Monday 2 January 2012: Where would I be without you.

A bit of visiting to drop off christmas presents this arvo while the missus was being a ‘lady what lunched’ then home. A lot of good telly on at the moment. We watched both episodes of Treasure Island today. Eddie Izzard as Long John Silver. Who woulda thunk it? And he was good too. Also watched another set of auditions for Got To Dance. The best of the lot were Prodijig, I thought they were freakin ace. Irish dancing brought up to date. Who woulda thunk it?

Ate half a kilo of stuffing and 6 yorkshire puddings that were about to go out of date. Not entirely sure that much meat agreed with my internals. Who woulda thunk it? And 20 minutes of exercise so that should have made a dent in it all….maybe not the half portion of macaroni the missus left that I ate too though.

you: bit early to be dropping off christmas presents for next year eh?
me: eh, aye, that’s what I was doing
you: aye right, late as ever. And who are you to judge if irish dancing is any good or not?
me: are you forgetting I watched Riverdance from Beijing on christmas eve?
you: oh yeah, instant expert. I see
me: well obviously.
you: you are an idiot. Who woulda thunk it? Oh aye, that’s right, everybody.

Sunday 1 January 2012: Start as you mean to go on.

So we don’t know who won the customary hogmanay board game as I ballsed up the scoring by being crap at counting and taking extra money out of the bank to help me keep track and then forgetting which money I had taken out of the bank and which was mine. Ooops.

A grand night of food, games, booze and banter as usual. And a quick game of sensible soccer on the mega drive before bed. A blast from the past if ever there was one.

Took a leaf out of YearOfHappy’s book today. Stuck on some Foo Fighters and got on with some exercise.

The rest of the day has involved the couch and telly. The new series of Sherlock Holmes started, and was pretty good.

you: starting as you mean to go on eh?
me: aye.
you: sitting alone, on the floor, pouring yourself a drink?
me: well no, I was referring to doing some exercise for the first time in ages.
you: so like YearOfHappy you went out for a run in the cold, wind, and rain
me: well, not quite.
you: not wet or windy?
me: well, no, I only made it as far as the xtrainer in the garage.
you: fail
me: how can it be a fail? I nearly blew my heart up
you: indoor exercise doesn’t count.
me: whatever. Happy new year.

Saturday 31 December 2011: Boomer

This is Boomer. He is a Skylander. He lives at the swamp along with all the other Skylanders behind him. They are all part of a computer game where you sit them on a wee pad hooked up to the xbox and your in game character changes to whichever skylander is sitting on the pad at the time. An awesome bit of marketing, as you need all 32 of them to fully complete the game. At about 7 quid a shot, plus the game, it will cost some poor unsuspecting parents pushing £250. Luckily Fat Mungo isn’t going to be caught unawares….as it seems the game is as much for him as it is for the bairn.

Through at the swamp for our usual hogmanay celebrations tonight. The bairns are packed off to bed, the board game is out (Game of Life : Adventure Edition), and the beers are open. Should be good.

you: prepared to lose again?
me: very much so.
you: skylanders sounds like just the sort of thing you’d get hooked in to.
me: hmmm, maybe, though Fat Mungo is in a different league when it comes to collectables than me. And I never play consoles.
you: though you own one of each
me: that’s not a collection though. Just precautionary purchasing
you: I have no idea what that’s even meant to mean, and I’m not going to ask
me: lucky that, I don’t know what I meant either.
you: freak.

Friday 30 December 2011: le chat dans la fenêtre

20 week baby scan today. It gave me the wink and the gun, so I know all’s well. Saw it’s wee hands and feet, and it’s heart beating, and all that jazz. Very exciting. Tonight I tried singing it a wee bit of Counting Crows: Round Here. No Response. So I tried Radiohead: Creep, and got a kick. So so far baby likes Vengaboys and Radiohead, musical tastes as diverse as mine. Result.

Also spent the evening doing a cv and job application. Man that takes a bit of time.

you: giving your crappy photo a french title doesn’t help you know
me: no? I rather liked it.
you: and how hard can it be to fill in a McDonalds application form?
me: I wan’t to start off with all 5 gold stars though. I don’t want to have to work up.
you: Ok lets try. What do you feel you can you bring to the job?
me: I’m going to revolutionise fries. How do you like the sound of ‘curly fries’
you: been done. Dumbass. You’re fired.
me: which implies I was hired, for a brief period.
you: you weren’t. Just get out of my office. Securityyyyy

Thursday 29 December 2011: The ’staff pick’ effect.

I love graphs. I love graphs with interesting anomalies more. Like the one from my weather station where it appears a space ship must have suddenly hovered above my house as there was a near vertical temperature drop of 4C. That’s probably my favourite graph of my own data. But this runs it a close second.

The baby was going mental tonight kicking around. I was singing it the vengabus and it all kicked off. It’s gonna be a dancer.

Today I have spent about 7 hours on the sofa. Watched all of ‘Great Expectations’ (not bad), ‘Nativity’ (quite good fun), ‘Dr Who’ (fell asleep).

you: I don’t know where to start today. How about child abuse?
me: what are you talking about. The book said the baby can hear now so you can sing to it.
you: you sang VENGABUS! The poor wee bu99er was trying to escape not dance.
me: I offered some Johnny Cash but the missus said no.
you: and are you once again admitting to having a favourite graph?
me: nothing to be ashamed of there. Everyone has one
you: eh, yes there is. And no they don’t
me: really?
you: Really. And finally, could your blip have been any lazier?
me: lazy day, lazy blip. But it’s still a graph.

Wednesday 28 December 2011: Breaking up’s so very hard to do

Unless you happen to be some furrowed soil that’s been getting battered by wind and rain for days on end.

Tired today. That’s what happens when you stay up late reading Top Gear magazine from ‘96

Drive back down from K’s this arvo was horrid. Very windy and wet. So windy that most big bridges in scotland were closed to high sided vehicles.

Always seems a bit sad leaving W.E, much like leaving B.C really.

you: dull.
me: I know, struggling tonight.
you: just call it a day, quit, give up.
me: naw
you: and what would posses you to read TG magazine from ‘96
me: they had a group test of an M3 Evo, a Supra, and a Cerbera on the isle of man!
you: riveting I’m sur…zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tuesday 27 December 2011: Value for money

you: are you still wearing that freakin’ elf costume?
me: I’ve got to get my money’s worth
you: well you’ve been wearing it for more than a week so it must have cost a fortune!
me: £8.99
you: 9 freakin’ quid?! And you feel you have to wear it for a week solid to get your money’s worth?
me: oh yeah, gotta get plenty of use out of it.
you: by that reckoning you must be planning on getting about 4 million miles to get yer money’s worth from 20k of car.
me: I’d settle for 3million. 4 would be a bonus

Monday 26 December 2011: Can’t think of a title.

Fire? Check
Tree? Check
TV with a chrimbo dvd? Check
Family randomly spread around the room in various states of wakefulness? Check

Must be up at K’s for boxing day then. Opened presents. Had a delicious meal. Watched a dvd. Melted in front of the fire. All good.

It’s really been howling a gale again today. I think it’s meant to calm down for one day then back wild for a week. If this is a result of global warming then I’d rather it just stayed cold.

you: is wakefulness a word?
me: I’m not entirely sure.
you: what was for tea?
me: a venison stew thing
you: recipe?
me: ‘chuck what I have in in the pot and see what it’s like’ apparently
you: sounds a bit like pot luck. Pot luck! Did you see what I did there?

Sunday 25 December 2011: Christmas. Dishes. Done.

Some christmas day. The freakin cat appeared for five minutes at 1130 last night then disappeared again. It got to 5 pm today with no sign or sound and there had to be sommat up because it was extremely wild and wet outside and normally she’d be in. Anyway I was trying to be of the opinion that "she’ll just be hiding somewhere" whereas mum was too concerned so went out looking….and found her stuck up on the roof of a house down the road, bedraggled and yowling. So I had to get the big ladders out, in a gale. Thanks for that cat. Anyway, I’m glad she’s back as it means the missus won’t kill me for losing her cat while she was away. And….I’m just glad she’s back. Wee $h1t.

In the end though we had a lovely meal without any stress. All good. Thanks M&S. And Jenelope. And mum for finding the cat.

you: worried about a cat?
me: aye, what of it?
you: what are you gonna be like when you’ve got a bairn and it’s an hour late home for it’s tea because it was stuck up a tree?
me: the bairn or the cat?
you: either I suppose.
me: not good. My new years resolution is not to worry too much about things
you: you’re a bit early for new years resolution
me: ok, my resolution for the rest of the year then
you: much more achievable. Baby steps.

Saturday 24 December 2011: Absolut

This time last year I was standing out on a frozen loch getting my blip. This year I have spent most of the night alternating between watching random tv ("cirque du soleil" from the 80’s judging by the audiences attire, Riverdance from Beijing and Outnumbered (which sadly is well past it’s best)) and going outside to shout on the cat who has gone awol. I saw her for a second then she disappeared again, no idea what she’s playing at.

Mum dad and Jenelope arrived this arvo. Turns out dad has fractured his pelvis in two places from his recent fall. Not good. Mum and Jenelope wanted to head in to town, I think they may be slightly insane. Shopping on christmas eve? No thanks.

Right, I’m away to bed in the hope that when I wake up santa has brought me a) a returned cat b) a pagani zonda r. (and a track to use it on).

you: is riverdance from beijing any different to riverdance from anywhere else?
me: not really. I think the audience looked slightly more confused/bemused than normal though.
you: not a very christmassy blip really eh?
me: not looking like it.
you: ho ho ho.
me: it’s not a laughing matter.
you: I was trying to inject some christmas spirit with a quick santa impression.
me: oh.
you: close. Reverse it and repeat three times.