Feb 29 2012

Wednesday 29 February 2012: Stay away from the light

What you are witnessing here is the death of a train. I tried to get him to stay away from the light, but he just wouldn’t listen.

Antenatal class part 2 tonight. We turned up on time tonight. She was talking about pain relief.

you: were you on the oxygen and gas or something?
me: naw there were no samples.
you: are you sure?
me: pretty sure aye
you: so you talking about a train dying without being on any form of medication?
me: yup.
you: it’s becoming clear that you should be on some form of medication I think

Merina and the Diamonds : You are not a robot.

Feb 28 2012

Tuesday 28 February 2012: Nacho fail

Went to the Au bar for nachos tonight. They were actually quite nice, but not hot enough (temperature wise), which is a)what I remember from years ago b)sbarlster said about the other night. Anyway, that’s not what the fail was. The fail was me not getting a nacho based photo, then getting to 11 at night and having no blip.

I wish blip had been around when I was at uni. White Lightning has put a load of old photos up on facebook, which I really enjoyed looking at. Some of them are from 15 years or more ago, that’s a fair old time. I only have about 2 rolls of film for the whole 4 years of uni. Shame. Kids today have got it easy.

you: are you purposely trying to sound like you’re ancient?
me: no
you: well you do.

Tenacious D : Tribute

Feb 27 2012

Monday 27 February 2012: Made in England. Pat’d 1912.

The patent for this razor was granted on the 27th of February 1912. 100 years ago today. RP somehow knew of this, and convinced about 8 of us at work that buying razors from the dark ages and having a shave for work with them was a good way to celebrate. So we all hit up ebay, making sure not to get into bidding wars with each other, and bought our razors. Some got chrome tins with purple velvet lining, some with red. Some got no cases. Some got red bakelite cases. But I think I was the only person to get the awesome cammo green bakelite case that can be seen looming in the darkness. It smells funny. Whether that’s what bakelite smells like, or as someone suggested the previous owner died with it in his hand and the smell is of rotting man I don’t know. Hopefully it’s the former.

Anyway. I used it last night, and found it quite a relaxing experience, just taking my time (for fear of slitting my throat), and making the best job I could. I think I did such a good job that my usual one shave a week could even be increased to a week and a half.

you: one shave a week? Are you not man enough to have serious stubble by then?
me: well, aye, I am actually
you: so basically by the end of every week you look like a hobo?
me: I prefer "rugged"
you: rugged? no. Hobo chic, perhaps.
me: I’ll take that.

Baz Luhrmann : Everybody’s free (to wear sunscreen) (never though I’d hear Jo Whiley play this one…tonight she did)

Feb 26 2012

Sunday 26 February 2012: Snowdrop walk

We were trying to find sommat to do today. The missus found a "guided snowdrop walk" round hopetoun house, but it was fully booked so she was upset. Then randomly a text arrived from mum proclaiming that a house out stirling way was opening it’s gardens for a snowdrop walk (unguided, but I’m sure we’d manage). So we went along. It wasn’t very well done in terms of signage of a route, but it was nice to go for a wander among the big trees.

Then we went to clive ramsay’s in Bridge of Allan. Had a burger which was awright, not the best I’ve had. Nowhere near as nice as the caesar salad I had there last time.

And tonight I have had the best shave I’ve had in years. But that’s for tomorrows blip

you: you sound like an idiot
me: that’s your general opinion it seems. Why tonight though?
you: because on one hand you say you "think you’ll manage" then you are complaining about lack of signage
me: well I would have managed better had there been some form of indication of which way to go
you: didn’t they give you a map
me: well…..yes.
you: so use it, idiot!
me: but….
you: no excuses. And I couldn’t believe you admitted to eating a salad on the day, yet here you are mentioning it again.
me: but….
you: no arguments. Real men don’t eat salads
me: but….
you: and one last thing. I have no desire to know about whatever strange shaving practices you have been up to. Keep it to yourself
me: it’s nowt weird or kinky!
you: in your opinion. No more is to be said on the matter.

John Martyn : May you never.

Feb 25 2012

Saturday 25 February 2012: He’s back

The reindeer is out again. That can only mean one thing….I was trying to get my lights set up for a kids photo shoot. Which I was. The Teacher and family came round. It was fun and I got some grand shots I reckon.

Watched some more downton, onto the chrimbo special now so not much left to watch.

And that was the day. Other than eating a tub of M&S rocky road.

you: bit premature no?
me: what, the reindeer? He was just lounging around
you: no, I meant with the claim to have some good shots. You’d be better waiting to see what the owners think
me: well. yes, I guess so. But owners? Don’t you mean parents?
you: owners. Parents. Same thing. And you either have to put up or shut up now. You’re either off the cakes or on them, not both.
me: Ok I hereby declare that for the rest of lent I will stay off the cakes
you: I’ll hold you to it
me: ehhhh…..how long is lent exactly?

Matt McGinn : The wee Kirkcudbright centipede (the singing kettle cd is to blame, good use of the word fankle though)

Feb 24 2012

Friday 24 February 2012: Big wheels keep on turnin’

For some totally messed up reason I found myself sitting this morning at 3:30am re-installing xp on my wee laptop. For some reason the hard drive had gone wonky, meaning I lost months worth of weather data. Extremely annoying.

Got out for a go on the new trails this afternoon. They are pretty good fun, and right out the back door. Then I watched the rest of TT3d: Closer to the Edge while sitting on the multi-gym. Ace. Those guys are incredible.

Oh, and one of the restaurants that had my photos up appears to have closed and taken over a hundred quids worth of my photos with them. Not happy.

you: you just sat on it, didn’t you?
me: what?
you: the multi gym
me: aye, basically. It makes for quite a comfy seat.

Queens of the Stone Age : No one knows

Feb 23 2012

Thursday 23 February 2012: Commuters

I don’t know why, but I like seeing dogs on trains. As long as they sit quietly, and don’t crap anywhere obviously. Kind of the same way I feel about people actually

Complete and utter fail with the telescope tonight. Attached the slr for the first time and can’t get focus. Hebsjournal is helping me to get on the right track though, so hopefully be up and running soon.

Seem to have wasted the evening, rather than doing any exercise I ate another of these. Fair trade I reckon.

you: perv.
me: eh?
you: taking a picture of that lasses legs and claiming it was of the dog!
me: it was of the dog!
you: doesn’t look like that’s how you composed it to me
me: but…
you: and why do you keep going on about giving up on doughnuts then coming home and eating cakes anyway
me: but….
you: shut it, fat boy

Radiohead : High and dry

ps. and this is a bit of a long shot : dad lost his wallet with £300 in it at manchester airport today. If anyone knows anyone that works there that has a phone number for a direct line to actually speak to someone in lost property rather than get an automated message it would be very much appreciated!

Feb 22 2012

Wednesday 22 February 2012: Tea

Had a sore stomach all day today. Not good. So for tea I just had some toast.

First antenatal class tonight. I read the email wrong and we were half an hour late. I see one of the couples almost every day on the train….so after a year of that now I actually know their names.

you: that’s not toast!
me: what would you call it then?
you: warm bread by the looks of things
me: well it’s the way I like it.
you: freak. And what’s with being half an hour late to the first class, not a good impression is it?
me: it meant we got to miss the awkward introductions at least
you: so you’re claiming to the missus that it was planned?
me: I am now.

The Kinks : Dedicated follower of fashion

Feb 21 2012

Tuesday 21 February 2012: No particular reason.

Went a wander with sbarlster at lunch. Bought my last ever last ever doughnut. I know I keep saying that. But I mean it this time. For the moment at least.

Beer night has temporarily moved to a tuesday, but instead of hitting the pub tonight we headed out for a surprise visit to see how the chemist was doing after his knee op. He’s had both replaced now.

Then home to make pancakes. Brown sugar and lemon juice is probably the original and best. But only because we didn’t have any nutella for a nutella and banana one.

you: why?
me: why what?
you: why have you made a lemon an orange and an orange a lime?
me: can’t you read the title?
you: Whatever man. And I’m fairly sure the chemist hasn’t had his knees ‘replaced’. What have they been replaced with?
me: one is a beer tap and the other is a nacho conveyor belt. He had it done privately.
you: I suppose he’d have to.

The Pigeon Detectives : Romantic type

Feb 20 2012

Monday 20 February 2012: Weighing in.

I don’t know why we have 2 sets of scales in the bathroom. But we do.

Half an hour on the turbo trainer while watching TT3d : closer to the edge, which is pretty good so far. Guy Martin just seems like a top bloke.

you: 2 sets of scales so that when one set claims you are a fat git and you don’t believe them you can try the other set only to find they tell you are still a fat git?
me: I’m not aware that that’s the reason.
you: and you don’t have a 3d telly
me: I am aware of this though
you: so why are you watching a 3d film on it?
me: it’s ok, I’ve selotaped some quality street wrappers across my eyes and all’s well
you: it’s not even that kind of 3d, numpty.

Florence and the Machine : Rabbit heart (raise it up)

Feb 19 2012

Sunday 19 February 2012: Missing in action.

Home from the swamp this morning. Obi-wan came round to collect some of his stuff now that he’s back in the country.

Then Jenelope arrived and we went out for a bit of lunch and a quick traipse around some shops.

She arrived bearing gifts….some stuff I wasn’t interested in as it wasn’t for me, and these awesome (home made)cupcakes.

you: and one appears to have failed to make it to the photo shoot
me: I have no idea what you’re referring to.
you: no?
me: it wasn’t me
you: what wasn’t you?
me: that thing that I said I didn’t know you were referring to
you: are you trying to bamboozle me with random sentences?
me: it wasn’t me, it was the missus, she ate it.
you: spineless git, passing the blame
me: ok ok, it was the baby.

Michael Jackson : Billie Jean

Feb 18 2012

Saturday 18 February 2012: Just passing through.

Helped out with the community group that repairs the paths in the local woods. I waited till no one was looking then had a ride in the motorised wheelbarrow. It wasn’t very good at staying in a straight line, and reaching behind me to hold the throttle was awkward too.

Just as we were leaving to go to the swamp we had pretty much a full on blizzard. It lasted all of ten minutes and then passed through.

you: any particular reason you waited until no one was looking to try riding in the barrow?
me: eh…
you: cause you knew it was stupid. That’s why.
me: well…
you: and there’s a reason the throttle was placed somewhere that was awkward to reach while sitting in the barrow.
me: aye, health and safety gone mad, that’s the reason.
you: not what I was thinking. Idiot.

Jesse J : Dance with somebody (I didn’t recreate the annoying vibrato)

Feb 17 2012

Friday 17 February 2012: I win

Fitting the new discs and pads went pretty smoothly. I quite enjoyed it, and it saved over £100 against taking it to the garage so that’s a nice wee bonus.

Meant to be helping out the local community group with the path repairs tomorrow, but it’s blowing a gale and wet. It’s the thought that counts right

you: you haven’t driven it yet though have you?
me: I have, I took it to the shops and back
you: and at no point did you fear for your life?
me: I wouldn’t go that far.
you: If you don’t go out and help with the paths after saying you would then I’ll disown you.
me: well you’ve been trying for a while
you: aye, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to disown you if your brake fixing had gone as I expected.

Don McLean : Vincent

Feb 16 2012

Thursday 16 February 2012: Contenders. Ready.

Tomorrow I will do battle with the car in an attempt to replace the rear discs and pads. I’m not concerned, it shouldn’t be a problem.

you: famous last words
me: ach it’s only a few nuts and bolts it’ll be fine
you: No, I meant these will actually be famous last words when you career down a hill and in to a tree.
me: have some faith, I can do stuff
you: I think it’s you who needs some faith.

The Cure : Friday I’m in love.

Feb 15 2012

Wednesday 15 February 2012: Waiting at the lights.

At the end of today I think I was 2 steps back from where I was at the start of the week. Frustrating.

Still, met Napoleon for a beer. A couple of jars of Dark Munro. Not normally my tipple of choice but tonight it hit the spot.

Finally got round to letting L&P see the photos I took at their wedding and they love them, I’m happy about that.

you: shouldn’t you have been home early after last nights fiasco rather than going to the boozer?
me: naw, the missus always phones folk on a wednesday so it makes no odds
you: no, she phones people so she doesn’t have to talk to you
me: you think?
you: that’s what I’d do.
me: and yet here you are talking to me
you: <ring ring> sorry that’s my phone going…..

U2 : Lemon

Feb 14 2012

Tuesday 14 February 2012: Timings

It would appear that I am now getting home just in time for sunset. Awesome.

you: is that it?
me: aye, not a lot to say today
you: too busy being romantic seeing as it’s valentines day I guess?
me: if "you’re being bl00dy annoying" is another way of saying "aren’t you just the old romantic?" then yes.
you: otherwise?
me: no.
you: to be fair you are pretty bl00dy annoying.
me: I wasn’t trying to be annoying
you: you don’t have to try. You excel at it without any effort.
me: so it would appear. oops :-(

tsfb : The Pretenders : Don’t get me wrong (as featured in my favourite ever strictly dance.)

Feb 13 2012

Monday 13 February 2012: Keep left.

Today I saw:
a boy on a sort of hot-rod bike thing
some road rage
the outside of Greggs

you: oh how interesting, eh, naw.
me: what can I say
you: "just one of those days" is what you usually say
me: just one of those days.
you: and you also saw the inside of Greggs I imagine?
me: nope, I walked on by
you: aye right
me: no, I did. After the mild letdown of the blueberry burst I feel I can now pass by without getting a doughnut
you: you didn’t pass by did you?
me: …no
you: you stayed away to avoid temptation didn’t you?
me: …yes
you: you have zero willpower don’t you
me: not going near has got to count for something? Right?

Roy Orbison : Pretty woman ( I have no idea why this popped into my head….and having watched the video I wish it hadn’t, the start freaks me out)

Feb 12 2012

Sunday 12 February 2012: rust bucket

Decided to take a look at why the brakes on the ‘cheap runaround’ were causing so many problems. When it was mot’d they told me the pads were getting worn, but there was a good couple of k left in them. So how come after about 300 miles there isn’t a trace of pad left on one of them? Very odd. Anyway, new discs and pads ordered, I’ll fit them next week.

First time out this year for the good bike today. I enjoyed it too. It was also the first time out for full length lycra. While I appreciate the benefits to cycling, the look leaves a lot to be desired.

you: that sounds like a good idea.
me: what does?
you: a numpty like you replacing what is basically a life saving component of your car
me: it’s ok, there’s a video for it on youtube
you: oh and that makes it a good idea?
me: a better idea than not having a video.
you: and while we’re here. This ‘cheap runaround’, hows that working out for you?
me: about £150 a month so far.
you: bargain. Idiot.

Barry White : My everything

Feb 11 2012

Saturday 11 February 2012: George and a bus.

Waste of a day.

My left leg and @ss cheek hurt as a result of yesterdays bowling.

Drove the missus through to Edinburgh tonight for a hen do. It took me half an hour to get parked anywhere near George St. I thought there was meant to be a recession on, or is that finished with? The town seemed to be mobbed. Anyway, few shots on George st and I got the train home.

I’m just about to have a fish finger and bean roll for my tea. Oh the high life.

you: if you’re quick you can edit your post so folk don’t see that
me: see what?
you: that you just admitted to having a sore leg and ass after 3 games of bowling
me: but I do
you: no way I’d admit to that. Doesn’t say much about your state of health does it
me: well it’s not like it’s muscles I use much is it
you: oh I see, so you don’t use your legs much? Idiot.
me: but….
you: you’re just digging a hole you can’t get out of……so you’ll probably be complaining about sore arms tomorrow.

Ash : Girl from Mars

Feb 10 2012

Friday 10 February 2012: Strike!

The Teacher came over this morning and we went bowling. It’s years since I went bowling. It was ace fun, and the early 90’s soundtrack was the icing on the cake. I think there was something wrong with my shoes though.

Then we went to Sumo for a bit of lunch. We were discussing the fact that Oz lived next to a bowling alley for years, yet didn’t go pro. Shameful behavior.

you: there was something wrong with your shoes?
me: aye I think so.
you: you mean you lost?
me: well, I don’t think I’d go that far. I think we were both winners
you: please tell me you didn’t just say that.
me: ok ok I lost, 2:1. But it’s the taking part that counts
you: please tell me you didn’t just say that either!

Paula Abdul : Opposites attract.

Feb 9 2012

Thursday 9 February 2012: Awww, ain’t he cute.

My arduino nano arrived today. The fact that I haven’t used the non-nano version in about a year is irrelevant.

Today was also exciting in that I finally got my hands on a Gregg’s blueberry burst doughnut, courtesy of sbarlster. It was nice, very nice. But was it as nice as a pink jammy? I’m not sure. I think the fact that in my mind I had built it up to being some mythical mouthful of awesomeness perhaps resulted in it being a bit of a let down. Still very nice, but I think I need a side by side comparison to crown the true king of doughnuts (excluding the caramel custard ones, as I think they win by default)

you: you were excited about getting a doughnut?
me: I’ve been trying for days but they have always been sold out.
you: perhaps someone was trying to tell you something?
me: what?
you: that yer a lard @$$ and don’t need any more doughnuts?
me: I’m not a lard @$$
you: yet. And nice work on buying a duplicate of something you already have and don’t use. Idiot.
me: it’s not a duplicate! It’s much smaller.
you: oh well that’s ok then….
me: phew.
you: how many times do you need told? Sarcasm!

Annie : The sun will come out.

Feb 8 2012

Wednesday 8 February 2012: 9 pint nachos

Way back here we had what we thought were some of the best nachos we had ever had, before we headed off to have our tenth pint. Today we decided we had best go back and see if they really were good nachos, or if it was the beer talking.

It turns out they were good nachos. We hadn’t even imagined the olives, which were (still) a welcome addition. There was some heated debate about whether they were better than mercat nachos. I think they are on a par. In fact I think I might even prefer the Regent nachos…..although I’m sure I had a chunk of turnip and carrot in mine which isn’t quite right. Maybe a mix of the veg and beef chilli? Whatever, gay nacho’s are still ace, and the regent is a quality boozer.

you: if you think you prefer them then they’re not on a par then are they? Idiot.
me: I was being indecisive.
you: you didn’t mention the cheese dispersion factor
me: oh that was rather good. It was well through the middle, though there were some unmelted sections around the edge
me: I didn’t actually want to know. I was mocking you.
me: but everyone wants to know about cheese dispersion.
you: you’re using too much text emphasis tonight. I’m off.
me: nice talking to you. Now who’s mocking who?

Otis Redding : Sittin’ on the dock of the bay

Feb 7 2012

Tuesday 7 February 2012: Night riders

-4C? Check
dressed for the occasion? Well I had my £5 umbro shorts on, perfect for any occasion in any temperature.

First ever night ride tonight, and it was awesome. Felt a bit presumptuous showing up with all my camera gear to go on a run on the bikes with one bloke I’ve met once and 3 I’d never met before…..but they were very obliging, and I got them all in shot, result.

you: presumptuous? More like an @r$e
me: I had asked the one guy I had met before if he thought they’d mind
you: and he said they would but you did it anyway no doubt
me: no! I asked them all if they’d mind and they didn’t
you: and what kind of idiot wears a pair of cheap baggy shorts to cycling in sub zero temperatures
me: not any of the others that’s for sure
you: because they’re not IDIOTS!

Bill Withers : Ain’t no sunshine

Feb 6 2012

Monday 6 February 2012: Blue skies (2)

I got the telescope out tonight. I looked at Jupiter. I think I saw 3 moons around it. Could that be right? It made me happy anyway. And the moon looked awesome. I just need to get a way to connect the camera to the scope now.

you: well at least you didn’t make this "blue skies" picture black and white.
me: I did that just for you.
you: shame the rest of the picture is guff.
me: there is a wee dude up at the top of that tower though, that’s what I was really taking the picture of
you: shame you didn’t have the telescope it would seem.

Disney’s Bambi : Drip Drip Drop Little April Shower

Feb 5 2012

Sunday 5 February 2012: shadowlands.

I like shadows.

Ordered nursery furniture today. One less task to complete. And decided on a buggy too. A Jane Trider. It may not be the lightest, or fold up the smallest, but it’s still the coolest I’ve found so far, and that’s what counts right?

Also did 40 minutes on the turbo trainer and now my legs are knackered. I was going to do an hour but the film I was watching finished.

And finally for the day we watched a couple of episodes of Downton Abbey, series 2. Ace.

you: "the film I was watching finished"?
me: what? It did, I’d already watched the first half of Commando last time I was on the turbo.
you: are you seriously trying to use that as an excuse as to why you didn’t do the hour you set out to do?
me: it is why I didn’t do the hour.
you: aye right, more like you were knackered and there was a tub of rocky-road sitting on the couch and you wanted some!
me: ….have you got cameras hidden in my house? It’s the cat isn’t it? She’s actually a lifelike robot with cameras for eyes
you: you’ll never know…

Deacon Blue : Dignity (thanks to LeeAnne for reminding me of an awesome song on her 100th)

Feb 4 2012

Saturday 4 February 2012: Bump

The missus was sorting out some drawers today and found this. It’s a nighty (not usually worn with jeans) that used to hang in an approximation of closed at the front. The bump appears to be getting in the way.

Grim day today after the last few where it’s been blue skies and sunshine. Windy and wet. Which has meant an overload of tv and timewasting, none of it productive

you: that’s a nighty?
me: I believe that’s the correct terminology yes
you: looks a bit draughty
me: I don’t think that’s the point
you: exactly, and now look at the position you’re in
me: good point. Flannelette from now on.

Jeff Buckley : Hallelujah (although the missus claimed it sounded more like the alexandra burke version that I sang!)

Feb 3 2012

Friday 3 February 2012: Don’t look directly at the sun….

…unless you have a 6 stop ND filter selotaped to your face. It would appear to work quite nicely. Shooting straight at the sun but still slow enough to get some motion blur in the anemometer.

Caught up with Oz for an hour on the phone this morning. Then through to catch up with the boys and Napoleon senior for a few jars tonight. We had intended going to indigo yard a "pint of nostalgia" as Colin put it. We spent many a happy friday night in there after work…..then I was informed it was £4.55 a pint, so I didn’t even have a jar, and we left. Turns out nostalgia has been hit pretty hard by inflation.

Home for fish and chips and a bit of telly. Job done.

you: an hour on the phone? What kind of man are you?
me: eh, I think you’ve asked that before…
you: and the answer is still the same. A girly one.
me: but I hadn’t spoken to him for a ages.
you: real men don’t do talking
me: oh
you: and how could you possibly need to "catch up" with the boys?
me: what?
you: it’s all of 48 hours since you last saw them. Man up princess.
me: ok ok I just went for beer.
you: that’s more like it.

Nirvana : Smells like teen spirit

Feb 2 2012

Thursday 2 February 2012: Blue skies

Today was the coldest day of the year so far. -6C this morning on the weather station. And it was a beautiful day. Cold, clear, crisp, sunny. Love it.

Drove through to Stirling for climbing tonight to be told that it was too busy so we couldn’t get in. So we drove home. Pretty annoying. So I did a bit of a workout in the garage instead.

Greggs have foiled my "no more doughnut’s" plan. I was in buying one for sbarlster and I, the last I ever intended to buy. Just as I was paying I noticed "NEW! Blueberry Burst doughnuts". Curse you Greggs. Blueberry jam in a doughnut? Was the design brief "test rxs’ willpower"?

you: "blue skies"?
me: aye it was lovely eh?
you: I have no freakin’ idea as you posted a black and white picture
me: oh yeah, there is that. I just liked this building. I pass it every day but had never noticed it.
you: whoopee. I’m glad you told me that. Oh, hang on, no, it’s added no value to my life what so ever. And how tight are you buying one doughnut between two of you
me: I didn’t! It was one each.
you: aye right. I bet it was one, which you cut in half, and took the side with the most jam.
me: it wasn’t
you: whatever. Skinflint

Bob Dylan : Blowin’ in the wind (baby liked it. Kicking loads)

Feb 1 2012

Wednesday 1 February 2012: Closeup cowboy

me: what?
you: leave the dude alone!
me: what?!
you: every time you go to the abbotsford you take his picture!
me: never from this close before though.
you: ooh exciting!
me: I know.

Franz Ferdinand : Take me out