Oct 31 2011

Monday 31 October 2011: How it should be done.

On the back of this photograph is written:

A fence!
I missed the owl
Barnsea pottery
May 1988

It was taken by my missus when she was a bairn. It made me smile.

Think I might sleep in a bed tonight.

you: what kind of comment is that to end with?
me: well I might
you: and why would you think of doing otherwise?
me: I have no idea, but in the last month I have slept in a bed once.
you: you are freakin’ bizarre sometimes. Where have you been sleeping?
me: on the couch.
you: holy crap you must have done something pretty bad to be relegated not even to the spare room but to the couch.
me: nope, not done anything, it’s through some random decision making in my head
you: and yer missus doesn’t find this strange?
me: she finds a lot of things I do strange, but if it means I’m not rolling about and keeping her awake in our bed she wouldn’t care if I slept in the garage.
you: which you haven’t done yet.
me: yet.

Oct 30 2011

Sunday 30 October 2011: Ooh, exciting

Out for a wander in the local woods for a few hours today. Not sure when they started as I haven’t been up there for quite a while, but they are building some cycle trails. It doesn’t look like they are building any jumps or drops in to the trail though, which I think is a bit of a missed opportunity. I’ll give them a bell tomorrow to ask what the deal is.

It was dark by the time I got home as I forgot the clocks had changed. It was so mild out though it was nice walking back in the dusk. Right up to the point I saw some ghosts in the trees ahead lit by candles.

you: you are a proper big scaredy cat!
me: well I didn’t know if they’d been hung out by parents to take their wee bairns on a ghost walk…
you: or?
me: neds setting a trap to distract me and steal all my camera gear.
you: and you think option 2 was a possibility?
me: well you never know
you: you live in falkirk, not Compton California.

Oct 29 2011

Saturday 29 October 2011: It’s all a blur

Spent the day looking around car dealers. Now that we have finally sold the house we can get round to replacing the car. Decisions decisions decisions. It wasn’t a lot of fun.

you: basically you didn’t enjoy it because you didn’t go to the maserati garage eh?
me: basically
you: idiot
me: no, I’m sure a quattroporte would meet all my needs. A bit of luxury and a V8 that makes a nice noise
you: a second hand mondeo would do you just as well
me: except for the luxury and V8 bit?
you: well, yeah, except for those bits.

Oct 28 2011

Friday 28 October 2011: Never to be seen again. Woo Hoo!

The sale went through. The cash is in my bank account. Or it was, it’s now winging it’s way to pay off a bit of debt. I only own one house, and I couldn’t be happier about that.

It did feel kinda sad locking the place up for the last time knowing that I’d never set foot in there again. We spent 10 years of our lives there, and it was a good 10 years. We just kind of out grew it I guess.

Anyway, it’s the first home of a new couple now. We left them a bottle of wine and a wee welcome note.

you: ok, 2 points/queries I’d like to make today if that’s ok
me: well you don’t normally ask permission so it’s put me in defensive mode that you have, but go on.
you: ok, 1. "pay off a bit of debt". Is this to loan sharks to cover a gambling habbit? Or to you dealer to pay for a drug habbit?
me: well, no, it’s to the mortgage.
you: thought as much. Boring.
me: no, not boring. Life. But go on, what’s point 2.
you: "we just kind of out grew it I guess". There are 2 of you. There were four bedrooms. That’s just stupid.
me: well, you know what I mean.
you: yes what you mean is that you bought so much junk off ebay there wasn’t room to store it any more
me: that’s about right
you: and now you have a room you call the telescope room because that’s all that’s in it
me: well it’s the telescope and piano room now. But point taken.
you: idiot.

Oct 27 2011

Thursday 27 October 2011: One more sleep….

…..and it’ll be gone. Finally the house sale goes through tomorrow and we get paid. I have to go up there tomorrow to turn the gas and water back on, and just check the heating works, then hopefully by lunchtime our bank balance will show the proceeds of a house sale. It’s gonna be so nice to not have 2 mortgages, 2 council taxes, 2 insurances etc to pay. Must try to stay away from the Maserati garage between getting the money and moving it to the new mortgage. Should manage that….just about.

Or maybe I could negotiate 2 or three days on the Maltese Falcon instead of the Maserati.

Or maybe I could get a hovercraft.

Or maybe I could buy a field and a quad bike

Or maybe I could…..

you: Stop being an idiot and pay off some of your mortgage?
me: b-o-r-i-n-g
you: fine. Knock yerself out. Go and buy a hovercraft and see how the missus likes it
me: maybe I will
you: well don’t come crying to me when she kicks you out
me: it wouldn’t matter anyway, I’ve got a house sitting empty as it has done for the last 2 years that I can’t get rid of ……..oh hang on a minute….. WOO HOO.

Oct 26 2011

Wednesday 26 October 2011: plinky plonk

Oh dear. A ‘flowers in vase’ blip. Not good. On the plus side I have no idea what kind of flower it is, and I think it looks kinda cool.

The in-laws arrived today. Not in the usual means of transport, but in a white van laden with a piano, a drinks cabinet, and a broken fake christmas tree, among other things.

you: and what are you going to do with a piano?
me: sit it beside the telescope
you: Oh of course. That was obvious. The telescope that you never use
me: it’ll be in good company then. Or maybe the missus will take it up again. Or maybe I’ll get lessons
you: to go along with the guitar lessons you never got round to taking
me: well….
you: or the swimming lessons you never got round to taking?
me: well…..
you: I dare say the drinks cabinet will get some use at least
me: I hope so.

Oct 25 2011

Tuesday 25 October 2011: Tree on fire.

I’d like a tree like this in my garden. I like the colours it turns at this time of year.

Good day today. Pictures taken. All’s well

you: this is a back blip isn’t it
me: yup, how did you know?
you: because you can’t remember what you did.

Oct 24 2011

Monday 24 October 2011: Documents delivered

Just grabbed this on the way to work via the solicitors. I decided that I didn’t want to risk signed documents going awol in the post so hand delivered them

Pitch dark when I left this morning. 6 months of this. Booo.

you: trying to make yourself sound important?
me: no. I just said, I didn’t want the documents going missing
you: documents? It was a signed bit of paper
me: I’m sure that still constitutes a document
you: so you physically placed them in the solicitors hand?
me: well, no, they weren’t open so I slid them under the door to the office block
you: oh that sounds totally secure. Much better than if a postie had taken them right in and handed them to the secretary. Yeah nice work. Genius.

Oct 23 2011

Sunday 23 October 2011: Money down the pan

Oh dear, what’s happened here? Has Napoleon just lost a wedge of cash on a horse in the bookies?

Nope. He’s done his usual. Decided that having finished his post pub pizza he is now too tired to continue and needs some shut eye before managing the final couple of hundred yards home.

Cracking night out with Colin and Napoleon last night. 9 pints, 1 desperado, 3 shots and a southern comfort and lemonade. Since we have started the poster we have now visited 128 pubs. We only have 12 left to do and that will be the poster complete.

Missed my last train home (by 3 or 4 hours) so kipped on the couch at Napoleon’s. Up at half 8 and on the 9am train home to catch up on strictly.

Then decided I needed a bit of air so went to go a wee ride on the bike. A wee ride like 5 miles or so. 26 miles later I got back home. Totally enjoyed it.

you: There has to be some mistake?
me: with what?
you: your write-up.
me: how come?
you: because what sort of freak has so much booze, gets up early to get home to catch up on a dance based tv show, then goes out for a bike ride?
me: a freak like me.
you: well you said it not me!
me: ach aye, but we were out a l-o-n-g time, it wasn’t like I drank all that in a couple of hours!
you: you still rushed home to catch up on a dance show. And that is unforgivable.

Oct 22 2011

Saturday 22 October 2011: The shore.

3:30pm start today to get a few more boozers ticked off the tour. The Starbank was pretty nice.

An old boy came over and started speaking to us in The Annfield. Turns out he was the owner. Mr Tommy Preston. He was obviously very proud of his former career. He had what appeared to be some sort of top trumps card with himself on it in his wallet. We certainly weren’t the first to have been shown it going by the state it was in. Kinda cool to chat to an old timer that actually also asked questions rather than just talking at us.

This is a backblip and I can’t actually remember what else I did

you: which kind of suggests it wasn’t an early finish
me: no. 11 hours later I was asleep on Napoleons couch.
you: 11 hours? What’s up with you ya lightweight. The boozers are open until 3 you know.
me: Ach we went to espionage the back of 1, it was rubbish so we left and got a pizza.
you: missing out on drinking and eating? Eatin’s cheatin’ you know.

Oct 21 2011

Friday 21 October 2011: Passing time.

Waiting on Em’s flight to arrive.

Up at the old house again today. The buyers had asked if they could get in to measure up for blinds. Less than a week to go now until the sale goes through. I cannae wait.

you: as predicted we’re back to the phone camera blips
me: well I did say it would be.
you: and have you got a beard
me: it does look a bit that way yes.
you: scruffy git.

Oct 20 2011

Thursday 20 October 2011: Marshmallow

"mmmph phlumf" said Jim
"That’s what you get for going on about marshmallows while I am roasting over a fire" laughed Eric
"blulf hrumph" said Jim
"what’s that? You’re sorry?" said Eric
"I think he said ‘get stuffed’" cried Tarquin
"That’s not very nice" said Eric. "I’m docking you a weeks holiday"
"Makes a change" said Jim
"Funny how you can speak clearly now" said Grant
"Right, I’m off on special space police business. Be safe." said Hubert
"Bye" they all said in unison.

The end.

Good climb tonight. We made our winter migration to Stirling. They have auto belays back. Hard to make yourself let go when you use one of those for the first time.

you: so back to the usual desperate camera phone blips tomorrow?
me: no doubt.
you: probably for the best
me: I know. Trying to be creative is tiring.
you: is that what you were trying to be?

note to self. Poor composition. Main character badly positioned in frame.

Oct 19 2011

Wednesday 19 October 2011: Neee Naw

Just in time the space police arrived. They had the evil camping robot in the police mothership tractor beam, but he was still trying to make a run for it. Eric’s walkie talkie had just exploded, his mum wasn’t going to be happy. That had been a christmas present

"see, I told you I harked something last night" cried Tarquin
"you didn’t hark anything, you heard it" muttered Jim
"has anyone got any marshmallows?" whispered Grant
"didn’t you ask that last night?" muttered Jim
"STOP BLETHERING!" shouted Hubert over is police ship tannoy
"hark at him!" cried Tarquin
"will you stop harking and crying" said Grant
"hey, it’s cousin Hubert. Hi cousin Hubert" muttered Jim "got any marshmallows?"
"Never mind freakin marshmallows, get me down from here" screamed Eric

you: running out of steam a bit now eh
me: totally.
you: hit any boozer tonight?
me: aye 3 more ticked off. The Windsor Buffet was pretty nice.
you: was there?
me: what?
you: a buffet?
me: sadly no. But with toasties just a quid I think I may have found somewhere to have lunch when the canteen subsidy goes.

Oct 18 2011

Tuesday 18 October 2011: Fee Fi Fo Fum…..

…I smell the blood of a slightly singed space man.

Jim, Grant and Tarquin were beginning to realise that thing’s weren’t looking good for poor old Eric. He was still smiling though, so at least his mum would be pleased. They had managed to sneak up on the camp fire, but Tarquin couldn’t work out how his over sized lolly pop was going to help him.

It was starting to look like the laser eyed harbinger of doom was going to win this space battle.

"hark! what is that I hear?" cried Tarquin
"who says ‘hark’ in this day and age?" muttered Jim
"has anyone got any marsh-mallows" whispered Grant

you: hang on a minute! He has laser eyes, and the other night he had lasers raining from the sky!
me: yeah. And?
you: tonight he’s sitting on a rock cooking over a camp fire.
me: hey everyone’s gotta have a hobby
you: a little consistency might be nice though! Make up your mind, demon robot from the future, or Bush Tucker Man’s protege?
me: Bush Tucker man. I loved that dude.

Oct 17 2011

Monday 17 October 2011: One for all……

…and all for one.

Eric may have been a major pain in the @rse. He may have always been cancelling holidays and talking down to them. He may have thought it was funny to put salt in their coffees instead of sugar. But he was still the guvnor. There was no way Jim, Grant, and Tarquin were gonna let the red eyed demon that captured him yesterday just take him without a fight. Oh no. This was gonna get serious! And Tarquin had his oversized lollipop. How could they lose?

Rank day today. The roads were running like rivers when I left work. I must have cycled at light speed thought as only my feet got wet.

you: or you’ve got mudguards?
me: well, yeah. That too. I’m sure the lightspeed cycling helped though
you: no. I think it was probably the mudguards.
me: and the ligh…….
you: NO. It was the mudguards!

Oct 16 2011

Sunday 16 October 2011: You’re never fully dressed……

…..without a smile. At least that’s what Eric’s mum had always told him. He really couldn’t see what there was to smile about in his present situation but thought he’d best keep the smile up just to be safe. He’d tried to raise his mum on the radio, but realised when he couldn’t get hold of her that it was Sunday night and she’d be at the bingo.

Tonight is the first time in ages I’ve enjoyed my photography. It turns out all I needed to do was get the smoke machine and lasers out of the loft. I could have saved myself a lot of money yesterday. Ach well, you live and learn eh.

Caught up with strictly this morning. Very good. Some good folk in it this year. Based on all the crappy telly I watch someone at the wedding last night commented that they thought I was the gayest heterosexual man they had ever met. As the first thing I did this morning was watch strictly come dancing I had some concerns that perhaps they were right.

you: there was a grand prix on today wasnt there?
me: so?
you: and rugby?
me: so?
you: why weren’t you watching either of those?
me: because I wanted to watch strictly.
you: if it wasn’t for the wife, the penchant for excessive beer drinking, the complete lack of any sense of style, and the strange compulsion to do random diy, normally in your slippers, then I’d have perhaps be making the same judgement as the wedding goer.
me: using words like "penchant" I’m starting to wonder about you.

Oct 15 2011

Saturday 15 October 2011: Party time.

Today I drove through to Edinburgh to pick up most of the photography kit I’ve bought. Pretty much filled the car. What I’m going to do with it now I have no idea.

The missus went and got her hair done for Fraser’s wedding and had lunch with her bro. Then I helped bro-in-law fit the hard top for his boxster, which means that is officially the end of summer.

Then I drove to the wedding, without the missus :-( She had a migraine, so sat and watched strictly….. with nicely done up hair.

Good fun at the do. If you knew what Napoleon looked like you could almost make him out leaning in a nonchalant fashion on the other side of the dancefloor. I was driving so was off the bevvy.

you: oof that must have hurt?
me: what?
you: you being around all that booze and not being able to have any
me: I keep telling you, I’m not an alkie!
you: and I keep not believing you.
me: I’ve had two pints in the last fortnight!
you: just you keep telling yourself that.

Oct 14 2011

Friday 14 October 2011: Late?

Is it not a bit late in the year for butterflies? I have no idea. It felt really quite warm today. I don’t know if it actually was warm, or just warmer than the last couple of days.

I spent several hours up at the old house today. I had to try and get the central heating up and running. Initially the boiler wouldn’t light so I thought I was in for yet more expense. But I tried to light the hob and it wouldn’t light either, so I sniffed at the gas and it didn’t smell very gassy. I guess the gas sitting in the pipes had lost it’s gassy-ness. I don’t even know if that’s possible, but after letting it hiss away for 30 seconds or so it smelled gassy and lit. And after leaving the boiler trying to fire for a while it lit too. And after turning the gas fire on and off until my hands hurt, it fired too. So it must be possible, I just don’t know how. Anyway, whatever, I was happy to get it all going and all the radiators warm.

you: a fair few "no idea’s" and "don’t know’s" in todays waffle
me: that’s true
you: you know why don’t you?
me: why?
you: because you were sniffing gas you idiot! You’ve probably killed half of your brain
me: didn’t you read it? I said it didn’t smell very gassy.
you: oh. Well that’s ok then. Muppet.

Oct 13 2011

Thursday 13 October 2011: Home sweet home…..

….for some poor bu99er. Or at the very least where they sat to drink the vodka.

Work was utterly cack today. No progress whatsover. Mainly down to a pc that isn’t up to the task. It just sits there with 100% of the cpu being used and me unable to do anything.

And tonight I got a puncture on the bike that sits on the turbo trainer. Can anyone explain how that’s even possible.

you: it was me
me: what was you?
you: the puncture. I got fed up of you mentioning the turbo trainer so I stuck a pin through the tyre.
me: thanks for that ya bam
you: no worries. No way you’re gonna burn off that doughnut from Greggs now eh?
me: are you keeping tabs on my cake consumption
you: Aye. And I need a bigger book for it.

Oct 12 2011

Wednesday 12 October 2011: The shape of things to come

At some point next year we are losing our subsidised canteen. Boab, Monochrome and StevieFish tempted me out today to try out what might become a regular lunchtime trek. To Crombies who are famed for their sausages, and have a hot food counter. Disappointment 1: No sausages on today. So it was steak pie mash and peas for me. Disappointment 2: It cost £3.50. Significantly more than a meal at the canteen Disappointment 3: Got back to the office to find it had leaked all over my jacket.

But then I tasted the steak pie and it was delicious. So I forgot about disappointments 1 and 3.

Out for a quick jar and curry after work, on the 7 train. Didn’t get home until 940. Someone had been hit by a train at Linlithgow. Not good. And as usual in times of boredom I took to eating, and had a pack of sandwiches and a snickers, even though I had just eaten.

you: Disappointment 4: this blip
me: ach it’s just a memory trigger for me ain’t it. My first trip to crombies.
you: And how tight are you, complaining about £3.50 for your lunch?
me: well when tomorrow I’ll have a curry and rice for £1.60 I think you’ll see my point.
you: No. I don’t. You’re just tight. And greedy.

Oct 11 2011

Tuesday 11 October 2011: Tis a puzzle

That sits on my desk. Day in. Day out.

you: and it’s never been taken to pieces I’d say
me: has so!
you: oh aye? And who did you get to help you put it back together?
me: no one. I did it all by myself
you: aye right. My opinion of you is slowly dropping
me: and why might that be?
you: because now not only are you an idiot, but you’re a liar too.

Oct 10 2011

Monday 10 October 2011: Barrel:Scraped.

make of it what you will.

you: oh man I don’t even want to be here any more. Never mind any poor sods that accidentally end up here.
me: I know I know. I’ve realised what I need to do to get out of my photographic funk. It’s all in hand.
you: I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark. You’re gonna spend a fortune on some new bit of kit that you think will help you
me: how did you know?!
you: because you’re a predictable idiot.
me: oh. I see.

Oct 9 2011

Sunday 9 October 2011: Let sleeping cats lie.

Mollie has taken to curling up in some fairly stupid places. Like inside pillow cases (that already contain a pillow). Or today’s fine example, in a piled up duvet, where she can’t be seen from the door, meaning an "I’m knackered" flying leap from me onto the bed could result in a bit of a scary wake up call for her.

you: holy crap! Not only are you dredging the depths by using a cat blip, but you have given it a freakin’ awful title too
me: I know. Has my life really come to this?
you: unless you manage some fast talkin’ now then it would appear so. What have you done today?
me: went to my new favourite shop. Wilkinsons.
you: oh man. It’s worse than I ever feared. You’re life is over buddy.
me: Wilko’s is great. Where else could I have got a roll of roofing felt and some pick and mix sweets at the same time?
you: is that really your favourite thing from the entire weekend?
me: No. The new Yeo Valley advert is awesome.
you: ok that’s 2 years in a row you have mentioned a Yeo Valley advert. It would any meaningful life you may have had ended quite a while ago.

Oct 8 2011

Saturday 8 October 2011: Hackery

This is the first mod/hackery I’ve done for quite a while. Because the xbox in the garage isn’t networked it was getting annoying having to burn to dvd any video I wanted to watch in there while on the turbo trainer.

5 minutes of soldering later and now there is a usb port protruding from the front of the controller. Whack in a usb stick, fire up xbmc and away we go. Awesome.

you: 2 out of 10.
me: aw come on it’s cool!
you: you could at least have set the usb port back in the hole so it looked neat
me: hmm, yeah, maybe.
you: and what films would you want to watch while on the turbo trainer anyway?
me: "Bad Boys" today. Can’t beat a bit of Will Smith/Martin Lawrence action
you: you do realise that entire sentence could be read in a way I don’t think you intended
me: oh aye. Never mind. All together now….
……bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you.

Oct 7 2011

Friday 7 October 2011: Heading home.

Decided that to try and get my photo-mojo back I had to make a bit of effort. So I headed up the hill for what promised to be a lovely sunset. It wasn’t. That didn’t work then. And the remaining shot is so wee you can barely see the birds that were "heading home".

Ate like a king today. For lunch: 3 slices of toast (buttered), can of branston baked beans, M&S Piri Piri mayo. For tea. 4 slices of toast (buttered), 5 fish fingers, lots of petis pois. Formed in to two sandwiches, one with lemon and pepper salad cream, one with M&S Piri Piri mayo. Delicious.

Climbing was good this morning too, which was a surprise after almost a month off

you: shame it was branston and not heinz beans
me: wrong. Branston’s are better
you: no, you’re wrong. Everyone knows "beanz meanz heinz".
me: rubbish! Just like you to get sucked in to marketing hype
you: says the man that believes "everything tastes supreme with heinz salad cream"
me: but it does.
you: and what’s with the piri piri mayo on fish fingers, that’s just gross
me: no, it’s exotic.
you: idiot. And what’s the title of this blip all about?

Oct 6 2011

Thursday 6 October 2011: The shed

Fairly mental day today weather wise. I believe that one minute it was blue skies, the next it was black and tipping down. I say "I believe" because I can’t see a single window from where I sit at work. The only indication that it is tipping down is the sound of the rain hammering on the tin roof of what gets called an office.

you: can’t see a single window?
me: nope
you: that’s gotta suck
me: pretty much. If I turn round I can see through what pass for windows, about 15 feet up, and all you can see is the sky, a chimney, and some treetops.
you: "what pass for windows"? They are either glass or they aren’t
me: ok, they are windows
you: stop yer whining then

Oct 5 2011

Wednesday 5 October 2011: Kitty

Yesterdays blip resulted in me getting abuse from Napoleon to say that I wasn’t doing enough to secure the pub tour kitty. So I have taken remedial steps to improve the situation and placed it all in a glass. Two hundred quid and seventy five pence.

Why I am taking any heed at all of anything he says though I have no idea. He is a world class knob-head. Not content with being in the lead in the pub tour, tonight he brazenly suggested going to another boozer, right after I had said I had to go home. Napoleon I hate you. No seriously ;-)

you: it would be a mistake to hate any of your mates
me: aye? And why’s that?
you: because you don’t have many.
me: aye I do!
you: no, you think you do. Your parents pay them to be friends with you, just like they pay yer missus to stay with you
me: blimey it’s a long time since I’ve heard that one!

Oct 4 2011

Tuesday 4 October 2011: Dear oh dear

Where has all my blip mojo gone? Same place as my enthusiasm for everything else I guess.

you: miserable git today
me: not really. Just very meh
you: much like this photo
me: it’s not even meh. It’s just "can’t even be bothered to try" tonight
you: so you piled a load of random things up and took a picture of them
me: I didn’t even go to that much effort. This is just what my desk looks like
you: why is there a toothbrush sitting on a pile of cds next to a load of money?
me: I have no idea. There just is.

Oct 3 2011

Monday 3 October 2011: Through the round window.

The sunrise this morning was absolutely freakin incredible. Sadly I was in a rush and this is the best shot I got of it. Good start to the day though.

Got a puncture cycling to the station on the way home. Bad middle.

Had a big slice of hot apple and blackberry pie instead of doing any exercise. Good finish.

you: all you’ve done since yer 100 mile cycle is eat.
me: mmm, a point that hasn’t escaped my notice.
you: you can’t still be claiming that you’re "just putting back on what you lost"
me: I’m trying
you: lets be clear about this. You’re not. Porker

Oct 2 2011

Sunday 2 October 2011: Me no likey. (2?) (last day of holiday)

I thought perhaps my singular conker placed in the corner of one of the rooms would be enough to keep the spiders away this year. Apparently not.

Didn’t get dressed until 4:30 today. And that was only so I didn’t get arrested in Tesco.

you: I hope that you are talking about Horse Chestnuts here with regards to a ‘conker’, and not revealing that you have a singular testicle which you are attempting to use as a spider deterrent by dangling it in the corner of a room
me: holy crap what kind of messed up mind have you got?
you: you tell me.
me: Of course I’m talking about horse chestnuts
you: why the frick would putting a conker in the corner of a room deter spiders?
me: I believe it’s an old wives tale so thought I’d give it a go
you: oh, so I guess you believe the "Don’t swallow gum or it will stay in your stomach for seven years" too
me: yup, so that strawberry hubba-bubba I swallowed in 2004 should be just about ready to leave
you: hubba-bubba is bubble gum, that takes 11 years.
me: aw naw.
you: idiot

Oct 1 2011

Saturday 1 October 2011: Symbolic

Broke my 30 mile lap record on the bike today. By 4 seconds. 4! I guess if I hadn’t got stuck at traffic lights it might have been 30 seconds. But still, not as much as I hoped. 1:44:51.

Then through to the swamp for the youngest swamplings first birthday. I very quickly found my spot: on the couch in the playroom for 4 player mario kart with the bairns. I was consistently 3rd. Not good enough.

you: Symbolic? shambolic more like.
me: no, symbolic
you: of what? Does it symbolise a manky old banana cut in half and sitting on your kitchen floor? As if that’s what it’s symbolic of then you hit the nail on the head
me: no, Great Britain today
you: ok normally you lose me but today you are pulling out all the stops
me: well today a 26 year old high temperature record was broken
you: oh yeah it was lovely eh? I hit the beach, then went to a the park for an ice cream and a paddle in the fountains. Then I went back to the beach.
me: exactly. You were on the lower part of the banana. While I was on the upper part. Where it was grey. All day. Getting gradually greyer. And wetter. Until the drive home was horrible with standing water and full speed wipers.
you: "nae luck." As I believe youths of your generation were fond of saying.