Mar 31 2012

Saturday 31 March 2012: The Falkirk wheel.

Out on the mountain bikes with P this morning. It was a cracking morning for it. Blue skies with some clouds, not too hot, all good.

Went over to see the Falkirk wheel to show him as I couldn’t think of anything else worth showing. The blip is just the wood paneling of the visitor centre.

Out for tea tonight to the newish steak place. Disappointing. The missus steak came out medium, despite her asking for well done and specifically saying it had to be cooked all the way through. By the time it came back out we had all finished. And apart from one guy the service was pretty poor too. I complained to the manager and they knocked 25% off the bill, didn’t make up for a spoiled meal though.

you: not like you to moan or complain
me: sarcasm right?
you: you’re learning I see.
me: ach it was poor. The service staff had no manners, the manager didn’t even come over to apologise to the missus or us in general after I complained
you: ok fair enough, that does sound quite poor. Still, at least that’s the end of it.
me: you reckon? A letter will be sent in due course
you: a letter? An email surely?
me: I’ve told you before. Complaints go in letters, sent recorded delivery
you: sorry, I forgot I was talking to a professional complainer.
me: I gotta be a professional at something.

Vanilla Ice : Ice ice baby ( i figured it was time the baby heard some late 80’s rap)

Mar 30 2012

Friday 30 March 2012: If you go down to the woods today….

…your sure to find a man in a neon orange top riding a bike that appears to be creaking a lot.

L&P up for the weekend, which means my chore list seemed to treble today. And I had to go to the dentist for a checkup (and now a filling required). And I did the shop at 930 only to be told I couldn’t buy the alcohol until 10, and seeing as 90% of the shop was alcohol I had to wait. Doesn’t matter a jot though, as now they have arrived I’ve been able to tuck in to a few tasty ales.

Managed to get out in the woods for a bit on the bike though, and it was still a lovely day, even with all the forecasts of cold weather.

you: you forgot to mention some detail regarding your neon orange top
me: what would that be?
you: that it’s 100% man made fibres
me: all the best clothes are polyester
you: in your sad world maybe.

Jem : 24

Mar 29 2012

Thursday 29 March 2012: Meeting at the mothership

Someone else had opened my payslip today. That annoyed me no end. I don’t want folk knowing what I earn unless I choose to tell them, in which case I’d make up something like a quarter of a million.

A meeting at the mothership, then out for a curry as a few of the contractors are leaving.

you: you only went because you got the view from the seventh floor didn’t you?
me: no!
you: and because it was sunny
me: no!
you: and because you like watching the seagulls from that high up
me: no. Well…..partially.

The Carpenters : Close to you

Mar 28 2012

Wednesday 28 March 2012: The tower on the hill (again)

It’s been a while since I train blipped.

Met honined for a bite to eat in Princes St gardens. Being able to pop over there for lunch is probably what I miss most having moved offices.

Last antenatal class tonight, it was a good laugh. I gave the instructor my business card, and she has said once she takes a look at my site if she likes my photos she’d be happy to suggest me to her future class clients as a photographer which is cool.

you: surprised you didn’t dish out yer card to the other attendees.
me: I considered it. I’ll email them instead
you: unsolicited spam, just what they want
me: not entirely unsolicited, they were happy for their email addresses to go on a list
you: it’s still unsolicited. Did they ask you for information?
me: well, no…
you: so, unsolicited. I can add "spammer" to my list of adjectives for use in relation to you.

Willy Mason : Oxygen

Mar 27 2012

Tuesday 27 March 2012: Stop press. Nacho Shock!

Breaking news, I had nachos that beat the mighty Mercat’s tonight. It’s taken a while, and the Regent came close, but tonight it happened.

Hendricks, up from tollcross:

Cheese dispersion : perfect
Salsa: home made, tasty.
Guacamole : home made, tasty
Chili : tasty, but a negative point was due to too low a temperature
Value for money : spot on.
And a bonus point for the cheese being extra tasty.

Anyway, left to right : Colin, Esme, me, Napoleon.

Up to the meadows for a tinnie after work, it was absolutely hoachin’. Long live this incredible weather

you: "a tinnie" up at the park
me: there had to be several hundred folk up there with the same idea
you: I bet not one other of them referred to their drink as "a tinnie"
me: well that’s what I’m going to refer to it as in the meantime if you don’t mind.
you: I do mind, but whatever. Did you inform the eatery of their new found position at the top of your idiotic nacho chart?
me: I did, I informed the bar manager I was a professional nacho eater
you: and he asked you to leave?
me: no, but he looked bemused and started to wander off, so I called him back and said I’d tell him why they were top of the pile
you: at which point he asked you to leave.
me: no, but I think it came close when I said they had perfect cheese dispersion.

The Fray : How to save a life.

Mar 26 2012

Monday 26 March 2012: The deserter

Lost in a barren wasteland and totally alone, the deserter knew his days were numbered. The sun was falling from the sky, and if the cold didn’t get him the wild things would.

The batteries were almost dead on his walkie-talkie but he continued to hope against hope that the crackle of static would die down, if only so he could shout one last bit of abuse at Corporal "Short" Wilson. Alas he knew he’d missed his chance, the stag do was over. His anger and bitterness would go with him to the grave. He decided to just shout abuse at St Peter when he got to the pearly gates instead.

In other news: the baby appears to be practicing breakdancing again, it’s going mental. Freaky, but awesome. I got out on the bike in the sun after work. And my weather station recorded 23C in the garden this arvo, wish I wasn’t at work.

you: still smarting at missing the second day of the stag do I see
me: totally. And it’ll only be worse tomorrow when the taunting will no doubt start at the boozer
you: you should just be glad I haven’t joined in
me: glad? Surprised more like
you: actually now you come to mention it, so am I.
me: makes a pleasant change I suppose.
you: I’ll remedy that. You’re a loser. It was the best night ever, and you missed it.
me: you weren’t even there!
you: I was in spirit, which is more than can be said for you. Loser.
me: and so it starts….again.

Emeli Sandé : Heaven

Mar 25 2012

Sunday 25 March 2012: Feelin’ hot hot hot.

Warmest March day on record for Scotland today, 22.8C at Fyvie Castle. It was glorious here too.

Got out on the bike. 24miles. Really enjoyable, but I’m a long way off the level of fitness I had last year.

We bought the first of the baby clothes today. We were stood in Mothercare and realised neither of us actually know how to dress a baby, and apparently they don’t come with instructions (babies, not clothes). Do we need baby grows with long and short sleeves? Why is this one more expensive than that one? Is that gonna make it too hot? We gave up when it came to bedding.

you: money well spent at the antenatal courses then?
me: hmm, aye, I’m beginning to wonder.
you: maybe if you paid more attention rather than wondering if there are caramel penguins in the biscuit pot
me: but….caramel penguins…..I’ve never seen them before.
you: it’s not a biscuit appreciation society you are attending. And top marks for posting a black and white blip of a misty morning on such a lovely day
me: it’s not my fault that’s the way the day started is it
you: well I blame you.

Gotye : Somebody that I used to know

Mar 24 2012

Saturday 24 March 2012: Stick.

To bed a bit after 3 this morning. We appear to have polished off the first keg in record time which is a bit of a concern. Introduced Napoleon to the wonders of toast with jam and sour cream. He mocked at first, then tried it and realised it’s just like a cream tea…but sour….and with toast.

This morning was awesome. The stag ticked a few of his tasks off the list, The best of which was as a result of White Lightning bringing all the ingredients required to make a waterslide, namely a tarpaulin and a bottle of washing up liquid. We then proceeded to see if we could throw/slide the stag or the best man further down it. The preferred approach was a "leg and a wing" swing, and release. It was frickin hilarious, and although it looked as though arms were about to be ripped from sockets, no injuries occurred.

Then we headed up to the Falls of Dochart, where the stag had to go for the customary swim. There were some odd looks thrown our way, wandering around Killin with me in my full leprechaun suit, and The Chemist in his lederhosen and still on his crutches from his recent op. Napoleon in his fat american tourist outfit just looked like, well, a fat american tourist.

Gutted to not be there for the second night.

you: not man enough to manage 2 nights?
me: naw it wasn’t that, I had to attend the evening do of the wedding of one of the missus workmates.
you: not man enough to win an argument with the missus then
me: naw it wasn’t that. Eh actually hang on, I suppose that’s fairly accurate.
you: you know for a fact that they will now be having the best "2nd night of stag do" that there has ever been.
me: I know.
you: And even if it’s not, you know they’ll tell you it was, and never let you forget it
me: only too well.

Erasure : A little respect. (cheers for the suggestion LeeAnne.)

Mar 23 2012

Friday 23 March 2012: Where’s me lucky charms.

One large house.
2 kegs of beer (one Schiehallion, one Bitter & Twisted).
massive pot of chili.
a bunch of mates.
good times.

As usual White Lightning has come up trumps with the task list for the stag. And I’ve made it through the night without injury which is a bonus….almost. I sustained a karate chop to the hand. And I made it through the entire night without stripping off…..almost. But I appear to have a drawing of a face etched into my stomach with biro with my belly button for a mouth.

you: why?
me: what?
you: well, "why" most of the last paragraph, but we’ll start with why do you appear to be dressed as a leprechaun?
me: because I’m at a stag do and this time I am dressed as a leprechaun rather than he man, or a pirate.
you: oh of course. Freak. And why do you have a face drawn on your stomach?
me: that one I can’t answer
you: too embarrassed?
me: no, I can’t answer because I’m not entirely sure.
you: wierdo.
me: I’m sure someone said that last night.
you: I’m not surprised in the slightest.

Mar 22 2012

Thursday 22 March 2012: "When one door closes, another opens; …..

….but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us". At least that’s what Alexander Graham Bell reckoned. No reason for the quote other than to attempt to assign some form of relevance to a $hitty late night blip.

Climbing tonight, but my battle scars caused problems so I had to stop.

you: you get a nice new camera and this is the best you can do
me: tired. late. no photo. door. done.
you: totally lame. And battle scars? Are you referring to your pole dancing injury
me: I’m trying to move on from that phase of my life
you: that phase? As in a fortnight ago?
me: well, yeah.
you: moving in to the next phase, as in the stag do tomorrow, where you will no doubt do something else stupid
me: no doubt.

The Waterboys : Whole of the moon.

Mar 21 2012

Wednesday 21 March 2012: The big mistake.

Ok, so maybe I over egged the pudding somewhat when I exclaimed I had more awesome news, but in my partially inebriated state it seemed awesome at the time…..I got a new camera.

I’ve been waiting 2 years on the 5d mkIII coming out (not quite true, I was waiting on the 7dMkII but it isn’t even on the radar). I figured the III would come out at just over £2k, at which point I would have whacked it on the credit card and tried to justify it later. But it didn’t, it came out at £3k, and I just couldn’t do it. It got as far as my shopping basket…and then as far as checkout. Then I remembered someone at work was selling a mkII, haggled a decent price, and bought that instead.

Antenatal class again tonight. Where I learned that the best way to wash a baby is to put it in a bucket with some water and jiggle it about a bit.

you: I’m fairly sure that’s not what you learned
me: you weren’t even there, how would you know
you: I just do. And you bottled it basically
me: what?
you: getting the camera you wanted
me: I want this one.
you: No, you want the III
me: This’ll do.
you: I give it a year tops before you have a Mk III
me: blimey that long? Sutin has already put money on 6 months.
you: hmm, maybe I’ll get a sweepstake going on this one. £10 to play, pick the number of days from today, closest wins. Any takers?

Aztec Camera : Somewhere in my heart.

check it out Tadpole, it appears just owning a 5d results in black and white shots, never mind using it! ;-)

Mar 20 2012

Tuesday 20 March 2012: Whoops. Again

Another note to self. Don’t mention Alan Partridge ladyboy’s when in the pub. It only ends in you getting one.

First night at the boozer for what seems like ages. I accidentally mentioned the infamous A.P scene, and ended up with the usual concoction. I had to make the picture black and white as the G&T had lime in rather than lemon, and I think that might upset Davidd.

Also went for mercat nachos, which were as awesome as ever.

So all in all a cracking night in spite/because of the ladyboy.

And then I got an email from Oz to say they start their homeward journey in 2 weeks. Awesome.

you: several "awesome’s" in there. Are you 12?
me: no, but I have some other kind of awesome news that I’ll blip tomorrow hopefully
you: I bet it’s rubbish
me: you might be right. But at the moment it’s awesome
you: I think I’ll be the judge of it.
me: you usually are.

Michael and Brian : Matchstalk cats and dogs ( I remember singing this at primary school and liking it, then I saw a pile driver with Lowry painted on it on the walk between pubs which started me singing it, then Napoleon started doing a Martin Lawrence from Bad Boys impression…."I’m Mike Low-wry." Awesome.

Mar 19 2012

Monday 19 March 2012: Exercise

I was determined that when I got home tonight I was going to head out on the bike and get a bit of exercise. But it was windy and wet, so I sat on the couch and ate yoghurt.

Then we watched upstairs downstairs, which is a very poor cousin to downton as far as I’m concerned. And I ate chocolate.

you: not the best of trades really was it
me: what?
you: exercise for yoghurt and chocolate.
me: seems pretty good from where I’m sitting
you: in the massive indent that is slowly forming around you on the couch.
me: not yet. I said I was just gonna be a fat dad when the bairn arrives. But apparently I’m not allowed.
you: probably for the best.

Andy Williams : Can’t take my eyes off of you

Mar 18 2012

Sunday 18 March 2012: Happy mothers day mum

For mothers day I asked Tesco if they could arrange a selection of fish around a mothers day balloon. I was delighted with the results, I’m sure you will agree it is rather spectacular. WTF?!

Out for a lunch and a wander along the canal with the missus. The caesar salad I ordered was missing the anchovies, so I mentioned that and some were brought out. Then I noticed it was also missing the parmesan, but I couldn’t be bothered mentioning that. So basically they had dished up a chicken salad.

you: you forgot didn’t you?
me: what?
you: mothers day.
me: no. Mum said she wanted a home made card
you: so you at least did that?
me: no, I had a nightmare about making a card and couldn’t do it.
you: is it possible to have a nightmare about making a card?
me: I just told you I had one. So yes! Anyway, I had a particular photo I wanted to take today for mothers day instead.
you: and this is it? Blimey, your head is messed up.
me: no, this is it.
you: hmmm, slightly better than a fishy arrangement
me: happy mothers day mum.

Dire Straits : Money for nothing

Mar 17 2012

Saturday 17 March 2012: Gamboling gnats

Do gnats gambol? Were they gnats? Whatever, they caught my eye dancing about in the evening sunshine.

you: nothing to say again, which suggests another productive day?
me: I fell asleep for a few hours on the couch, after 9 hours kip last night. Not good.
you: so essentially what you’re telling us is that you are a lazy git
me: well I did try to get a costume for next weeks stag do
you: tried? suggesting you failed
me: well, yeah
you: so now you are a lazy failure.
me: maybe, but tonights tsfb is a winner

Ben Howard : The Wolves

Mar 16 2012

Friday 16 March 2012: #blipcheers

A day of feeling fairly ropey again. Just seems to be dragging on. Watched deadliest catch, and home and away. So an afternoon well spent then.

Out for a drink with davidd tonight, and whoever else makes it along.

you: you haven’t even opened it!
me: yet.

Nelly Furtado : I’m like a bird

Mar 15 2012

Thursday 15 March 2012: Not very talkative

For a while it was looking like this doll was going to be the only other attendee at tonight’s antenatal class.

Thankfully some others turned up as this wee lass didn’t have much to say for herself. It was a bit of a slow class with a different teacher, could do with the contents being compressed.

Tonight I learned that a new born baby has a stomach the size of a small marble. So how the frick does it take so long to feed them, was my question. Too which the response was that they often fall asleep part way through feeding. Very lazy.

you: I bet the doll had more interesting chat than you
me: quite possibly
you: quite probably
me: but I’m tired
you: and it’s a lump of plastic.

The Ting Tings : That’s not my name

Mar 14 2012

Wednesday 14 March 2012: Best week ever.

I ran out of rooms with couches so had to go back to work. That and I finally felt a lot better. Never thought I’d be so glad to have a full inbox of emails to deal with.

When going through some jacket pockets tonight I found this old lift pass, from what was without doubt one of the best weeks of my life. So I’m going to forget the last week ever happened and replace it with a replay of 2009’s holiday. Awesome.

Antenatal class again tonight. It sounds to me like there isn’t an easy option for giving birth, and I don’t think "chin up poppet" is going to go down very well.

you: about freakin’ time
me: what?
you: you stopped whining about feeling ill
me: I know, good eh.
you: and if "chin up poppet" is still the best you can come up with I think you are in line for a fairly serious slap.
me: I have a feeling whatever I do I’m gonna get a slap
you: and I have a feeling it’ll be well deserved.

Pulp : Common People

Mar 13 2012

Tuesday 13 March 2012: Same sh*t, different view

Woke up still feeling rubbish.

Spent the day in a different room, on a different couch, with a different view.

you: you could at least have made yourself useful and cleaned up what appears to be runs of paint at the top of your window
me: hmm, that is something I’ve been meaning to do
you: how long ago did you paint the windows?
me: I didn’t, it was like that when we moved in
you: so you’ve been meaning to do it for two years?
me: I guess that’s one way of looking at it
you: not exactly mr pro-active are you. And what other way is there to look at it? Idiot.

Snow Patrol : Chasing Cars

Mar 12 2012

Monday 12 March 2012: Blurg

This was my view. For the entire day. And it was as grainy and grungy looking in real life. I woke up still feeling like merde, so had to call in sick. I couldn’t read as it felt like my head was wobbling, so I resorted to watching telly. My head still felt like it was wobbling, but to a lesser degree.

you: "it felt like my head was wobbling"?
me: exactly
you: I’m not entirely sure that’s a recognised medical condition
me: I don’t care, that’s exactly what it felt like. And a walk to the kitchen was enough to induce cold sweats
you: surely that’s just because you are a porker though?
me: not today. Right my head is starting to wobble again. Time for bed
you: don’t come back until your head is screwed on properly
me: that could be a while
you: all the better.


you: HAHAHA you didn’t realise today was your 730th did you?
me: aw man no way! gutted. What a way to celebrate 2 years of non stop blipping, feeling ill and with a grimy phone shot of my living room

Guns N’ Roses : Sweet Child O’ Mine

Mar 11 2012

Sunday 11 March 2012: Steam power

So that’s it. Holiday well and truly over. The iron is out, the shirts are ironed. And to top it off I still feel like crap, to the extent that I haven’t actually got dressed today.

you: no doubt you are going to call this a tradition too, like buying your missus a mug instead of a decent gift?
me: what?
you: blipping the iron the sunday after you get back from holiday.
me: does twice make it a tradition? I guess it does
you: I’m sure it will be passed down through the generations. And I hope you haven’t been wandering around the house in the nuddy all day
me: of course not! Ironing in the nude would be a bit of a risk.
you: I was thinking more of the fact that the inlaws were still visiting
me: oh.

Arctic Monkeys : A Certain Romance

Mar 10 2012

Saturday 10 March 2012: On the road again (holiday over)

Today I am going to try and find something good to say to counterbalance every negative thing I have to say:

– I still feel like crap
+ But I feel better than I did

– I spent 8 quid on a mug
+ but now at least I have a holiday gift for the missus

– the 3 hour transfer took over 6 hours
+but it was a beautiful sunny day, there were some cracking views, and I had this cheery wee thing staring at me the whole way

-Grenoble airport is basically a cow shed
+but the flight was on time.

Blimey, that wasn’t all that hard

you: you jet off for a weeks fun in the snow and bring yer missus back a mug?
me: aye, it’s traditional
you: cheap more like it!
me: but it has an embossed skiing marmot on it!
you: she would still rather have had chocolates.
me: nope. She had a good giggle.
you: Fine. But if you saw such nice views why didn’t you take a picture of one?
me: I

Mar 9 2012

Friday 9 March 2012: Carve (holiday day 6)

Had a lovely day today.

you hang on a minute, what happened to the paragraphs of whining that were here a minute ago
me: I got a text from K saying whingers are weaners.
you: and she’s right.

Mar 8 2012

Thursday 8 March 2012: Snot factory (holiday day 5)

Had probably the worst nights sleep of my life last night. About 2 hours kip, and that was filled with nightmares. This is not what a holiday should be like

I have spent most of the day watching videos on youtube, or trying to catch 40 winks, or producing massive volumes of snot. This is not what a holiday should be like

I wandered out to get some "jour et nuit" tablets, and on the way back mistakenly looked to see how much the lift pass I didn’t use cost me. £45. This is not what a holiday should be like

And now everyone else is away out for what will no doubt be yet another awesome night and I’m gettin my blip out of the way so I can go to bed. This is not what holidays should be like

you: you are one miserable git
me: believe me, I know I can be miserable sometimes, but this is taking things to a whole new level.
you: you’d better snap out of it soon ’cause it’s getting boring.
me: you think I don’t know this?
you: you don’t seem to know a lot sometimes. And your holiday buddies must be loving the level of cheer you are bringing to things
me: I guess that’s why they are away out
you: you may guess, but I have no doubt

Mar 7 2012

Wednesday 7 March 2012: From bad to worse. (holiday day 4)

It was a gloriously sunny day, so decided that even if my chest was still causing a lot of pain I would head out and just do some easy blues. It turns out that’s what most of the others were doing so it was ace.

On the run home though I started to get a headache. By tea time I felt like crap. And in the end I was in bed by 10 chock full of a cold. Why? What have I done to deserve this? I had a terrible nights sleep last night, I don’t think tonight’s will be any better

We all had a game of articulate after tea though, that was a good laugh. When I got Beirut though I started out by saying "It’s in germany" Cue a lot of mocking from the others when I realised I was thinking about Berlin

you : Not having the best time of it this holiday are you
me: nope. I haven’t had a cold in months. Why do I get one now?
you: man up, it’s just a cold
me: No, I’m fairly sure it’s man flu. And I’m going to blame my geographical error on the medication
you: if it’s all the same with you I’ll just blame it on you being an idiot

Mar 6 2012

Tuesday 6 March 2012: It’s all gone wrong (holiday day 3)

Today I had to give up snowboarding at about midday because it was too painful. I appear to have pulled some muscles down the side of my chest. Breathing hurts. Coughing really hurts. Walking isn’t great. Boarding is a no-no.

The most annoying thing is the way the injury happened. Not as a result of a snowboarding crash. No, that would be almost acceptable. What I am suffering from is a pole dancing injury.

All out for tea tonight. 19euros for a salad starter. This place does my head in.

you: so you got chucked out of a strip club by the bouncer and fell and hurt yourself? No sympathy here.
me: I wasn’t in a strip club. I was in a pub.
you: same difference. Still no sympathy
me: and I wasn’t watching a pole dancer, I was doing the pole dancing
you: Idiot. I have no more to say on the matter.
me: I was just trying to do the flagpole move. How hard can it be?
you: too hard for a porker like you. Just stop talking. Nothing you can say will fix the matter. You’ve basically ballsed up your holiday
me: your sympathy astounds me
you: I save my sympathy for those that deserve it.

Mar 5 2012

Monday 5 March 2012: 5 a day (holiday day 2)

gettting your five a day in a french ski resort is a very expensive business. What equates to pretty much 2 quid for a banana, or any other sort of fruit is too rich for me. And I simply refuse to pay six quid for a bottle of coke. I’d rather be dehydrated/

The light was flat which made boarding very un-enjoyable.

Since then things have got massively better. I’m dancing in nothing but my pants and I just downed 5 glasses of un-identified alcohol. Yet it didn’t cost a penny. All good.

Fingers crossed the light tomorrow is better

you : how tight are you that you won’t pay the going price for a banana?
me: well I’m scottish, and my dad’s from yorkshire
you: fair enough. You didn’t stand a chance
me: exactly!
you:And I’m going to assume here we are talking about the american usage of pants.
me: that appears to be a statement rather than a question
you: well obviously
me: well you’re wrong
you: really? why?
me: it’s just my thang
you: thang? I’m sure you mean thing. But still why?
me: just because.
you: I have a funny feeling I’m not going to get a sensible conversation out of you tonight.
me: do you like tinned spam?
you: I rest my case

Mar 4 2012

Sunday 4 March 2012: Toot toot (holiday day 1)

Up till nearly 5am on the free all you can drink wine. Then up at 8 for breakfast and out the door for nine to go snowboarding. This is not a good combo. I felt rough. Nice snow, glorious weather, yet I’m not sure I even enjoyed it. By half eleven I had called it quits and stopped to let the others go on while I sat in the sun and listened to some tunes.

Did a few more runs after lunch then went home for a few hours kip.

Out for a few despe after tea, but I wasn’t feeling that either so I left at midnight.

you: man you are such a pansy
me: i couldn’t handle it. I was too tired.
you: so?! Man up princess. You’ve paid a grand for yer holiday you’ve got to make the most of it
me: and I put the bindings on my board when I was drunk. That didn’t help when I didn’t notice until I was up the mountain
you: ach so what, had you set them a couple of degrees out? Big deal
me: no, I had set them back to front. Left foot where the right should be.
you: oh. Well. You shouldn’t be such a wuss.

Mar 3 2012

Saturday 3 March 2012: Despe fail

Flight was on time. Bus journey was a bit of killer at 3 and a half hours but it was awright.

Then we arrived, and the unlimited free wine kicked in. Not good

I took this despe photo before I left home. Hence the fail. I haven’t had one in france on the first day of my holiday. This is not good

you: loser
me: this is one occasion I’m not gonna argue
you: you go on a boarding holiday and the one thing you look forward to is a desperados and you don’t even have one
me: I know I know.
you: and you don’t even like wine!
me: I know I know.
you: you are a world class loser.

Mar 2 2012

Friday 2 March 2012: Health and safety.

There are lots of things wrong with this :
1) he has no form of safety gear what-so-ever (unless you count trainers)
2) he’s directly above a conservatory
3) the roof of the conservatory is lined with finials, also known as spikes

All packed up for my holiday. I am rubbish at packing for snowboard holidays, I think it took me 3 hours to decide if I was taking the SLR and if I was which lenses (I am, and just the 18-50mm). Then it took me a couple of hours to decide which films to put on the laptop. And I just find it very stressful.

Dad popped in as he had been in glasgow, so I took his portrait with some new kit.

you: Oh poor you, getting stressed packing for a holiday
me: I know eh!
you: Sarcasm. And it would appear to me that you are criticising the bloke in the photo?
me: of course, why wouldn’t I be, it’s crazy
you: Eh, because it’s just the sort of thing you would do.
me: hmm, fair point.

Counting Crows : Mr Jones

Mar 1 2012

Thursday 1 March 2012: Bright

Who says "Big fat gypsy wedding" is trash tv? It’s educational don’t you know? Tonight I learned that wolves are being re-introduced into Scotland, along with lions and tigers.. This came from the mouth of the same 15 year old whose comment after her weekly hour of tuition which this week was perhaps covering pythagoras theorem was "what am i ever going to do with a triangle". I think she had a point.

Started waxing the snowboard and tidying up the edges tonight, will finish it off tomorrow.

you: what did you say to yourself last time you waxed your snowboard?
me: "I think I’ll just pay to have it done next time"
you: and yet you’re doing it yourself again
me: I know, I left it a bit late. This holiday has kind of snuck up on me
you: you don’t sound very excited
me: because I haven’t been thinking about it I guess
you: perhaps you should give the tickets to me
me: not likely. When I’m supping on a bottle of desperado with a view of the mountains I’ll be a happy bunny
you: best hope they haven’t introduced lions and tigers to the alps too then

Five : Keep on movin