of grass cutting again
me: I’m not sure you’re entitled to use asterisks.
you: just you watch me.

Britney Spears : Toxic

* replace with whatever word you want that is the opposite of interesting.
you: see, asterisk used. Chew on that, wide boy.

May 2 2012

Wednesday 2 May 2012: The fallen.

And there it is. One tiny little logo that signifies I have joined the mindless goons and fanboys. One tiny little logo that signifies the end of my apple avoiding journey. One tiny little logo that signifies I am prepared to pay massively inflated prices.

But on the other hand it’s one tiny little logo that signifies I now have a nice shiny new toy. A shiny new toy that’s slick and easy to use. A shiny new toy that now the missus has got her hands on it I’ll probably never see again.

So. App suggestions on a postcard please.

A quick trip to the boozer tonight. And first wedding booked…bar the signing on the dotted line.

you: lets face it, you were always a mindless goon with or without an ipad.
me: some might agree
you: all will agree.
me: it’s meant to be a nice warm(ish) day tomorrow, which will make a nice change
you: what a random topic change.

The Beatles : Hey Jude.

May 1 2012

Tuesday 1 May 2012: Bump (2)

Another day that was far to cold for the time of year. I mean come on, it’s May.

Wee wander with the missus after work. T -14days. Eek.

Spent some of the evening trying to read up on how to set up a small business. Just too much info on the .gov websites, it made my head explode. Anyone know of any good books or sources of advice on the subject?

you: if your head explodes trying to read about what you need to do then you probably shouldn’t do it
me: read it?
you: no, do whatever you are reading about.
me: that was very nearly the conclusion I came to
you: and you have nothing to offer the world anyway so it’s all a moot point.

Bananarama : Cruel summer. (bit of a cack tune, but I didn’t realise that when I decided I was going to sing it.)