Aug 31 2011

Wednesday 31 August 2011: The song and dance man.

Minus the dance. This old boy was listening to his tape walkman and singing along in the boozer tonight. That’s right. I said tape. I fairly often see a bloke on the train that still listens to a tape walkman too. In the past I’ve often wanted to give him one of my older mp3 players and see if the concept of it blows his mind. But I haven’t. I dare say he knows what an mp3 player is. And for whatever reason he has chosen not to have one. So just let him be is my opinion.

I loved my cassette walkman. It survived all the way round my solo tour of Australia when I was 17. I still have the walkman somewhere. I still have the one cassette I listened to all the way round too. It was a mix tape I had recorded off the radio and off cd’s. It features the Four Non Blondes. I’d rather not dwell on that. Do young un’s these days even have knowledge of mix tapes? I fear not.

you: Four Non Blondes. Ha Ha.
me: aye, I know. I don’t recall at the moment which one of their 2 hits it was
you: they had 2?
me: aye. Something or other about a baby. And something else about not giving up.
you: not at the boozer(s) tonight?
me: we were, but we only ticked off 4.
you: fail.
me: I know. But I was bought a ladyboy.
you: for what?
me: being grumpy and swearing
you: is that not your normal state?
me: grumpy? Yes. Swearing. I hope not.
you: It fkn is.

edit: thanks to scotchlass for pointing out I failed to mention nachos. We did have nachos. And we voted them the best value nachos we have had on the tour. We had them in the abbey on clerk st. £5 for beef nachos? Bargain

Aug 30 2011

Tuesday 30 August 2011: Movie time

Tonight we watched Source Code. We both quite enjoyed it.

And I ate a tray of M&S potato cube things. Then the missus pointed out the tray was for 4.

you: nice to see you tidied your study before watching the film
me: yeah the missus doesn’t like coming in to my study unless it’s tidy
you: hang on I was kidding. That’s it tidy?
me: well yeah.
you: so what’s the big black thing on the floor under the telly?
me: my old monitor
you: what?! You got the new one months ago!
me: and?
you: normal people don’t store monitors face down on the floor
me: it would appear that they do now
you: it would appear that you are trying to class yourself as normal
me: me? As normal as they come
you: says the man who gave his couch custom lighting yesterday. And maybe if you ate less buttery spuds your forehead wouldn’t be so shiny in this picture.

Aug 29 2011

Monday 29 August 2011: Pimp my sofa

Tonight I gave the sofa some custom lighting. I did the big one too.

you: I’m lost for words
me: good
you: I’m not really. I just don’t know which word to start with
me: how about "sweet!"?
you: that’s not one of the options
me: "totally sweet"?
you: that’s definitely not one of the options
me: "unbelievable"?
you: possible, but no
me: "pretty"?
you: I try to avoid words like pretty
me: "ice cool"?
you: I’m not from the 80’s
me: "delightful"?
you: see pretty above. How about you just take the first letter from each of your options and you’re gonna be right on target.

me: that wasn’t worth the effort.

Aug 28 2011

Sunday 28 August 2011: Accidents happen

I bought a kindle. Oops.

The teacher and his bairns and missus came round today. We realised it was Christmas since I last saw them all which is a bit on the long side.

Ate half of the blueberry cake the missus made. It was delicious. I told K I was 100% sure that all the berries had risen to the top and not the bottom. She was pretty sure that had never happened in the history of cake baking, but because I was so sure then maybe it had. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so sure, the missus had turned it over before icing. Oops

you: you bought a kindle?
me: yeah
you: is that because you have read so many books on your previous ebook reader that you have worn the screen out
me: …..
you: let me answer that for you. No it’s not. It’s because you are an idiot. You haven’t read a book in almost a year
me: I know, maybe having a kindle will remedy that
you: or maybe it won’t. And I’m going to bet everything I have that you are now reading the hobbit on it
me: good guess
you: and that when you’re done you won’t read anything else until you read the hobbit again next year. Why don’t you just buy a physical copy of the freakin’ book? Oh that’s right, you already have one. So basically you haven’t bought an ebook reader. You’ve bought an electronic version of the The Hobbit. To go with your other electronic version of The Hobbit. You are a fool

Aug 27 2011

Saturday 27 August 2011: Weedy

Went through to town to catch the last day of the World Press Photo exhibition. Some amazing, some awesome, and some meh.

Then we went for a cuppa and a cake on the high street. Sitting outside the missus commented it was like being on holiday. And she was spot on. Right down to being charged tourist prices. Four quid for a slice of cake? It was nice though.

My wee(est) god daughter has been in hospital the last few days. Not good. Got a text last night to say that a wee star sticker had just been removed from her vocal chords! The inflammation caused by that was causing the poor breathing, it had just taken a while to work out what was going on. She’s on the mend now though so that’s all that matters.

Xfactor again tonght. And I’m ashamed to say I quite enjoyed it. And now there is a Will Young thing on. I love Will Young.

you: you do realise you just typed that out loud
me: what?
you: I love Will Young.
me: do you? I like him too.
you: you missed the quotes out on purpose ya bam
me: did I?
you: I warned you yesterday!
me: this is fun, having the upper hand for few days.
you: …I’m just….eh….feeling a bit under the weather.
me: awwww, poor you.
you: well….eh….well…..your journal is like the photos at the exhibition, except for the amazing and awesome parts. And you smell like poop.

Aug 26 2011

Friday 26 August 2011: Stone cold

It appears Avonbridge has had a spate of murders/accidents. As there at least 2 outlines that I spotted. Either that or the vandals are oot and aboot. I don’t mind vandalism of tarmac much. Who cares? If it’s witty or amusing or interesting in any way then I’m all for it. Touch someone elses property though and you should have yer spraycan inserted where the sun fails to shine. Oh, and no modification of road markings. That would be bad.

Climbing this morning, then 25 miles on the bike this arvo. Knackered. I think I would fit quite nicely into one of the outlines and just have a wee rest.

you: you can’t pick and choose which vandalism you like
me: I just did.
you: and it makes you sound like an idiot
me: there’s only one idiot around here matey and it’s not me
you: you’d better watch your lip, you’ve been getting a bit big for your boots this last day or two
me: oh yeah? And whatcha gonna do about it?
you: lets just say there might be a chalk outline in your size on your street if you keep it up. And it won’t be due to a vandal
me: did anyone hear that? I’ve just had my life threatened. Somebody call the cops

Aug 25 2011

Thursday 25 August 2011: See you Jimmy

Spotted these three ladies sitting waiting on their train this morning. They’re not traditional ’see you jimmy’ hats. In fact I don’t think I’ve seen that style before.

you: More like ginger viking hats if you ask me
me: aye, I did kind of think that myself.
you: no you didn’t
me: I did
you: no you didn’t, you’re just copying me
me: and why would I do that?
you: because you are unable to fully develop your own thoughts outside a very limited subset of subject matter.
me: That’s a bit harsh!
you: ok. So what are you thinking of now
me: nachos.
you: quod erat demonstrandum

Aug 24 2011

Wednesday 24 August 2011: I can see you.

How many hundreds of people has this dude watched walking past? Probably thousands of people. Actually maybe even 100’s of thousands through the years? Naw, mebbie not.

Anyway. He lives here. We were down in leith again on the pub tour. 5 more ticked off. Mostly quite nice, except for the final one, the Tam O’ Shanter. Was that really a female at the jukebox?

you: not a single person
me: eh?
you: that’s how many people ‘he’ has watched walk past
me: well there were 4 of us, and at least 2 others walked past. So that’s 6 for a start
you: he’s a stone carving you muppet! Seeing isn’t in his top five abilities.
me: you know what I meant though
you: no. His top skill is being corroded by acid rain
me: blimey I haven’t heard acid rain mentioned since I watched Blue Peter in the 90’s
you: I’m going to make it trendy again
me: not sure it was ever trendy.

Aug 23 2011

Tuesday 23 August 2011: Worst. Blip. Ever.

And so the lack of inspiration continues. Where did all the motivation go?

Brief wander at lunchtime and I spotted some Hare Krishna’s tinkling their bells and "singing" whatever it is they sing. It just reminded me of Grand Theft Auto, where groups of Hare Krishna’s roamed the streets tinking their bells and singing. If you ran them all over in one go you got a big cheery GOURANGA on the screen. Oh happy memories of time spent playing computer games in the flat.

Turns out you can get GTA 1 and 2 for free these days straight from the rockstar site. So I did. I went in search of Hare Krishnas in order to get a blip. But didn’t find any so just blipped a youtube video. As I said. Worst. Blip. Ever.

you: oh the memories of GTA.
me: aye, it was awesome eh.
you: remember the cossie?
me: oh yeah, that was my favourite.
you: I bet kids today couldn’t play it.
me: never mind couldn’t. Wouldn’t. Not enough polygons for them
you: yer right.
me: this feels kinda like we are bonding.
you: we can’t have that. You’re a tool.
me: good good. Normality resumes

Aug 22 2011

Monday 22 August 2011: Lost the love

These balloons were just lying in the road as I left the office, running late for the train, quick snap. Blip done. Seems to be going that way a lot lately, not a lot of passion for my blips.

JH was in town today on his way back from a stag do so a group from the office met him for lunch which was cool. We met in Grand Cru. That used to be a regular haunt for me. I don’t think I’ve had a stella in there since that fateful night with auslaendar when his appetite for stella nearly killed me. That was his fault that was ;-)

Anyway, it had been done up probably more than once since I was last in, and looked pretty cool. And the £5.50 burger was really nice. And the Risotto looked ace too. I think I might be going back for lunch.

you: how did Auslaender’s appetite for stella nearly kill you?
me: because we were blethering and I didn’t realise he was doing 20minute pints.
you: and what’s that got to do with you
me: I was matching him without realising.
you: well that’s your mistake.
me: no it’s not. Any drinking escapades are his fault, whether he’s out or not. It’s just the way it goes.
you: hardly seems fair. That’s probably why he left for Germany, to escape your blame culture.
me: I hope not. Must get my @ss in gear and get over to see him…..

Aug 21 2011

Sunday 21 August 2011: Coupe

One of those days for photos, only one taken all day, on a whim, and this is that.

Went to take a look at some new motors with the missus. She likes the scirocco, I’m not so sure. I’m fairly unexcited by anything we can afford that’s still fairly new. Anyway, we test drove 3series coupe, just the 320d. It was fine. The 60mpg would be nice though. We shall see.

Out for lunch at Clive Ramsays in Bridge of Allan, I had Caesar salad, and it was delicious.

And then somehow I ended up watching x-factor. I can’t do that every week until christmas. I just can’t do it.

you: salad? you? haha!
me: I did, chicken caesar salad. With anchovies and bacon. Lovely
you: was it not you that the chant "never seen a salad" with associated finger pointing was invented for?
me: No!
you: and why would a caesar salad have anchovies in?
me: isn’t it supposed to?
you: I don’t care if it is. Anchovies are wrong
me: they weren’t the wee brown things you see on pizza. They were nice wee fresh fillets.
you: not interested. Wrong.
me: well I enjoyed it and it reminded me of Lizzaran in Palma
you: does your missus know you’ve got a lass called Lizzaran?

Aug 20 2011

Saturday 20 August 2011: Too many people

words to follow. In the meantime this is a bubble on the high street in edinburgh. So many people and performers, yet I liked this one best. You can see the reflections of all the flyer covered pillars and the cobbled street.

you: words to follow? WORDS TO FOLLOW?! No chance matey, you’re not leaving until you’ve spoken to me.
me: but I feel totally crappy
you: no buts. Lets have it, what have you done today?
me: Ok. Lunch with JJ and SL. Nachos. Good. White Lightnings house. High Street. Too many people. Photos. Meet missus off train. Good. Pizza and pasta. Good. Don’t feel well. Bad. Dave Gorman. Good. Pancake with nutella and banana. Good. Still don’t feel well. Bad. Pint of cider. Good. Feel terrible, have to go home. Bad.
you: there you go. Now there are no words to follow as you’ve said it all
me: is this the first time you have actually helped me?
you: I think it might be.
me: Thanks.
you: oh, and glad to see you took notice of your body telling you it wasn’t well by having sickly sugary things and a pint of cider
me: aye, maybe not the best of ideas.
you: idiot.

Aug 19 2011

Friday 19 August 2011: Road closed.

I mapped out a 50mile route for a bike run, headed out, and within quarter of a mile of leaving home arrived at a road closed sign. So I just headed in completely the opposite direction and made the route up as I went along. 51 miles. Not bad for no planning. Headed over Kincardine Bridge, along to the Forth Road Bridge, then up in to the usual stomping ground of the hilly wee roads behind Linlithgow. It was good, not sure I’ll do it again though as some of the roads were a bit "main", with the associated traffic.

I’d never been across the FRB on foot/bike, so that was cool. It doesn’t half vibrate. Which gave me an idea: I’m going to sell tickets to Power Plate classes, then just get the attendees to stand on the bridge. I may well be a millionaire by next week.

The FRB (my abbreviations have let me down) looked as good as I’ve seen it in a long time too. It appears to have lost most of it’s usual covering of scaffolding.

you: you won’t be.
me: what?
you: a millionaire. It’s a stupid idea.
me: ok maybe just slightly rich?
you: no. How knackered were you at the end of your ride?
me: fairly.
you: and you’re talking about doing the 100mile pedal for Scotland
me: that’s still the plan
you: not a chance fat boy.

Aug 18 2011

Thursday 18 August 2011: Too tired

to blip. This was my one emergency photo for the day, and tonight it will just have to do.

you: Serves you right for celebrating too much last night.
me: it was a good cause.
you: granted. Bet you had a banging head today though?
me: naw, the usual pile of toast and several pints of water once again worked wonders. But by half five I could have gone to sleep
you: and yet you are still up at midnight
me: and probably won’t be able to sleep because I’m too tired.
you: I hate it when people say that. Just go to sleep. Idiot.

Aug 17 2011

Wednesday 17 August 2011: W00t. WooHoo. -insert generic excitement here-

We sold our house today. Ok we don’t have the money yet. But the missives have been concluded. It’s a legal agreement now. So after several pints:

me: I’ll have a bottle of champagne please
barmaid: no problem. How many glasses would you like
me: 3. Make them pint glasses
barmaid: eh, seriously?
me: most definitely.

Good night tonight. We ticked off another 6 boozers. Down Leith way, and none of them were as scary as expected. In fact one of them was rather nice. It would have been 7, but we forgot to get a photo of Teuchters, which is where we went for the champagne. It was nice being back in there. It felt like home. And JA and her team from work were there so had a bit of a blether with them which was nice.

you: ok, I’m going to let the bold chat with someone other than me pass tonight since you were celebrating
me: very kind of you
you: I thought so. So what are you going to buy me?
me: what am I going to buy you?
you: are you a parrot? Yes, that’s what I said
me: why would I buy you anything?
you: because I’ve been here keeping you company and keeping your morale up for over a year since you put the house on the market
me: keeping my morale up? You do very little except slag me off!
you: no no you’ve got it all wrong. You appear to be taking my verbal abuse support in the wrong way
me: oh, yeah, I thought it would be my fault.
you: but of course.

Aug 16 2011

Tuesday 16 August 2011: Should have gone somewhere tonight

But instead I have spent almost 5 solid hours going through wedding photos. Knackered. I knew the sky was gonna turn, but didn’t get anywhere decent to take a photo.

I also realised I hadn’t had any tea when it got to half ten. It appears that I look after the missus better than I do myself as I always try and make sure we eat by 8 when she is here.

Just watched One Man Walking. Half an hour without any dialogue, just music and dance. I barely moved. I thought it was ace. C4 are showing some good stuff just now.

you: you watched half an hour of dance?
me: yup
you: weirdo
me: it was cool. It told a story.
you: still weird. What kind of dance was it?
me: Krump. Not my favourite style to watch.
you: you’re not making yourself any less weird by having a favourite style of dance to watch….. Just out of interest, what is your favourite?
me: hmmm, I like a lot of Mia Michaels contemporary stuff
you: ok it was bad enough that you just liked a style, now you like a choreographer? I can’t take any more of this nonsense. I’m off to do some DIY or something manly
me: can I come?
you: NO!

Aug 15 2011

Monday 15 August 2011: Toy Machine

Just watched Concrete Jungle on C4 and watched Graffiti Wars which was on C4 last night too.

Concrete Jungle was about a skater, some parkour dudes, a bmx flatlander and Danny Macaskill. Basically people that can do everything I ever wanted to do.

So the minute it finished I headed to the garage to find my skateboard. I bought it about 10 years ago. It cost me about a hundred quid. It never saw much use, not 100 quids worth anyway. I did ride it off a jetty into a loch on my stag do though.

you: if it’s everything you ever wanted to do why didn’t you?
me: eh, my center of gravity is all wrong.
you: rubbish!
me: that and I was scared I’d break myself
you: you’ll never be any good at anything if you’re scared.
me: been at the fortune cookies again?
you: my words of wisdom don’t come from cookies. So what did you do on the skateboard in the garage? Some cool tricks?
me: eh, naw. I took it’s photo.

Aug 14 2011

Sunday 14 August 2011: Let there be light. (holiday day 7)

Just a lamp the missus pointed out as we wandered for our respective trains this morning. I don’t imagine it throws out much light even when it’s on. The glass could do with a bit of a clean.

Train journey back up was good. As with the way down the other person that had a seat booked didn’t show, so I had both seats to myself. Some lovely views, and I really enjoy train travel, it’s nice and relaxed.

Got home, went and collected Molly from the cattery. Got a bit of shopping. Made some phonecalls. Downloaded photos. Backblipped: 1, and 2.

Oh, and another of my photos sold.

Back to work tomorrow.

you: "Some lovely views"
me: yes, that’s what I said
you: and yet you blip a grimy old lamp
me: it would appear so
you: nice views in the future please.
me: variety is the spice of life
you: I don’t even know how that’s relevant.
me: mm, now I read it I’m not sure either.

Aug 13 2011

Saturday 13 August 2011: Steam power. (holiday day 6)

Today we went to the Museum of Science and Industry. I loved it. Within 5 minutes of being in the steam hall I’d lost the missus. I say lost, but actually she’d just found a bench to sit on and was on facebook on her phone.

I love old machinery. I like the size of the components and the theatre of them in operation. I think they are the sort of thing I could have worked with, or maybe even have invented. Not like the ‘machines’ of nowadays where the components aren’t visible to the naked eye. I can’t even begin to imagine how they developed weaving machines though.

Tonight we jumped on the tram and headed out to J & A’s for tea at their new house. It’s a very cool pad, they have this neon up on their new brick wall. Looks great. They also have a blown up copy of one of their wedding photos which is frickin’ ace, just a black and white of them walking down the street, but such an awesome photo. It’s been added it to my "must take a photo that cool one day" list.

you: you? Invent things?
me: yeah. Why not?
you: eh, because you don’t have an inventive bone in your body
me: I do so!
you: So come on, what sort of steam powered machine would you have invented?
me: well I don’t know now do I! It’s all been done. There isn’t a steam powered market with a niche that needs filled.
you: how convenient!
me: you can’t blame me for being born 100 years too late
you: I can, will, and do blame you for whatever I see fit.

Aug 12 2011

Friday 12 August 2011: War! Huh-yeah…. (holiday day 5)

…what is it good for? Absolutely nothing.

Except for museums. We went to the imperial war museum today. It was really good. My knowledge of the history of the great wars is pretty terrible, and no matter how many war museums we go to it’s like I am learning from scratch. More of the missus thing than mine really, but we both enjoyed it. Eventually I got distracted by trying to get a photo of my silhouette created by the film projectors.

Out for tea at San Carlo Cicchetti, an Italian that serves it’s dishes in a sort of tapas style. So you pick 4 or 5 things. And they were all superb. Stand out for me though was the tuna tartare. Made table side, and absolutely delicious

you: eh, tartare, that’s raw right?
me: right.
you: no, that’s wrong.
me: no, it’s right.
you: yes it’s raw, but eating it is wrong.
me: naw man it was delicious, you should try it.
you: not a chance! Still, at least it wasn’t steak tartare with a raw egg.
me: mmm, I’ve had that too.
you: boak!

Aug 11 2011

Thursday 11 August 2011: Grounded (holiday day 4)

Moved cities today. So now our hotel is about 200 yards from where some of the worst of the rioting was on Tuesday. As a result the missus grounded me and I wasn’t allowed out with my camera tonight. If all the scum are good little boys and girls tonight then maybe I will be allowed out tomorrow.

I don’t think I’ve ever been grounded in my life, until now.

Just went for tea in the hotel, and it was rather nice. The new hotel room is slightly smaller than the last. Well, a lot smaller actually. In fact the new hotel room is about the same size as the bathroom of the last place.

you: never been grounded? You must have been as interesting and exciting in childhood as you are in adulthood. ie, not very
me: I lived in the country, played settlers well beyond the boundaries of an addiction, and occasionally played on my bike
you: surely you got a lift to town every other weekend to partake in under age drinking in the park?
me: Nope. I spent my weekends watching films I had taped and playing settlers until it crashed and I had to start again
you: ooh party animal
me: hey I knew how to party. I once watched Stand By Me 8 times in a week
you: once again I find myself wishing to no longer be associated to you

Aug 10 2011

Wednesday 10 August 2011: Shambolic…. (holiday day 3)

Not a comment on the state of the country at the moment, I can’t think of that without going off on one. Just a suitable title for a picture of the Shambles.

That street makes me feel like I am in Ankh-Morpork. Half expected to see someone from the assassins guild jumping across the rooftops. Or someone from the thieves guild skulking in the shadows. Or maybe a member of Seamstress’ guild, eh, seamstressing. I’m sure that’s what they did.

Went to the York Museum today. Supposedly york visitor attraction of the year 2011. We liked it, but didn’t think it was amazing.

Walked right round the walls of the city, that was nice.

And went to Betty’s Teashop with the intention of getting 2 high teas. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t spend over £30 on some tiny cakes and sandwiches. The missus had I high tea, and i just had a cuppa and went to the pasty shop when we left.

you: Please please please tell me you’re kidding?
me: I’m not.
you: you are, go on, you are.
me: no, I just couldn’t do it. I don’t mind spending a few quid on things that I feel are worth it, but as we stood in the queue I decided I was just being fleeced as a tourist.
you: but it’s the traditional thing to do in york
me: and who made it a tradition?
you: eh…?
me: Betty, whoever she is, that’s who. No one knows who she is and you know why?
you: go on, why?
me: because she never leaves her private Caribbean island funded by overpriced cream teas, and you know what else? She drinks PG tips and eats Mr Kippling cakes.
you: quite finished?

Aug 9 2011

Tuesday 9 August 2011: The scum of the earth……. (holiday day 2)

….appear to have come out of their holes. WTF is going on? Have watched a fair bit of the news coverage of the riots around england today and tonight. Absolutely disgusting. Give the police their plastic bullets and water canons. Give them whatever the hell they want to deal with these wee shites.

It must be terrifying for the police. Stick at it lad’s and lasses, don’t let the b@st@rds win.

Apart from that we’ve been on the open topped bus and been to the Jorvik centre. And been to a Thai place. Nice, but not Dusit quality.

you: aye they’re wee shites thats for sure.
me: aye. No use to anyone. Arrest the lot of them and bring back national service
you: interesting
me: or send them to Antarctica with nothing but a pair of swimming trunks to wear
you: strange
me: or just drive a tank over them
you: eh, murder. Lets just go with the arrests eh
me: aye ok. But a life sentence of hard labour
you: I’m down with that.

Aug 8 2011

Monday 8 August 2011: Corridor (holiday day 1)

Had a lovely train journey down this arvo. We were at a table seat and the other people that had the other seats booked never turned up so we had it to ourselves. It was looking like the entire trip was going to be spoiled as a result of having to listen to the trials and tribulations of a teenage girl as she wittered on on the phone. Eventually she shut up though.

The hotel is lovely. The room is probably one of the nicest we have stayed in. Just have to hope the bloke with the sthil outside saw eventually gives it a rest!

Met JH for a few jars tonight. Was great to catch up with him, just a shame his missus was poorly and couldn’t join us.

you: yer in a lovely city and you blip the hotel corridor?
me: I just like it.
you: lucky you don’t work for the tourist board. "come and see our beautiful historic city. We have great corridors.
me: ach leave me alone.
you: like that’s gonna happen. Out to some nice local type place for tea?
me: pizza express
you: loser

Aug 7 2011

Sunday 7 August 2011: Sharp shooter

Last night must have been fun….I’m feeling rather ropey. Backblipped to cover yesterdays ‘day in the life of a wedding photographer’.

Not happy with a lot of my shots but I might be being overly critical. Went through them this morning with my folks and siblings and they liked a lot that I didn’t. Anyway, I learned a lot, noticed a lot of my mistakes in hindsight, but should have enough to get a nice wee album put together.

We got my old gun out this morning. It would appear it hasn’t been used in a while. Probably not since I was last home with all the boys for a few beers and the requisite shooting of empty cans that always follows. Once it was cleaned up it turns out the sights were still set right, so we dished out some pain and death to an empty vitamin C container. Oooh, the carnage.

you: sharp shooter? Is that a pun for the many every so slightly blurry shots you took at the wedding yesterday?
me: it wasn’t meant to be, but yes, I suppose it could be. Shooting indoors in low light. Frustrating.
you: And beer mixed with guns? Sounds like a smart thing to do.
me: yeah it’s fun
you: sorry. What I actually meant to say was how stupid can you be?
me: Well we’re not gonna shoot full cans are we?
you: oh yeah, I guess.
me: see!
you: actually no. That was sarcasm. Idiot.
me: you’re aware the shooting occurs the day after?
you: oh, right, I see…………..

Aug 6 2011

Saturday 6 August 2011: Peekin’ oot.

Today I was doing the photography for my cousins wedding. Nowhere near as nervous as when I did it for K&K. Sadly it was grey and wet and I couldn’t tempt the bride outside as she was worried she would end up with a streaky tan. Fair enough I wouldn’t want a streaky tan any time either, never mind on my wedding day.

Almost all the guests were up from ‘dahn sarf’, so I was expecting the ceilidh to be a complete flop. How wrong could I be? Loads of them were up for giving it a go. Good on them.

Nice food. A bit of dancing. Several beers. Good times.

you: Very.
me: eh?
you: Very. You asked how wrong you could be.
me: oh.
you: Still, you’ll have made a bob or two doing the photos
me: naw, it was a gift.
you: bet they wish you’d just got them a toaster.

Aug 5 2011

Friday 5 August 2011: Sponsered by Bombay Sapphire

JJ and Adam came through this arvo to go for a cycle. Last night they had polished off a bottle of bombay sapphire gin between them. Looking at JJ you could tell. Looking at Adam you wouldn’t have had a clue. This picture represents how I think JJ was seeing the world. 25 miles at a sedate pace in the sunshine was just the ticket though, I’m sure it’ll have done him the world of good. And if it it didn’t, not to worry, I still enjoyed it.

Got a bit of fence repairing done this morning. The sds drill I bought months ago made short work of the concrete. Having the right tools for a job is ace.

Back home now for a wedding tomorrow. I’m doing the photography. Kinda looking forward to it. Kinda not. We’ll see how it goes

you: someone paying you to do their photos? Are they mental
me: sadly no. It’s a family do. I’m doing it for a freebie
you: more fool you
me: I guess
you: and still, they must be mental. Don’t they want some nice photos to remember their big day by?
me: I’m hoping there will be a bike there that I can photograph, that would be a nice photo.
you: probably not what they are after though.

Aug 4 2011

Thursday 4 August 2011: Never saw this on the tour.

First puncture on the new bike tonight. First puncture on any bike for years actually. Slightly annoying as I’d only gone out for a quick ride. In the end I spent more time faffing about fixing it and taking photos than I had intended to ride for.

I’m off work for a week now. Looking forward to it.

We have been watching the modern BBC version of Sherlock, which for some reason I had avoided first time around. Within 10 minutes it was already better than the new Torchwood. In fact it seems like it might be very good indeed.

you: oh yeah you must have been at work for at least a fortnight, it must be time for a holiday.
me: now hang on a minute, It was the middle of June last time I had a week off.
you: oh, sorry, so its been about 6 weeks. You must be utterly worn out and sorely in need of some R&R
me: now you come to mention it…..
you: man up lame ass!

Aug 3 2011

Wednesday 3 August 2011: The nights are drawing in.

On the way to work I noticed that a random bit of topiary in the shape of a stag had appeared in one of the gardens. As I was in a rush I decided that if I still needed a blip on the way home I’d take a shot…..

Another 5 pubs ticked off tonight. White Lightning, Napoleon, The Chemist, Colin, and even Fat Mungo for a bit. The Chemist was bought an Alan Partridge ladyboy as punishment for something or other. I think he was lucky not to get a second. Turns out there is a Ladyboy appreciation society on facebook. If I was on there I might join it.

…..and this is it. The shot on the way home. Turns out it’s almost dark by 10 these days. The stag is helpfully indicated by the arrow.

you: poor, very poor
me: I know, but it’s not my fault it was dark
you: I wasn’t talking about the photo
me: oh. eh?
you: I was taking about the boozer tick-off. Only 5? You weren’t trying hard enough
me: perhaps, but my liver will thank me for it?
you: Liver? Never mind your liver! You have a pub poster to complete.
me: a very good point. Note to self: Must try harder

Aug 2 2011

Tuesday 2 August 2011: Blip escapades result in jam. Result.

Today’s random adventure as a result of blip resulted in me getting a jar of delicious home made gooseberry jam.

Way back here I randomly commented that I would purchase some of the jam mentioned in the journal for £5 to go to charity….then promptly forgot all about it. Only to recieve a comment a few days later to say that batch 2 was ready, had I been serious?

Jam was involved. Of course I was serious! "I’ll be the one in red" commented flumgummery. "I’ll be the one looking for the one in red", was my entirely unhelpful response. Anyway, as I wandered up to the Royal Scottish academy, there were at least 6 people in red.

I figured asking random folk "have you got any jam" while waving a fiver at said randoms, was too random even for me. Luckily I saw the merchandise being transferred and knew I had I had found my partner in crime jam.

So I had a nice chat with Mrs and Mr Flumgummery, and wandered back to work happy.

Steak at wetherspoons tonight before going to see some "comedy". I did the annoying quotes thing as he (Phil Nichol) was ok, but not great. Certainly well worth a fiver, but he was very obviously trying out new stuff for the edinburgh festival.

you: five quid for jam? Are you mental? Scratch that last question. Five quid for jam?!
me: it was going to a good cause
you: hmmm, ok, I’ll let you off. Have you eaten any of it off a spoon yet?
me: no! Don’t be ridiculous!
you: entirely unbelievable.
me: ok, just a few spoonfuls
you: did you test it for radioactive poison before eating it?
me: I’m not a russian spy. I think I’m safe
you: but what if flumgummery is actually an american spy, and has mistakenly identified you as her mark, and lured you in using jam based social engineering?
me : well if I turn up dead tomorrow everyone knows who the culprit is. Now seeing as these may well be my last mortal moments I’m off to eat some more jam

Aug 1 2011

Monday 1 August 2011: It’s hard….

…to stay off the cracks when they are all around you.

you: and that’s it?
me: lookin’ kinda like it.
you: is this meant to be mysterious or something?
me: no, it’s just the only photo I took today.
you: and you have nothing of interest to say either?
me: Oh, we watched the new dragons den. We are fans of the new dragon already, Hilary Duvet or whatever she is called
you: I thought I said ‘nothing of interest’. Oh look, I did.